


the Smashers and their Host

by Yoshichao



Series: it's your smash mansion and you can cry if you want to [1]
Category: Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Comedy, Fluff, Harem, Multi, No Smut, Reader Is Pansexual, Reader is bisexual, Romance, Smash Mansion, dont yall wanna go on a date with crazy hand?, place your bets on how long it takes before the mansion gets destroyed, rated T purely because snake and bayonetta want to CUSS, reader has magic, reader has some Lore and Backstory which is gradually revealed as the fic goes on, reader is a nerd, reader is lonely and also a perfectionist but they mellow out eventually, so many antics and tropes, there will be hints of romance with everyone except the children smashers and some select others, this is dumb af
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-06-16 06:01:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 70,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15430539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoshichao/pseuds/Yoshichao
Summary: You're an inter-dimensional being that owns a huge estate situated on the cusp of spacetime. You've been asked to rent out your mansion for the upcoming Super Smash Bros. tournament.What could possibly go wrong?





	1. you've got mail!

**Author's Note:**

> so there's this fic from another fandom i got really into that was about goofy reader-insert harem shenanigans and i jokingly thought "haha i wonder if there's a smash fic like this". and there wasn't?? so i decided i had to write one. and this is that idea coming to fruition. 
> 
> smash characters start showing up in chapter 3, and then will show up gradually from then on. the first two chapters are mostly set-up. if i stick with this fic long enough, we WILL have every single smash character be part of the fic by about chapter 18 or so.
> 
> even if smooching every eligible smash character isn't your thing, i'm gonna do my best to balance this with enough platonic and non-romance stuff. there will be DATES but i don't have an endgame pairing in mind for the main character.
> 
> anyways. i hope you enjoy the trash.

Light is filtering through your curtains when you awaken, signalling the start of a new day. You could keep sleeping if you wanted to, but you decide today is not one of those days, and you slowly rise from the spacious bed, stretching every limb and joint of your body dramatically. Standing upright, you yawn as you cross the room and reach the window, throwing back the curtains so you can open the window to peer outside.

“It’s another beautiful day!” you announce to yourself, giving the almost-clear sky a smile. There are some ugly-looking clouds in the distance, but you pretend they aren’t there. “I wonder what today will have in store?”

You live in a mansion on an expansive property that stretches further than the eye can see. Everything on the property is yours, and the property itself extends to the limits of this universe - which is to say, you  _ own  _ this so-called “ _ world _ ” that you live in. You live in a gap between time and space - between collections of much larger universes - and have done so for as long as you can remember. While your world is rather ordinary with all things considered, its in-between nature makes it rather convenient for travel. Which isn’t something you do incredibly often - you much prefer to read from tomes that slip into your universe instead - but it is something that helps spice up your otherwise uneventful life when do you indulge the urge. 

“Hmm, what should I wear today?” You ask the peanut gallery as you step out of your walk-in closet with two outfits in hand. The peanut gallery in question consists of a mish-mash of dolls and stuffed toys lined up at the end of your bed, all from different worlds - some you visited, others that dropped these objects into your world via some unknown and likely accidental force. 

“Is today a casual day or a business day?” In one hand you have a dark red blazer that you’ve decided goes with your patterned blue tie, and in the other hand you’ve got a sweater with a bird-like creature sewed on along with the words “you’re my tweetheart”. You look at your plushies expectantly for an answer. 

They say nothing, but you understand their silence perfectly. In particular, your eyes fall on your purple dragon. 

“Why yes, I do believe you’re right!” you say to the dragon, tossing the sweater to the side. You’ll pick that up later. “It  _ does  _ feel like something business-y is going to happen today. I shall dress accordingly.” You give the dragon an affectionate pat on the head and begin to change.

You take your time as you go about your day, choosing to walk through the halls of your estate instead of taking a shortcut to the kitchen, looking at every painting you pass by. You do not know the origin of many of these - most of them have been here longer than you have - but you assume that many of them are of existing places or people in the multiverse. You’ve managed to track down some of the landscapes and identified some of the people, but many are still an enigma to you. Sometimes it frustrates you so much when you can’t find a source - you almost wish there was someone you could ask!

But of course, that is impossible, since you live alone. You always have, and you strongly suspect that you always will.

But that’s okay! It would ruin the fun if you had people to give you all the answers. You greet every portrait you pass by, taking the time to mimic some of the poses or react to the captured action. You pretend to swoon at the statue of the buff shirtless hero. You kiss the hand of a lovely lady. Every work of art had a story to tell, and it was all just so fascinating! You suspect that somewhere in the building there must be pictures of your ancestors or others that had lived here, and your mind goes wild imagining what legendary figures of the multiverse could have walked these halls. 

You’d love to meet such greats someday, but you like to keep yourself from interfering with other universes’ affairs. You’re not sure if you’re ready to be woven into someone else’s story. The idea of standing out so dramatically in another world to the point of possibly  _ changing history _ by mere existence alone is not a pleasant thought to you. So for the most part, you’re content to just read about these iconic tales instead.

Eventually, you reach the banquet hall, where you dramatically throw open the doors to announce your presence. Sometimes you just like to pretend you’re that much-anticipated guest at a party, all eyes on you as you make your entrance. Other times you pretend you are a host to many splendid and accomplished individuals - or perhaps the ill-fated or unrecognized. You’d welcome anyone into your home (as long as they didn’t plan to cause destruction or spread obscene amounts of filth), and you like to think it’s because you are a kind and generous person with so much to give, and not just because you are very very lonely.

The banquet hall is far too large to traverse and does not have enough interesting decor to distract you. You’ve already gotten your fill of statues and wall art from the halls, so about halfway through the room you let yourself skip right to the end, effortlessly handing the transition as you push open the door to the kitchen. You’ve modeled the kitchen after what you’ve seen in movies - after what you’ve seen in fancy restaurants and other big mansions like yours - though you always feel a twang of disappointment that it never gets any use. You’ve tried to cook for fun, but you just let the preparation jump from step to step until you have a perfect meal. There’s never anything or anyone to stop you from jumping right to the end.

There’s also nothing that stops you from just  _ not eating _ , because it’s not really something you need. But it’s something you watch other people do, so you’ve fit it into your routines just to keep yourself busy.

“What should I have for breakfast?” You stop in front of what is supposed to be the fridge, but you know that it never has anything in it unless you  _ want  _ it to have something inside. Because you don’t feel like going through the process to pretend to make something, you decide to just poof something into the fridge. Closing your eyes, you grab the door handle, thinking hard about what you want (for dramatic effect), and then yank it open to find…!

Hmm. Thinking about it, you’re not sure if pie is supposed to be breakfast food. But that’s okay, you don’t have to follow any rules! You’re gonna eat what you  _ want _ . And that, at this very moment, is a delicious freshly baked pie. 

You take the whole pie with you, because cutting it into slices is absurd when you are eating alone. 

You consider eating outside and admiring the lovely view, but you decide it’s time to get  _ real _ . You make a beeline for the study - though you do so by walking there instead of popping, so you can nod sagely at some more paintings - with the intent to “get down to business”, one might say, and do some business-y things. “Business-y things” are generally what you call your interactions with the outside world, because you like to pretend this is your  _ job  _ \- sending letters, studying the multiverse, and other such things. One of these things is definitely on the list today.

As soon as you open the door to your study, you see the letter on your desk. You had sensed its arrival when you had woken up, and had told the universe to forward it to your desk. You already know it’s from an unfamiliar address, so its arrival is  _ very exciting _ . And it’s  _ actually  _ addressed to you, unlike most letters that end up in your world! You have absolutely no idea what it could be!! The suspense is just  _ killing  _ you. 

Placing the pie on the desk, you plop down in your chair and let it spin a full rotation, a big smile on your face. As you pull the envelope close with one hand, you shove a fork full of pie into your mouth. You take a moment to savour the cinnamon-butterscotch combination flavour before you return your full attention to the letter.

The design of the wax seal is familiar, but you can’t quite place your finger on where you’ve seen it before. It’s a circle with a misaligned cross in the bottom left, and aw geez it’s really killing you to not know what this is!! After another bite of pie, you eagerly pop open the envelope and pull out the piece of parchment inside. The writing is very elegant, and you quickly realize where you know that symbol from.

It’s the logo of the most popular fighting tournament in the multiverse,  _ Super Smash Bros. _ ! You’ve attended all of their events (no problem for someone who has access over most of spacetime) and watched icons and no-names duke it out for victory. You’re briefly starstruck and have to pause your reading to wonder what they could possibly want with you - how did they even  _ find  _ you?! 

The message of the letter is quickly apparent: the showrunners want this to be their biggest event yet (“isn’t it always?” you muse to yourself aloud), but their previous locations simply do  _ not  _ have enough space for what they’re planning. So they are asking you to rent out your property to them before and during the tournament, for both housing accommodations and the tourney itself. 

Wow.

You have to reread the letter a few times to make sure you’re understanding it correctly. You’re half spaced out when you remember you still have a pie on your desk, so you hurriedly take another bite, not caring if all of it doesn’t reach your mouth. 

They want to hold the next  _ Smash Bros. _ tournament  _ here _ ! You’re glad this is a letter and not a face-to-face interaction, because all you can do is squee from excitement. Sure,  _ Smash  _ is a big deal, but you admittedly might be even more excited about the prospect of having  _ people  _ here. You never have people over - for various reasons, of course - so the idea of this mansion -  _ your mansion _ \- being filled with so many famous superstars is just…!

You don’t even have words for it.

You’re already pulling out a blank piece of paper and a pen when your mind goes “whoa hold on there” and “let’s think about this for a minute”. Yeah, okay, obviously you’re not going to agree right away. You need to see a contract and have the opportunity to lay down a lot of rules. The idea of people wrecking your home and messing with your things has always been an overwhelming thought - one that dissuades you from thoughts of having  _ real people _ over and keeps your imagination content with picturesque fictional scenarios involving said people. But these are big name superstars! They’ve done this song and dance before, so surely they won’t be  _ too  _ rowdy? As aggressive as the tournaments can get, you have to imagine they get along pretty well otherwise. You’ve seen a few sporting events involving some of the more famous Smashers, and if Super Mario can get along with his nemesis, the King of Koopas himself, then the rest of them could easily be the same!

Your pen is hovering over the page. 

This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. 

These halls can finally be filled with real,  _ living  _ people, and not just statues and paintings. 

You take a deep breath, wolf down another bite of Determination Pie, and start writing a reply. 

Hours after you’ve whispered “send this to where the letter came from” to the wind and flicked your own envelope into the vastness of the aether, you are lying on the floor and hoping you made a good decision.


	2. The Contract

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet with Master Hand and Crazy Hand to discuss negotiations and sign a contract.

Replies are sent back and forth, and this is really happening: you are going to meet with the hosts of  _ Super Smash Bros. _

You believe that honour goes to the entities known as Master Hand and Crazy Hand. There have been a few years where there was another being pulling the strings, but you have a feeling those were just for the sake of the plotlines they had going on. Just thinking about what crazy ideas they might have cooking up this year makes you grin uncontrollably from anticipation. And  _ you  _ will get to watch them develop behind-the-scenes! You have to wonder how much is scripted and how much isn’t - you don’t want to ruin the magic, but at the same time, you’ve GOT to know!

In preparation for the meeting (and to distract yourself from your doubts), you’ve given the entire property the look-over  _ thrice _ , just to make sure everything is perfect. You know it is, because you made it that way, but you can’t stop yourself from going through the halls again and again, just to make sure nothing looks dirty or out-of-place. You worry the Smashers might not be satisfied here, even though your property has everything you can think of (well, except any hint of a living civilization beyond yourself). 

The day of the meeting, you feel the shift in the air when two somethings arrive in your world. 

Checking yourself in the mirror one last time, you quickly make your way to greet your guests, popping from your room to the lobby and going out the front door manually. As expected, two large floating hands are there waiting for you. The calmer one is wearing a bowtie around the wrist, while the twitchier-looking fella has a polka-dot tie wrapped around its pinky finger. You  _ think  _ you already know which is which. As you approach, you can hear they’re already in the middle of a conversation.

“--Crazy, I’ve told you time and time again, that’s not how you put on a--” The right hand notices you and cuts itself off, making a sound as if to clear its nonexistent throat. “Oh, hello! Would you happen to be the owner of this universe?”

“Yes! I am!” You hope it’s not glaringly obvious how nervous you are - you haven’t talked to anyone real in ages. You pause to collect a little bit of composure before introducing yourself, giving them your name. “I’m very honoured that you’re considering holding your tournament here.”

“The honour is all ours - you have such a lovely space here. We must thank you for considering our offer.” The hand pauses, making a ‘wait’ gesture. “Oh, where are our manners? I am Master Hand, and this is my brother Crazy Hand. You could say we are the hosts of the event.”

Crazy Hand makes a finger gun motion and a clicking sound. For a moment you’re worried, because you recognize that gesture as one of their attacks, but then you realize he’s just doing the greeting you’ve oft seen mortals do in film. You do a double pistol right back, complete with a wink. Crazy gasps and gives his brother a shake.

“Bro! Did you see that?!” He’s trying to whisper, but you can hear him perfectly. “Do you think… that they’ve already fallen for me?! Have my charms truly grown this strong already…?”

“Knock it off, you’re reading too much into it!” Master Hand swats his brother away and lets out a sigh. You can’t help but smile at the two of them, deciding to entertain this little illusion.

“You should be careful, Crazy - I’ve been alone here for soooo long. If you keep it up, I might just go… crazy… for… you…?” 

You’ve got the most wicked and wide-eyed grin right now. Crazy gasps again - possibly taking you seriously instead of picking up on your incredible pun, which you hope doesn’t punch (ha!) you in the butt later down the line. Master Hand merely does a half-hearted rolling motion, which looks like his equivalent of rolling his eyes. 

“Yes yes, now that that’s out of the way, perhaps we can discuss arrangements?”

“Oh! Right, of course.” You turn and head back to the front door, stopping in your tracks when you realize it’s way too small for the Hands to get through.

“There wouldn’t happen to be another entrance, would there?” Master Hand asks, and you give a reassuring smile and wave his concerns away.

“Nah-- well, yeah, there are lots of entrances-- but just give me a sec and I’ll fix this one up real quick.”

You take note of the size of each hand in your mind before you turn and look at the door again. Imagining the Hands against the wall, and the size you’ll need, and…

...you blink.

The doors are now large enough to accommodate giant floating hands. 

You hear Crazy Hand let out an “ooooo” while his brother makes a more subtle sound of recognition, and even though this was the simplest thing in the world for you, you felt yourself swell up with pride. There was never anyone to watch you use your abilities, so it just became second nature to you. It never really occurred to you that you’re doing anything remotely cool.

“Come on in,” you say, pushing open the doors and striding on inside. Crazy flies in first, flipping excitedly to check everything out, while Master Hand glides in much more calmly.

“For starters, the door will need to be even bigger than that to accommodate certain Smashers,” he says as he floats in, getting down to business immediately. “If that’s not a problem, of course.”

“No problem at all,” you reassure, leading them down one of many halls. You mentally restructure the building’s routes to the plan you had come up with beforehand, so the tour can be smooth and efficient. “I can even put doors inside the door, so it can work for all sizes.”

“That would be perfect,” the right Hand says, guiding his brother away from touching a fancy light. “When we give you the roster, we’ll be sure to put everyone’s heights on it. We often scale the fighters up or down so they can interact with others properly and we can keep fights fair, but there are some who might be… a bit harder to reason with, outside of the tournament.”

You turn to face the hands as you keep walking, a smile spreading on your face. “Whoa, you guys can do that? ...And I get to see the  _ whole roster _ right away??”

“Yes to both of those questions. Since you’ll be housing all the Smashers on the property, it would be most beneficial to everyone involved if you knew all of their identities beforehand.” Master Hand does a snap - perhaps to bring attention to his pun, or perhaps it’s his version of a wink. “Just don’t go leaking this information all at once, okay?”

You would never do such a thing - after all, you don’t have anyone to tell it to - but you do catch the hint of menacing in his otherwise joking tone. You know they got a system here - they leak out information bit by bit to build hype. And gosh dang does it work well. 

“No need to worry about me, my lips are sealed!” You do a zipper motion over your lips, and then after a second thought, you do it over one of your hands as well. Crazy whispers “is that how that works??” at your gesture and you can’t help but chuckle. 

“Splendid, I imagine we won’t have any trouble, then.” And that is that, so you pick up the pace a bit on your tour, because you’re getting increasingly excited over getting the first look at the roster. You show them your banquet hall, your library, several rec rooms, and also mention all the facilities you have on the property that aren’t attached to the mansion. Master Hand simply nods at most of what you mention, occasionally asking questions for more details, while Crazy Hand is comically amazed by absolutely everything. He gets distracted by more than one work of art set up in the estate, and it kills you inside every time. One because you’re worried he might break something (thankfully Master Hand keeps him in check well enough that he never does), and two  _ you want to know the roster!! _

The tour ends in your study, and you have to sit on the desk to keep yourself from bouncing around in anticipation. You’re feeling as jittery as Crazy looks right now! Master Hand speaks, pulling papers from...  _ somewhere _ . It’s like watching a magic trick.

“So, as we discussed - and as is written in the contract that you will sign - rental fees, damages, supplies, individual accommodations, et cetera et cetera, will all be covered by the SSBC - which is us. All we request from you is that you share your property with us for the duration of the event - that includes arrangements before and after the tournament itself.”

“So I don’t need to like, pay you guys or anything? Or… buy food?” You don’t think you could use your abilities to conjure up perfect meals for dozens of people all the time. You tried to fill up your banquet hall once and pretend you were having a magnificent feast, but you ended up feeling too exhausted to eat any of it.

“Certainly not! Likewise, if anything is damaged due to the actions of one of our guests, we will be the ones who see to it that it is fixed post haste.” The Hand sets all the papers down on the table. You wanted to read the whole contract before signing but… it looks really big… You also notice that he’s set down a binder as well. On the cover is an otherwise blank piece of paper, with the title of the new event: “ _ SUPER SMASH BROS. ULTIMATE _ ”.

Under those words is the word that makes your heart skip a beat.

“ **_ROSTER_ ** ”.

That’s it. This is it! It’s _ right there _ ! You have to do everything in your power to keep calm on the outside when your inner self is doing cartwheels. You can’t stop a manic smile from spreading across your features.

“Can I…” You clear your throat, trying to keep down the shakes. “Uh, can I, maybe, see the roster before I sign anything?”

“Of course. It would be wise to know what you’re getting into.” And with that ominous declaration, Master Hand uses a finger to push the binder closer to the edge of the desk and flip it open to the first page. You find yourself inching closer beyond your control, unable to resist the pull of company secrets.

“DON’T DO IT!” Crazy Hand’s sudden barking voice makes you yelp, setting all your nerves a-frazzled. “It’s a trap! It’s too dangerous - turn back! Please, you have to save yourself!”

The left Hand starts wailing inexplicably, and you wait for Master Hand to chide his brother for his outburst, but he’s being eerily still at the moment. Did the room get darker? What is this heavy aura? 

A bit more cautious this time, you approach the desk and sit down. You notice your hands shaking as you take the binder into your hands. With a deep breath, you start to read.

The first page is blank.

So, okay, you start reading on the second page. Which is a table of contents.

You quickly realize they’re in order of their initial addition to the roster after getting through the first twelve. You’re pretty sure that after all this time, none of the veterans from the first ever Smash tourney would be cut, but you’re awash with an odd sense of relief anyways.

It’s the next batch that starts throwing you for surprises.

“Whoa, really?!” you exclaim the second you’ve made sure that no, your eyes are not lying, they’re really bringing back those same-y fighters that haven’t been invited back to the tourneys in  _ years _ . Instinctively, your eyes start skipping down the page to see who else is coming back, and by the time you reach page two you’ve realized--

“Everyone is HERE!” Crazy Hand’s voice once again startles you out of concentration. He’s wearing a party hat now and confetti is raining down while he’s spinning a noisemaker. You hear Master Hand chuckle as you’re brushing coloured paper scraps off of your person.

“Yes, this is the highlight of our event and why it will be our biggest and best yet.” The two hands interlock fingers as if they belong to a single entity and rest on the desk. Crazy is twitching a bit as if he wants to be free, but they remain like that as Master Hand continues speaking.

“We’re looking to bring back every fighter in  _ Smash Bros. _ history for this new tournament, alongside some popularly requested newcomers. And perhaps a surprise or two as well.” 

You flip to the third page in the table of contents. “Geez, more than sixty fighters…” Your eyes rest on one name in particular. “Wow, you weren’t kidding when you said I’d need a bigger door. I’ll see what I can do for rooms and other accommodations and stuff.”

“That would be excellent, thank you.” You’re flipping through the rest of the binder - fighter details, such as their abilities and backstory - when Master Hand speaks up again, getting your attention with a throat-clearing sound. “There’s no rush, and you can take as long as you want to decide - within reason of course, since we have already scheduled a date for the tournament - but… what do you think?”

What do you think about lending your home to a bunch of strangers? 

It’s a bit terrifying honestly, now that you’re seeing all the names. Your home could  _ easily  _ accommodate sixty people, and the idea of walking down the halls and seeing real, living,  _ breathing  _ people is an amazing and unbelievable thought.

But.

“In your opinion,” you begin, swallowing a lump in your throat as you try to find the right words, “how…  _ violent  _ do these guys get?”

Master Hand arches his index finger as if to raise a brow, and Crazy mimics him… before arching all his fingers in a random sequence. 

“Well, this is a  _ fighting  _ tournament. It  _ is  _ borderline bloodsport.” His voice is amused, and you have a feeling he knows what you’re really trying to ask, but is dancing around the subject for some reason. That’s not a good sign.

“No, I mean, uh…” You have to pause to think of the right word for voicing your concerns. “As a group and under your observation, what will their…  _ destructive tendencies _ be like? Outside of battle, I mean.”

Both Hands are impossibly silent and still for a moment. Crazy Hand slowly extends a pinky across the desk, the sound of rustling fabric abnormally loud in the silence.

“Ah, you worry about the state of your home. Of your universe.” Something about the tone is flat - like his sudden realization is totally faked. “Do not fret, as said, we will see to it that any damages are repaired as quickly as possible--”

“Okay, but, should I worry about them breaking things in the first place?” Even though he keeps assuring you that things can and will be fixed, there’s a pit in your stomach at the idea of any destruction happening in the first place. Master Hand pauses before he speaks again.

“...There is always a chance of accidents happening.” At your obvious dissatisfaction, he sighs and continues. “Surely you must be aware that some Smashers are not too fond of each other. It’s not uncommon for fights to break out outside of the arena. But as said--” He disconnects from Crazy (who flops across the desk) and presses his index finger to the table to emphasize a point. “--any and all damages caused by anyone on the staff or roster will be restored to perfection. Books, priceless art, even the entire building itself, will be as they were before the incident. You know our operation - we undoubtedly have both the power  _ and  _ the funds to make this guarantee a reality.”

You don’t doubt it. While you don’t have evidence of this certainty, you’d be willing to bet they could fix something broken without you even noticing it was broken in the first place. Heck, there’s a lot you could fix  _ yourself _ . But there’s still a dumb part of you that worries about the sentimentality of the place you’ve lived all your life. 

As you’re wrestling with your internal struggle, Crazy Hand pulls something out of the unknowable  _ somewhere  _ and slaps it on the table.

“I see you are having trouble making a decision,” Crazy says, in an unexpected serious tone, “so I got a little something that might help persuade you.” And he daintily uses his fingers to slide what he’s got across the desk. It’s a piece of neon pink paper in the shape of a hand, with the words “1 CRAZY DATE” written on it in black crayon.

Something about this handmade coupon highlights the absurdity of your dilemma. 

What are you worried about? A few dumb paintings getting scratched? Some books getting bent? This is the chance of a lifetime, and you’re going to throw it away just so you can keep your dumb property perfect? Perfectly  _ lonely _ , that’s all it’ll ever be.

You grab the contract and a nearby pen. “Where do I sign?”

“You’re not going to read it first?” Master Hand asks, amused. Crazy is doing a fist pump and hissing “ _ yes!! _ ”, likely thinking that his offer worked. You may as well pocket the coupon, just to keep him happy.

“We talked about what was in it, right?” You shrug, and while your logical and overly cautious side is screaming at you, you decide to ignore it and let your life have a bit of  _ risk  _ and  _ thrill _ . Master Hand lets out a curious chuckle, but comments no further and directs you to all the pages you have to sign. Your eyes do catch a few words here and there, but your head is filled with white noise and adrenaline so none of it registers with you. Soon enough, you’re waving goodbye to them with a big dumb grin on your face as they return to whatever universe they came from, and Master Hand tells you what date to start expecting people by.

How bad could it possibly be?


	3. they arrive one by one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet many Smashers, and possibly regret your decision of going along with this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i'm not gonna claim i'm an expert on the personalities of all 60+ characters on the smash roster, so i have to apologize in advance for anyone that's frustratingly OOC. i may come back and edit some stuff down the line, and certain characters probably won't show up as much due to my lack of knowledge about them, but i'm really going to do my best to keep as many characters as relevant as possible!! thanks for reading and sticking with me.

Today is the day.

Today. Is. The day!!

You’ve spent your days adjusting your estate for the sake of specific Smashers. Size accommodations, extra facilities and services - you’re hoping to be the  _ best  _ host possible during the lead-up to the big event. You think, hypothetically, it would be cool if they asked to use your place again for the next one! Or maybe some Smashers would want to stick around a bit longer after the tournament ends! Or, or, or--!

You’ve been letting your imagination run wild, and it’s been hard to lower your expectations.

You feel a genuine excitement as you throw open the window today and smile at the vastness of your land, imaging it filled with people from all sorts of different worlds. Your eyes catch onto those ugly clouds hanging in the distance and spoiling the view, and you squint and try to imagine them gone. However, the next time you blink, they are still there - if not somehow  _ closer _ . 

How aggravating. 

Casting those worries away, you decide you’re going to make sure everything turns out well  _ in spite _ of those awful clouds. You are going to meet some incredibly legendary heroes and fighters today, and  _ nothing  _ is going to put a damper on your mood.

SPEAKING OF INCREDIBLY LEGENDARY HEROES!

A change in the air leaves you shuddering, and you realize you must have spaced out for a bit. Someone has finally arrived in your realm! After spotting a pink-and-white speck approaching via the sky, you rush to get ready and basically fly out the front door. When going over the list of Smashers, you took into account all the different ways they might travel to your world and set up your property accordingly. For your first arrival, you take a shortcut to the airport runway you prepared and it lights up with your presence, shining vibrantly enough for the colours to be seen in broad daylight. You’re basically bouncing with anticipation as the plane gets closer and closer to your position. The wheels slide out, and the flying machine zips pass you as it makes its landing and rolls to a standstill.

You may have gotten a bit excited, waiting at the edge of the runway like that. But thankfully it’s no problem to snap yourself to the other end a moment before the passengers begin to disembark. 

First off the pink plane is… a short mushroom man with a red-and-white cap. What was his name again? Oh, wait, you remember: his name is  _ Toad _ . The little dude has a big smile on his face as he descends the stairs, suitcases in both hands. For the first otherworlder you’re laying eyes on today, he’s not exactly the most incredible of sights, but you can’t help staring at him anyways as you stand in the middle of the open runway space like a buffoon. You should probably move. Maybe go and say hello, or look like you’re busy, but your eyes and feet are glued to the spot.

The next person that emerges from the plane is someone you recognize  _ instantly _ .

That red cap with the M is  _ iconic  _ \- anyone with any knowledge of the multiverse would be a fool to not know who this man is. He, too, exits the plane with luggage, putting it down at the bottom so he can offer a hand to the next person leaving the plane. You recognize her too, even though she’s not in her signature pink dress, instead opting to wear a pink skirt and a plain white shirt. After stepping off the stairs, she takes a look at the sky before placing her sunhat on top of her long golden hair.

You suddenly feel like you should have put more thought into your clothing today. You were so excited that you just grabbed the first thing you could find, and looking at it now, you’re pretty sure your tops and bottoms don’t match. Maybe you can hide, and pop back to your room real quick--

Your thought process screeches to a halt when you realize that they have noticed you. You still think about running off - because suddenly you’re not ready to be social and host-ly yet! - but after the group starts making their way over to you, your legs are moving forward on their own even though your mind has thrown out all scripts on how you should greet them.

“Are you the-a host for this year’s  _ Super Smash Brothers _ ?” the mustachioed man asks once you’ve all gotten close enough. Your throat suddenly feels tight from nervousness.

“Yes! That’s me!” You awkwardly clear your throat and will your voice to a more normal pitch before introducing yourself, saying your name in a rush. “...and I own this whole universe. So uh, everything in this realm’s limits is available to you guys.”

“The  _ whole  _ universe?!” the princess gasps, and you feel a mixture of pride and self-consciousness. “Goodness, I’ve never heard of someone ruling over that much.” You suppose her world is likely one of those that doesn’t yet interact with its universe in such a vast and all-encompassing way, and you’re about to tell her it’s more common than she may think, but the subject is changed before you can stammer something out.

“Well, my name is Princess Toadstool, of the Mushroom Kingdom. But you can just call me Peach!” She gives such a lovely smile that you cannot help but give a smile back. “This is my attendant, Toad, and this here is Mario. It’s an honour to meet you!”

“Th-The honour is all mine, your highness!” You awkwardly give something between a bow and a curtsy. Peach just giggles and politely waves off your gesture.

“Oh, there’s no need for that - just Peach is fine! We’re friends now, after all.”

The words hit you more than they probably should, and you feel awash with embarrassment as you stand upright. Friends are something of an anomaly with your lifestyle, and the fact that someone - a princess no less - would accept you so easily is… is… 

It just makes you really happy!!!

“Thank you, Princess… uh, Peach.” You correct herself when she gives you a mock-stern frown, and her radiant smile returns when you finish. You can’t imagine what she would be like if she  _ actually  _ got angry. Someone else says something to you, but you don’t quite hear them. Your attention has been drawn to one more person exiting the plane.

It seems that while everyone was chatting away, this unlucky green fellow got stuck with carrying out the rest of the luggage. You wince at his misfortune when one of the suitcases slips from his grasp and pops open upon hitting the pavement. You hear Mario utter a “mamma mia” as he watches Tall Green over there fumble to squeeze everything back in.

“Hm? What’s he still doing over there?” Peach wonders aloud, clearly amused, before she raises her voice to address the fellow. “Luigi! Come meet our host!”

“C-Coming!” After a bit more struggle, Green Bean gives up on closing the suitcase clasp and just carries it sideways. He grabs what else he can and, after woefully abandoning a dropped bag, manages to scurry over to your group. 

Peach is the one to introduce you to Mario’s brother, as Mario himself takes bags from him and Toad skillfully manages to tuck and close the open suitcase. You notice that Luigi looks tired and perhaps even more jumpy than you, offering a weak “hello”. Did he have a bad flight?

“Oh, there’sa one more person you should-a meet!” Mario suddenly says after Luigi and Toad return to retrieving the rest of the luggage by and on the plane. There’s a pause, then you notice Mario signature hat jostle on its own. You’re more than a little startled when his hat leaps off his head and transforms into a top hat-wearing ghost.

“H-Hey there! I’m Cappy!” The little ghostie looks nervous to meet you and be in such an unfamiliar place. You recognize him from Mario’s page in the roster binder, though you don’t yet know much about him aside from the fact that he accompanied Mario on his latest adventure.

“It’s nice to meet you, Cappy!” you answer with a friendly smile, hoping to help calm his nerves (or lack thereof, ehehehe). “Is this your first  _ Smash Bros. _ experience?”

“Y-Yeah! Everyone told me about it on the ride here!” Under it all, you can tell he’s excited to be here despite being a tag-along instead of having his own slot on the roster, and it warms your heart. “I’m not sure if I’ll be much help… but I’m gonna do my best!”

“I think you’re gonna do great,” you say with complete sincerity, and Cappy beams in response. You’re suddenly excited to meet more newcomers - and then, you remember, there are still  _ so many _ other people to meet!

Some of which you can sense the arrival of now. Instinctively, you look towards the horizon. You can feel them, but not yet see them, so they must be arriving in something more subtle than a plane.

“Are we bringing all this to the house over there?” Looking down, you see Toad gazing up at you questioningly. Briefly, you had forgotten how far the airport was from your home, and that most of the Smashers wouldn’t be privy to your shortcuts. You hear Luigi mumbling an “ohh noo” when he realizes the distance.

Thankfully, while you had forgotten about it  _ now _ , it was something you took into consideration while you were preparing for this day.

“We are, but we don’t have to walk,” you reply, leading everyone towards the golf carts lined up on the edge of the runway. You saw them in television shows a few times, and they looked fun, so you got some of your own. It’s nice to finally have a use for them beyond a one player version of bumper cars.

You help them load all the luggage onto the carts - Mario, Cappy, and Peach take one cart, while Luigi rides in the back of the cart that Toad drives. You drive your own cart, unable to stop yourself from envisioning a go-kart race. Last season, they had a cross-promotional event where several Smashers showed up in the Mushroom Kingdom’s go-kart competition. You wonder if there will be anything like that this year. Beyond the roster, Master and Crazy Hand hadn’t told you much about the Smash Bros. event itself, just saying they’d take care of it and ask for your assistance if it was needed. While the roster is admittedly what gets you most excited about these events, good  _ golly  _ you are curious about whatever they have in store.

Lost in your thoughts, you’re lagging behind the other two carts a bit, which gives you a great view of Luigi nearly failing to catch a toppling bag. You feel bad for him - you know that he lives in his bro’s shadow - but you can’t help the little laugh that escapes you at the sight. Poor guy. Hopefully after all the unpacking is done, he’ll be able to catch a break.

Once the lot of you arrive at the mansion, the first thing you notice is that there are  _ a lot _ of R.O.B.s and Mr. Game & Watches moving boxes into the building. They’re coming and going from a hazy crack in the air - a rift to another world. You don’t know where the rift leads, but you presume it’s where Master Hand and Crazy Hand reside, or are perhaps just dictating orders from. All the boxes have the Smash logo on them. 

Just as you’re wondering if there is a “master” unit to each of these characters, one of each makes their way over to you - R.O.B. sliding over smoothly while Game & Watch moves with a walk cycle that’s disjointed enough to make it look like he’s also sliding.

They both greet you non-verbally in their own way and you awkwardly introduce yourself. Mr. Game & Watch beeps and holds out his hand. It takes you a moment before you realize he’s offering a handshake.

“Uh… Nice to meet you.” Your palm just sorta touches the flat of his, and you gently curl a few fingers to grasp his hand. Not wanting to bend him or end up with a papercut, you drop your hand, hoping that was enough. The flat lad rings a bell and meanders off to do more work. You guess... you did good with that introduction?

You turn your gaze to notice R.O.B. is still looking at you expectantly. Does he want a handshake too? Tentatively, you reach out and give one of his robot arms a shake. It barely jostles when you try, but then he moves his arms up and down manually to simulate the effect. He nods and also returns to moving boxes. 

Well, that was a bit awkward. But it’s done now and we can move on, thankfully.

Or we would, if you didn’t notice the large cardboard box just a bit to your left. How long has that been there? Did the others forget about it? Shrugging it off, you decide you may as well make yourself useful and help out a bit.

“Hey guys, there’s one over here,” you call out to the conga line of robots and two-dimensional helpers. “Do you want me to carry it iiiinnn, uhhhhh…”

Your voice trails off when you look back to find the box is gone. You whirl around, looking wildly for any sign of where this box could have gone, but there’s no trace of it. 

Wow, these guys are fast movers. And sneaky.  _ Wow _ .

It takes you a few moments longer to process that yes, the box really is gone, before you force yourself to let it go and move on. Hearing your name, you look up to see Mario and Peach chatting with two other characters who have not been introduced into the narrative yet. They’re all glancing your way, so you start walking over to introduce yourself.

Had you not seen his picture beforehand, you likely wouldn’t have recognized the boy with the sword. He does not have his signature green hat and tunic, and instead is wearing blue and no hat. The woman beside him isn’t wearing the dress you expected her to be in, instead wearing an outfit more suited for horseback riding. Which was, of course, their mode of travel to your world - evident by the horses idling nearby, all blinged up in gear sporting the royal crest of their kingdom.

“You must be our host,” the elfish woman says, repeating your name the way Peach had said it. When you confirm who you are, she moves to introduce herself. “I am Zelda, princess of Hyrule. This is Link, a knight of my kingdom.”

Link offers a grunt of acknowledgement, and you reflect upon how you’ve never heard him speak during any of the Smash events you’ve attended. With all the yelling he does, you’re pretty sure it’s not because he  _ can’t _ . Perhaps he’s just a man of few words. You wonder if you’ll get to hear him talk while he’s staying here.

“We were just talking about how it’s so nice that we all get invited back every new season,” Peach informs you. Zelda smiles fondly.

“Indeed. It’s nice to take a break from day-to-day life to attend events like these. This’ll be the fourth time we’ve all been together.” The Hylian princess drops her royal aura for a moment to give Peach a grin and a childish poke. “Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do if you guys didn’t show up one year. Things definitely wouldn’t be the same!”

Peach giggles and responds with a poke of her own. “Aww! I feel the same about you guys! Remember last time, when we were worried Falcon wouldn’t make it? I like to think that after all this time, there’s no way Master Hand will stop inviting us.”

“That’s true, but you saw what happened to Nana and Popo.” Zelda lets out a sigh. “Master Hand said it was due to ‘limitations’ that arose that year, but who knows for sure?” 

The mood turns somber, and... with a  _ sick glee _ you realize these guys don’t know what this year’s roster is. It takes everything you have not to blurt it out right now - Master Hand urged you to keep it a surprise, even to the other Smashers. 

“So, uh,” you start once you’ve successfully squashed your giddy smile, moving to change the subject, “some of you guys have been part of this whole shebang since the very first tournament, right?”

You almost forgot due to how much some of the present company has changed, but yeah, you’re still in the presence of legendary superstars. 

“That’sa right!” Mario confirms, eagerly moving away from the current topic. “It was-a me and Link who were invited to the very first-a  _ Super Smash Brothers _ . None of us even knew other worlds-a existed before we got the invitations!”

You fondly remember spectating the first Smash event. The arena was so small and dingy; the stages were made of cardboard. A few of the fighters were popular among multiverse enthusiasts, but Smash put the rest of them on the map. No one could have predicted the event would get the budget and advertisement it does now. 

“Speaking of the-a original tournament…” Mario gestures to the sky, and you all look up to see more approaching flying machines. These ones are smaller than the plane, and as soon as they’re close enough to recognize, you immediately know which Smashers are piloting them. It doesn’t take long before they’re both descending slowly in front of the mansion, bellowing out a gust that rustles the grass as they hover just above the ground. The cockpits open one after another, and a familiar veteran hops out of each one.

“Fox! Falco!” Mario cries out as your little group approaches the new arrivals. Fox grins openly at the sight of his old Smash pals, while Falco rolls his eyes and shakes his head, pretending he isn’t as happy to see everyone. But he totally is. “We’re so glad you could-a make it!”

“Mario! Link!” Fox gives them both a firm handshake before giving a playful bow to the princesses. “Your majesties.” Peach giggles and curtsies back, while Zelda smiles and rolls her eyes. “Thought it would be longer before I saw you all on the battlefield again, but it seems like Master Hand had other plans, eh?”

Falco is looking directly at you, though you don’t notice until he suddenly cuts into the discussion to address you. “You new here?”

“Uh. N-No, I’m just the host. I live here.” You give him your name to finish your lame introduction. He doesn’t seem impressed, but thankfully Fox cuts in before he can comment.

“Don’t mind him. My name is Fox McCloud, this is my partner Falco Lombardi. We’re from Team Star Fox of the Lylat system. Thanks for lending out your place - we promise we won’t destroy  _ too  _ much in return.”

You try to hide how much that statement bothers you. It’s just a joke, you don’t need to worry about it! “It’s no problem. I’ve got a lot of space to offer here, so when Master Hand asked to use it I just… said okay?” Shrugging, you purposefully leave out that part of your reason for accepting is that you think  _ Super Smash Bros. _ is pretty hecking rad. No need to out yourself as an embarrassing fan.

Fox laughs at your simple response. “Well, if space is what the big guy needs, he definitely picked the right place.” He looks out at the horizon, where you imagine he had to fly past the expanse of barren fields that your realm has. You try not to feel self-conscious about it; you tried really hard to think of things to fill it with, but there was just _ too much  _ space, and you didn’t want to get attached to any landscapes you might have to change or build on.

“Hey, uh, anyways, you got anywhere we can park these?” Fox jabs a thumb towards their Arwings. “Experience has taught me that it’s not really safe to leave them out in the open.”

A bit ominous, but you assume he’s just referring to exploits in his own world. Definitely nothing to do with the recklessness of Smashers. Not way. “Uh, yeah, there’s a garage attached to the house. Or you could take them to the airport.” You gesture to each location as you mention it. “Upsizing the garage is no problem but I don’t know how cramped it’ll get after everyone gets here.”

The brown-furred pilot takes a moment to consider his options before giving you a thumbs up. “Thanks.” With that, he and Falco turn and return to their ships. You don’t see where they end up, because you have to look away once you hear someone calling your name.

“You wouldn’t happen to have somewhere we can take the horses, would you?” Zelda asks, holding her white horse by the reigns. Link is giving his own horse gratuitous pats for making it all the way here.

“Yep, there’s a stable in the back!” You gesture in that direction. The Hylian princess flashes you a smile.

“Thank you. We’ll be right back.”

“We won’t go far!” Peach promises, and the two Hylians wave a temporary farewell before they begin walking away with their royal steeds. You find yourself breathing a deep sigh when they’re out of sight.

“Is something wrong?”

A bit startled, you whirl around to face Peach again, waving away her look of concern. “Oh, no! I’m fine, just... not used to interacting with so many people.”

Peach hums, studying your expression. Mario excuses himself to go find his brother, who hasn’t reappeared since he helped Toad carry in the luggage. The princess looks like she wants to ask something, but you both are interrupted by yet another distraction from skyward.

It doesn’t take long before the orange ship lands, and you feel your heart skip a beat from excitement. Like the last, you recognize this ship easily - it belongs to an incredible bounty hunter; she’s a space hero known for single handedly wiping out intergalactic threats and saving civilizations on the brink of extinction. You can’t help but stare dumbly as an armoured figure emerges from the ship and hops down to the ground. It takes someone walking past you and calling out to the figure for your trance to be broken.

“Samus!” Peach hollers over the noise of the gunship. The armoured figure removes her helmet and reveals the fierce blonde underneath. Samus’ gaze softens at the sight of her old Smash Bros. comrade and she goes in for a casual wave, but Peach catches her off-guard by pulling her into a hug instead. The bounty hunter chuckles and gives Peach an affectionate shoulder pat.

“Hey Peachy. Long time no see, huh?”

The princess pulls away and giggles. “I don’t know about you, but  _ a lot _ has happened to me in these last couple years.” Peach links her arm with Samus’ and starts to lead her towards the mansion. “Zelda is already here - I could get Toad to brew us a nice cup of tea while I tell you all about it. And of course, you can tell me what has happened in your life too.” 

“Not sure if my life has been as exciting as either of yours lately,” Samus replies, pulling her arm away with a wry smile. “But would it kill you to let me get settled first? I’m not even out of my suit yet!” 

“Oopsie! My mistake!” Giggling again, Peach gives her a playful wave. “Go on then, we’ll catch up later! ...Oh! Before you go, you should meet our host!” 

Realizing you’re being talked about, you tense up when Peach starts looking around for you. She quickly spots you and waves you over, already giving Samus your name. You feel a bit flustered as you approach, noting how Samus looks you up and down with an unreadable expression. Once you’re close enough, the bounty hunter gives you a tight, professional smile and holds out a hand.

“Samus Aran. Pleasure to meet you.” When you shake her hand, her grasp is firm and confident. You knew she was strong - she had to be, to have been invited every single year - but feeling her armour-clad hand in yours, you’re certain she could easily flip you and beat you up mercilessly. 

“Y-You too,” you manage weakly as your heart skips another beat when you gaze upon her face. Gosh, you should probably see a doctor about that, don’tcha think? Unusual heart palpitations are no joking matter. Aran lifts a brow as an amused smile plays on her lips, and you release each others’ hands.

“So, got anywhere I can park this thing?” It takes you a moment to register that her words and head tilt are referring to her ship, so you quickly point her in the direction of both the airport and the garage. Samus responds with a quick gratified wave as she turns and jogs back to her ship. Sheesh, you don’t know what you’re so embarrassed about! Just another cool legendary hero interacting with you for two seconds, what’s the big deal??

Thankfully, we have yet another distraction from the sky to make you forget all about your inexplicable feelings.

“Is that Kirby?” Peach says, pointing at the fast approaching object that shakes you from your thoughts. The yellow-and-pink dot is moving quite erratically, leaving a trail of stars behind it. You quickly realize that it is not going to come to a calm stop, like the rest of the arrivals have thus far. 

It’s going to crash right into your home.

“H-He’s not stopping, is he?!” You’re feeling a bit panicky, trying to predict the star warrior’s trajectory, but he’s zipping around all over the place! Peach is watching right alongside you, though is noticeably unconcerned about the situation. 

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry about him. He’s surprisingly study for such a cute fellow!” 

“Oh man he’s gonna break a window or something--” Maybe you should actually worry about someone’s well being before worrying about your house, but you can’t help it as you mumble concerns to yourself and watch Kirby’s shaky flight in terror. You’re just gonna have to be smart about this - if you focus, you might be able to open a window for him to fly into. Whatever happens to the room inside will be unfortunate, but the rational part of you assures you that suddenly relocating the mansion would be foolish and not to mention  _ unpleasant  _ for the people already inside. You just need to wait for it…

Wait… and…

Now!!!

As soon as you’ve pinpointed which of the many windows Kirby is hurtling towards, you watch it fling open just in time for him to sail inside. A loud noise rings through the air when he crashes into an unknown object. You may not be in the clear yet, but you breathe a sigh of relief and give yourself a pat on the back with regards to avoiding Major Disaster A.

Time to check up on Major Disaster B.

“Goodness, how lucky that he managed to fly through an open window!” Peach is completely oblivious to the Work you just put in to save the day. You don’t really like people knowing the extent of your abilities, so you just respond with an awkward laugh as you’re backing your way to the mansion’s front doors.

“Aw geez, that  _ is  _ pretty lucky! I better go see if he’s okay!” And with that, you turn and make a mad dash to the entrance. The second you’re inside, you’re taking a shortcut to the room you know he fell in.

The aforementioned room is one of the many, many,  _ MANY  _ guest rooms you have in your home, currently reserved for all the Smashers and whoever else you may need to house. You’re thankful that nothing seems to be broken when you peek in - a chair has ended up on the other side of the room, and a few objects have fallen off the desks, but otherwise it’s fine. The pink puffball himself is lying face down on the floor, with his ride nowhere to be seen. You assume it must have exploded from the impact.

Good riddance. That means there’s a less chance of it causing another mess.

Now that you’ve made sure your beloved property is okay, you suppose you should check on the unfortunate pilot himself. Stepping further into the room, you crouch down next to the immobile blob. “Hello? Are you okay?” When there’s no response, you give him a gentle poke, and that causes the warrior to stir.

Kirby shakes off his unconsciousness and hops to his feet, looking around the room curiously. He doesn’t look hurt, you think, and although he’s clearly tougher than he looks, you’re briefly taken aback that this absolute cutie is a legendary fighter, both in  _ Smash  _ and in his own world. You definitely wouldn’t have guessed it, had you not seen him fight for yourself. 

His wandering eyes finally land on you, and he tilts his head, studying you. You offer him a bemused smile.

“Hello there.” You introduce yourself as the owner of the estate being used for this years  _ Smash Bros _ . There is no response from Kirby - he just keeps staring at you! - but then suddenly you hear a growl.

It’s his stomach.

“You hungry?” you ask when the sad sound he makes tugs your heartstrings. The puffball makes an affirmative sound, so you close your eyes and envision the first thing you can think of: the pie you had the other day. You’re worried that the food you can conjure up won’t be the same as “real” food, but Kirby’s eyes go wide as he gasps in surprise. He probably thinks you’re some food wizard now.

“Here you go!” You hold out the pie to him, and you’re taken aback at how fast he inhales it - the force of which actually has you swaying a bit. He looks positively delighted with you, and you can’t help but laugh. You wonder if you should perhaps give him something else, but Kirby turns and walks over to the bed, jumping on and sinking cozily into the mattress. Perhaps you should leave him be now.

You find yourself unable to stay mad at the little star warrior, even after he crashed into your home. He’s just so cute, and it’s not like any real damage was done. You’re walking out of the room with a smile on your face, when suddenly--

“PIKAAAAAAAA!!”

And so begins potential Major Disaster C.

A yellow blur zips by you in the corridor outside, the floor sparking in their wake. The electric mouse creature flips onto its back and starts sliding all the way down the hall on the polished floors, yelling as it goes. Before you have a chance to react, Kirby has emerged from the room behind you to see what all the noise was about, and brightens up at the sight of this Cool Floor Slide action going on. He gets a running start before diving forward, spinning and tumbling as he hollers happily.

“Be careful!” You shout, but your voice goes unheard. Kirby’s sliding sends him right into Pikachu, who lets out a cry as the puffball hits and flips over it before spinning out and finally coming to a stop. The Pokemon is instantly on all fours and glaring down Kirby, electricity emitting from its cheeks. Once Kirby regains his footing and notices, he too enters a fighting stance, a look of fierce determination on his features.

Nope, this is definitely not happening. Not under your roof.

“P-Please don’t fight!” you stammer, taken aback by how quickly this all escalated. They both look at you now, with Pikachu shooting you an annoyed look. Quickly, you amend your statement: “Well… y-you can fight, just please go outside for it. Okay?”

Pikachu lets out a noise that sounds like a scoff. Kirby just looks at you curiously. Well, at least he doesn’t look like he’s gonna start a brawl in the hall anymore.

You take a moment to smile at the rhyme that just crossed your thoughts. However, the brief mirth doesn’t last long, because your attention is quickly drawn elsewhere. Specifically: to the mass that just passed by the window outside.

Reminder: you’re not on the ground floor right now.

Rushing over to the window, you throw it open and look upwards to see Donkey Kong scaling the side of your mansion, while Diddy Kong hangs from his back. The two are conversing through a series of monkey noises, which you mentally interpret as them being satisfied with their new Smash lodgings. You would be happy to hear this in almost any other situation.

“H-Hey! Get down from--” And once again, you are interrupted by another crazy occurrence, this time from inside the building. (You decide to ignore the game of bumper cars going on with the golf carts outside for now, because aw heck, you do that all the time.) You whip your head around to face the direction the scream came from, and you spot Luigi down the hall with his hand on a doorknob. His person is comically burnt and smoking, and he seems to be frozen in place. The hypothetical audience laughs at this cartoon-like situation.

“Luigi!” You rush down the hall, ignoring the way Pikachu is laughing hysterically at the scene. You notice that Kirby has suddenly vanished, and you file that away as just another thing you’re going to have to worry about after you’re done here. But first: “Are you alright?? What happened?”

“...the door… it-a shocked me-a.” 

Speechless, you have to suppress a sigh as you turn your head to give the still-laughing Pikachu a dirty look. It just sticks its tongue out at you before dashing off and around the corner. You consider chasing after the little troublemaker, but your sense of compassion overwhelms your sense of justice and you find yourself turning back to the younger Mario brother.

“Mario was looking for you earlier. Have you been carrying luggage around all this time?” You didn’t fail to notice the bags Luigi had with him, although now that you’re getting a closer look, you don’t think they’re the same ones that Peach and the brothers arrived with.

“I-a finished with our stuff,” Luigi explains, moving to pick up the bags he dropped. You take pity on him and grab it for him. “Oh, you-a… don’t need to do that. Luigi can handle it.”

“It’s not a problem,” you assure. “You were saying? If this isn’t yours, then who’s is it?”

“It’sa Marth’s. I-a met him down in the-a lobby.”

“And he enlisted you to help him?”

Luigi lets out an awkward laugh, confirming your deduction. After making sure there was no more static on the door, you open it for him and the two of you carry the bags inside. Geez, the Altean prince sure didn’t travel light! Did he bring someone with him? There’s no way all these bags belong to one person, right? 

“Alright, I guess I’m gonna go say hi to Marth real quick,” you say to Luigi once you’re back in the hall. Thankfully, there’s no one sliding around or causing destruction to greet you. “You should go get some rest - you look really tired. I imagine it’s been a long day for you.”

Amusingly, you watch Luigi’s face tint pink. He must have not noticed how obvious his weariness is. “Th-Thanks… uh…”

And he awkwardly scurries off. What a funny guy. Well, you can be relieved that he doesn’t seem like the type to cause trouble. You’re hoping all the craziness will die down after everyone gets settled in. Maybe it’s the buzz of a new Smash tournament and seeing everyone again that has everyone all excited. Yep, that’s definitely got to be it. No way these guys are always going to be like this.

No way your home is gonna get  _ smashed  _ bit by bit until there’s nothing left but rubble. No way you made a  _ terrible mistake _ signing that contract.

…

You take a few deep breaths while you have this moment of calm all to yourself, before you pop yourself back to the ground floor. You recognize Prince Marth pretty quickly - it looks like he’s somehow got a R.O.B. helping him carry stuff around.

“Hold on, you have  _ more  _ stuff?!” you blurt out, before he’s even aware of your presence. Hearing you, he turns and gives you a quick look up and down before speaking.

“Ah, would you happen to be the housekeeper? You’re just in time - I need the rest of this carried to my room.”

He gestures to the pile and… wait, did he just mistake you for some common... maid?? Is that what you look like right now? What, has he been waiting for a butler to show up and take his things, instead of  _ carrying them himself _ ? Nah fam, you’re not down to clown with this. 

“Actually, I’m the owner of this estate,” you reply matter-of-factly, and then introduce yourself to him. Marth is taken aback and actually gives you a small bow of respect, which admittedly softens the previous blow you just experienced.

“My sincerest apologies - that was a terribly rude assumption to make. I just figured…” He trails off, before shaking his head and offering you a warm smile. “I didn’t imagine I’d meet the Lord of such a grand domain so soon! I am Prince Marth - I hail from the kingdom of Altea. It’s an honour to make your acquaintance.”

Okay, he’s been pretty successful at buttering you up. You decide he’s not so bad after all. “Not sure I’d call myself a ‘Lord’, but it’s nice to meet you too. Can I just call you Marth?”

He raises a brow, clearly amused by your informalness. “Certainly.”

“Cool. So Marth, what’s with all the stuff?”

The Altean prince laughs at your question, then picks up one of the bags. “Oh, you know… You can never be too prepared when it comes to battle.” 

“I… guess not,” you concede. They  _ are  _ going to be here for months - if not years, depending on what Master Hand is planning - so it could make sense to bring as much as possible, even if the Smashers are allowed to take trips home. Thinking about it, you don’t remember the likes of Kirby bringing anything with them. Maybe Marth isn’t the one whose packing habits should be questioned. 

“Well, since you are  _ not  _ the housekeeper, I suppose I should start carrying these bags myself, shouldn’t I?” He gives you a cheesy grin as he says this, which makes you laugh. There’s a R.O.B. waiting beside him that has managed to load almost everything onto its body. 

“Aw, well, even though I’m not the cute maid you were waiting for, I’ll still h--”

And it happens again. Now, this is just getting ridiculous and borderline predictable. How many times are you going to get interrupted today?!

The flavour of the moment comes in the form of someone  _ kicking your front door open _ and proceeding to do a bunch of crazy flips into the lobby before striking a pose. We drop the pretense of this being a mysterious intruder, and instead tell you right off the bat that it is Captain Falcon.

“Captain Falcon,” Marth greets drily, looking a mixture of bemused and ‘ _ I don’t know if I’m ready to deal with this yet _ ’. You agree with the sentiment completely. “I see you’re earlier than last year.”

“Marth! My man!” Falcon comes over and gives the prince a very bro-like handshake, which Marth looks like he doesn’t want any part of. “Heh, well, you know me.” The face that Marth makes implies that he, in fact, does not know Captain Falcon as well as the man himself thinks. Falcon turns to you next, looking at you appraisingly. 

“Who’s this? New blood?”

Before you can answer, Marth does so for you. “The maid--  _ I mean! _ Our host. Owner of this realm.” You watch the prince’s face turn pink from his slip-up. Oh, so he actually caught what you said before. You give him a questioning smile, and he pointedly looks away from you.

“The maid  _ and  _ the landlord?” Falcon doesn’t seem to notice the exchange between you both, and instead grips your hand in a similar intense handshake that almost knocks you off your feet. “I like it! You’re the type to get things done yourself and not rely on others. I can respect that.”

“Thanks?” You’re not sure how you feel about him thinking you’re a maid, or about his (admittedly accurate) assessment of you, but you’re suddenly too overwhelmed to correct him. His entrance was a lot to take in, and now he’s got you strong armed into a handshake? You might need to sit down for a moment.

Thankfully, the lord of contrivance hears you! You somehow don’t see the little blighter coming until it’s too late - Pikachu runs up to you and starts darting around your legs, and you end up tripping over him while trying to get out of the way. You’re unable to catch yourself in time, and you start falling--

\--and then you’re not, because you’ve been expertly caught by the man who already had been holding you with his intense handshake. It takes you a moment to realize what just happened as you look up at Falcon’s face in a daze. You suddenly are reminded of when you mess with your statues, pretending to swoon over them and imagining them catching you in their big strong arms.

Except this is not a statue. This is a  _ real person _ .

“You okay, sweetheart?”

“Uhhhhhhhhhh--” You feel your face heat up as you scramble upright, putting a few steps between the two of you for good measure. Captain Falcon is flashing you an easy grin, while Pikachu is cackling wildly in the background. You take a peek at Marth and notice he is frowning with a blush on his face - likely embarrassed that he had to see such a pathetic display. You can’t believe that just happened!

“I’m fine,” you squeak out, feeling mortified and already making your way to the door. “I-I’m gonna see if anyone else is here!!” You’re almost running by the time you’ve made it outside, exhaling deeply and groaning with humiliation when you hear the door shut behind you. 

Well, good to know there are already some Smashers you can never look in the eye again.

This time, you are deeply thankful for the next distraction.

Outside, it seems everyone has finished parking their horses or whatever because there’s a little group gathered out here. There’s Mario, Peach, Link, Zelda, Samus, Fox, Falco, and…

It seems you are meeting your first roster newcomer today.

“Are you guys the Inklings?” you ask as you approach the crowd, squeezing between Samus and Fox so you can get a good look at them. There’s two of them - male and female; blue and orange - and they look just the right mix of awed and nervous. The girl squidkid brightens up when you refer to them by their name and nods vigorously. 

“Well it’s great to have you both here!” You smile and give them your name before gesturing to the mansion behind you. “I own the place you guys will be staying in, so if you ever need anything, you can ask me, okay?”

They both grin and nod at you before babbling excitedly with each other about the size of the mansion. You can’t help but mimic their grins of enthusiasm, but your expression drops when you notice the others staring at you.

“...What?”

Peach calls your name in a singsong voice that has you focusing on her, and you feel dread when you notice her mischievous smile. “So, that means you already know the roster then?”

“Uh…”

“Oh, you MUST tell us!” Zelda insists, latching onto your arm with a similar smile. “Is Palutena coming back? She was  _ so  _ much fun at parties.”

“What about the Ice Climbers?” Peach asks. “I was so sad they couldn’t make it last year - things weren’t the same without them.”

“How about Bayonetta? She didn’t get to spend much time with us last time, so I’d love to get to know her better.”

“Shulk? Is he coming back?”

“What about Roy? Mewtwo? Wolf?”

“Ugh, don’t let HIM come back!”

“Are they finally going to cut Jigglypuff?”

“What about-a Doctor Mario? I hear he’sa very popular and-a handsome.”

“Will  _ Ridley  _ finally be part of the tournament? I think Master Hand could definitely scale him down--”

“Whoa, slow down you guys.” Thankfully, Samus interjects for you while you’re still reeling from the onslaught of questions. “You  _ know  _ Master Hand likes to keep this stuff secret. Just be patient - I’m sure everyone will be here in no time.”

“Oh, but Samus!” Latching onto Samus’ arm, Peach gives the bounty hunter a pout. “Wouldn’t it be exciting if another fighter from your world came to join us? Wouldn’t you want to know who it could possibly be?”

“...Not really, no.”

“Alright, fine,” Falco interjects, “but can you at least tell us if there’s going to be any other kids joining?” He not-so-subtly gestures to the Inklings, who have been watching the conversation curiously. “Doesn’t anyone else think it’s weird that Master Hand keeps inviting them?”

“Aw, buddy,” Fox drawls, putting a hand on his teammate’s shoulder. Falco promptly swats it off. “Tired of getting your butt kicked by psychic kids and little monkeys?” 

“That’s--!” Falco huffs and crosses his arms, pointedly facing away from the group. 

“I think it’ll be fun with these two around,” Samus says, crouching down to the Inklings’ level. “Look, they have weapons. May I?”

The two Inklings look at each other and shrug before the blue one hands Samus his Splattershot. The bounty hunter stands upright and turns the weapon over in her hands, analyzing it. The others crowd a bit closer for a peek.

“...It-a looks like a water gun.”

“I think it’s  _ paint _ , actually,” Fox says. Falco rolls his eyes.

“Ohhhh, it’s paint, huh? Well that changes everything!” The birdman throws his arms up in the air. “C’mon, what good is that gonna do them?!”

“Why don’t we find out?”

With a devilish smile, Samus turns the nozzle towards Falco and fires. Blue ink jetstreams out and hits Falco dead in the chest, causing him to squawk and stumble back a bit.

“Al-Alright! That’s enough!!” He’s trying so hard to block the ink with his hands, but it’s just rebounding and splattering everywhere. Samus’ grin remains manic, while everyone else is laughing - yourself included, as much as you try and hold it back. She keeps spraying him until the tank is empty, then takes a moment to admire her work.

“You look great, Falco. About time you had a makeover.”

The bird pilot squawks angrily as he tries to shake the ink off, but it’s proving to be incredibly resilient. Samus chuckles and hands the gun back to the blue Inkling, who’s grinning and bouncing with excitement. As soon as the Splattershot is back in his hands, he morphs and disappears into a blue puddle of ink at his feet.

“Whoa! Where’d he go?” Fox asks. Meanwhile, the orange Inkling is showing Mario, Peach, Link, and Zelda their other weapons. 

“They’re kids that can turn into squids,” you explain, recalling what you read about them. “They have the ability to swim in ink that matches their own colour - which also gives them a refill.”

As if on cue, Blue Inkling pops back out of the ground with a full ink tank and offers the gun to Samus again. She returns his smile and reaches out to take it again.

“For me? Well, if you insist--”

“I think that’s enough of a demonstration!” Falco yells. Samus takes pity on him and returns the Splattershot to its owner with a chuckle. No one moves to help the blue bird as he grumbles, having trouble moving in the ink.

“Need some help, pal?” Fox asks, and Falco shoots him a glare. 

“What do they need all these weapons for?” you hear Peach ask. She’s holding a Roller with a frown, while Link and Mario are analyzing an Inkbrush and Slosher respectively. Zelda seems to have gotten her hands on a Mini Splatling. “Are they… in a war?”

“I guess so?” you answer. “I think they have to fight a species of creatures called the Octarians for territory… but I read that Inklings also just like to compete with each other for fun.”

“Either way,  _ I _ think they’re cool,” Samus says, and you wonder how much of that is because she got to splat Falco. “I look forward to facing them on the battlefield.”

Admittedly, you look forward to seeing what they can do too. Master Hand is incredibly skilled at finding unique fighters, and these Inklings are no exception. You can’t wait to see how they shake up the tournament. 

Speaking of the tournament and the other fighters...

“Hey, do either of you guys have a weapon that can hit someone really far away?” The Inklings look at each other with your question, and then the orange one pulls out a Charger and offers it to you. You accept it with glee. “Thanks.”

You’re going to have to clean up the ink later, but  _ gosh dang _ it’s better than letting monkeys climb all over your house and chip the outer walls.

Spotting the Donkey and Diddy pair chilling on top of the roof of the highest tower and sharing some bananas, you take aim.


	4. Making Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some more Smashers arrive. You end up making plans. So many plans.

The next day, you have to pinch yourself to make sure you’re awake when you hear noises outside.

The whole  _ Smash Bros. _ thing feels like it was a dream, and yet you awaken to living proof that it was all real. You don’t feel as well rested as usual - perhaps due to the rocky transition to your new hectic life that you suffered yesterday - but your unusual exhaustion doesn’t stop you from maneuvering on your bed so you can grab your penguin plush and just squeal with glee. Mr. Penguin, you get a hug today. What?? You feel left out, Mr. Bandicoot? And you too, Mr. Skeleton? Oh alright, everyone can have a hug. You have enough to go around!

Hopping off the bed, you approach the window and look outside. Ignoring the ever-present ominous clouds, you can’t help but smile at what you see down below. Looks like Jigglypuff arrived, and Pikachu is running circles around it with a stolen hat. Make that  _ two  _ stolen hats - you see Jigglypuff’s sunhat in it’s mouth, while you’re pretty sure that’s Luigi’s cap on its head. The pink Pokemon is all puffed up and angry, yelling at the yellow mouse to give it back. Somehow, you don’t think it’s going to work.

Shaking your head, you turn away from the window and get ready for the day. You feel much more relaxed today than you did yesterday, and there’s really no rush to get out there, so you take your time and bask in the peace and quiet. Having people in your universe is  _ fantastic _ , but you may have bitten off more than you could chew. You should have started with like…  _ one  _ person, maaaybe two. Not the entire  _ Smash  _ roster. 

You’re just thankful they didn’t all arrive at the same time.

Master Hand told you that the first day was going to the the busiest in terms of arrivals. A lot of people make their way over as soon as they get the invitation - assumedly because they can’t contain their excitement. But others take their time, or finish up whatever quest they’re doing in their own universe first. After all, the only requirement is to be there when the tournament starts. 

You weren’t sure if you hoped everyone would arrive earlier or not. On one hand, that’s more time you get to spend with these far-off strangers, and on the other…

Distantly, you hear a  _ thud  _ from somewhere in the mansion.

...ah, yes. Less of that, please. That would just be  _ extraordinary _ . 

With a heavy sigh, you wave goodbye to the contents of your room as you walk out the door and close it behind you. The corridor before you is just a hallway that leads to a dead end - you figured your room would be  _ safer  _ if it was disconnected from the rest of the building. You’ve stuffed some priceless works of art and literature in here as well, juuuust in case. The only way someone could get into this part of the mansion would be if they climbed through the window in your room. Or if they could teleport.

You pray that  _ certain Smashers _ aren’t prone to snooping. Your home has like a billion rooms and a billion windows though, so you like to think the odds of someone stumbling upon this part of the mansion are pretty low. At least, you  _ hope  _ so.

With another sigh, you warp yourself to another wing of the building.

The second you land, someone yelps and you realize too late that you just popped into existence right in the middle of the hallway. You’re going to have to break that habit now that you have company here, lest you spook  _ even more _ unfortunate bystanders. This isn’t even someone you’ve met yet! What a horrible first impression you’ve given them!

“I’m sorry!” you start, raising your empty palms to signal that you’re harmless. The boy you startled is blond and wearing a red vest - oh, this is Shulk! About time you started meeting some more recent veterans. “I should’ve… been looking where I was going.”

“N-No, that’s okay,” Shulk responds, trying to cover up how much you scared him. It is not working - he still looks rattled. “I should have expected something like that to happen. Wouldn’t be the first time.”

Lowering your hands, you can’t help but give a questioning smile. “Does this happen to you a lot?”

“Only here. At the Smash event, I mean.” He seems more relaxed now, although he makes a face at a memory that’s clearly agitating him. “Some of the others can teleport or disappear and… you’d think they were making a game out of it, just popping up and scaring people--”

He stops himself, embarrassed that he’s rambling. “Sorry. My name’s Shulk. And you are…?”

You oblige the prompt and give him your name, as well as the fact that you’re the owner of this estate. The boy looks surprised and opens his mouth to comment further, but you quickly approach him and sling an arm over his shoulder to pull him close, speaking in a hushed tone.

“So like, these teleporting jerks… How likely is it for any of them to do something…  _ nefarious _ ?” 

You recall your earlier concerns regarding your room. Who better to ask than the nerd who probably got picked on by all the tough magical guys? 

“Um… I-I’m not sure I understand.”

“What would be the likelihood of them snooping in places they don’t belong?”

“Oh! Um…” You watch as his gaze wanders away from yours as he thinks. “...probable?”

“Agh!” You release him and perform a dramatic finger snap to express your displeasure. That was a totally undesirable answer. You’re gonna have to come up with some safety precautions. When you look back up at him, he just looks very confused. Poor guy - he has no idea what you’re planning. So many plans. All for the sake of keeping your beloved home from going up in flames.

“Welp, I better go see if anyone else has arrived!” you announce completely casually, and perhaps a bit too loud considering you’re supposed to only be talking to a single person. “It was nice meeting you, Shulk! Don’t tell anybody about my secret treasure hoard in the basement!”

You shoot his still-confused expression a double pistol and a wink before vanishing before his eyes.

And now you’re outside.

Pretty much immediately you spot Pikachu lying on the gravel. You  _ almost  _ rush over to it in concern, but you’re stopped when it stretches out and makes a frustrated groan. Ohhh, it’s probably just angry that Jigglypuff (you assume) managed to take the hats away. Well, you’re just going to leave sleeping rats lie then. You turn 180 degrees and start walking in the opposite direction, following the mansion’s outer walls. 

You and your immense paranoia admittedly were thinking about barricading your bedroom window somehow, which is why you came outside, but you don’t know how to do it without making it suspicious.  _ And  _ you still want to be able to see outside. Maybe you’ll meet a Smasher that knows a thing about fake-but-not-really windows? Is that too much to ask for? Then again, if you had someone like that, they might see through your trick and tell everyone else you had a big ol’ secret up there--

A rift opens up a few paces ahead of you, ripping a  _ scream  _ from your throat as you jump out of the way when something comes barrelling out.

Okay, make that some _ one _ . Someone very small. You just got startled by a kid - good job! This is probably karma for what happened with Shulk. 

You’re glad this kid sped out along the gravel rather than the grass, because the speed he was going (or maybe the ability he was using) leaves behind a thin trail of flames. A small breeze picks up to blow them out, but the pebbles below are still blackened. Your heart is still hammering in your chest when you follow the trail to the end and spot a kid in a striped shirt and a baseball cap.

PSI energy having the ability to travel through spacetime shouldn’t be surprising to you - didn’t PSI come from aliens, after all? - but you’re admittedly impressed. Ness dusts himself off and adjusts his backpack, and that’s when he notices you standing there and staring at him.

He blinks.

You offer him a double thumbs up and a smile. The boy returns the gesture before turning around and following the outer wall of the mansion, liking looking for an entrance.

Now, back to what you were doing before. ...What  _ were  _ you doing before? You feel like it was important, but you’ve just plum forgotten after all that excitement! Oh well, probably wasn’t  _ that  _ important. You shrug it off and decide to just follow Ness to the entrance, lest one of your “shortcuts” give someone else a heart attack.

When you round the corner to reach the front of the mansion, you spot Ness has stopped to give Pikachu some pets, which the electric Pokemon is happily soaking up. Ness gets up to leave, and as soon as his back is turned, Pikachu’s smile spreads into a wicked grin and it makes a leap to the boy’s head -  _ totally  _ intending to steal his hat. You’re absolutely  _ enthralled  _ when Ness ducks down, letting the troublemaker sail over his head and eat dirt. 

As Pikachu groans against the gravel, Ness smiles and waves at it before jogging inside the mansion. 

“Better luck next time?” you tease, stopping beside the rodent as it sits up and frumps. Pikachu shoots you a glare and an annoyed grumble before it gets up and runs off to the endless fields around your property. With a laugh, you decide to let it go and head inside. 

Here in the building’s lobby, you spot Link exiting one of the side rooms. The hero of Hyrule smiles in greeting, and you can’t help but smile back. Perhaps you should take this time to get to know him - maybe he’ll even talk to you! Just as you’ve decided you’re going to approach him, something stops you dead in your tracks.

Rounding the corner behind Link is someone you’ve been hoping to avoid today (and perhaps forever). The embarrassing incident from yesterday is still fresh in your mind, and just the resurfacing memory alone brings a heat to your face. 

Captain Falcon gives you a grin and a wave. Link hasn’t noticed him yet. 

You turn 180 degrees... and start sprinting down the corridor behind you, missing the shocked and confused expressions both of them wore. You just can’t deal with this right now. You need time to  _ heal _ . And also maybe a memory wipe for everyone involved.

You’re not paying attention to where you are going when you finally fling over a door and loudly shut it behind you. Leaning against it to catch your breath (and also prevent any potential  _ pursuers  _ from breaking in), you think about the absolute  _ crisis  _ you just avoided. Yep, you definitely made the right move high-tailing it out of there. What’s that? Maybe you shouldn’t run away from your problems? That’s just ridiculous! What were you supposed to do - start having a heart-to-heart about your  _ feelings _ ? Absurd! Perish the thought!

You’re brought out of your internal dialogue when you realize you are not alone in this room. You’ve wound up in the banquet hall, which is  _ almost  _ as empty as it usually is, but there is one person eating here today.

This person is Luigi, who was in the middle of eating a bowl of cereal when you came in. He’s staring at you like you’re a ghost - the noise you made when you came in must have given him quite the shock. There is a splatter of milk on the table. Suddenly, this is incredibly awkward.

“..... _ eyyyyy _ ,” you vocalize, making finger guns at him as you shuffle across the room before running the rest of the way to the kitchen. He says nothing to you, which you are grateful for, even if he does still seem a little spooked. You’ll have to apologize later. 

Who’s next to see you make a fool out of yourself? 

You’re a bit taken aback when you enter the kitchen - there are boxes  _ everywhere _ . Real food for your real guests, perhaps? It’s not often that you get to eat “real” food, so you’re kind of curious regarding what stuff they’ve got here. You’re about to start poking around the boxes when you hear shuffling from across the room. It looks like Kirby had a similar idea to you, and is trying to get one of the boxes open. Unfortunately, it looks like they’re taped up real good, so he’s not having any luck. You decide to take pity on him.

“Feeling hungry?” you ask as you approach, and you can’t help but smile when you see his frown turn upside-down at the sight of you. The Food Wizard is here, ready to lend aid to the needy and the helpless.

Of course, you  _ know  _ that giving the pink puffball access to all the real food stored inside these boxes would be a bad idea. So you approach the fridge, envision something you  _ think  _ will be filling enough, and open it to find an immaculate turkey dinner. 

You notice that there’s nothing else inside the fridge, which leads you to believe that Kirby may have already eaten today.

There’s nothing you can do about it now however, because as soon as Kirby sees the cooked turkey, he’s inhaled it within seconds. Somehow the plate is spared, and it clatters onto the floor, not a speck of food on it. You watch as Kirby closes the fridge and opens it again, his face falling in disappointment when nothing new has appeared. You like seeing him happy, but you worry you’re gonna be here all day conjuring up food for him, so maybe you should leave him be…

You turn just in time to see Donkey and Diddy Kong entering the kitchen. You have to hide your smile behind a hand when you see they still have an orange tint to to their fur. You’re  _ pretty sure  _ they don’t know you were the one behind the ink attack - you had thrown the weapon at Falco or someone the  _ second  _ you were sure you hit the pair of primates and booked it back inside. You’re not so sure about what happened after that, but there had been a  _ huge  _ mess of orange and blue ink outside the mansion and footprints through the halls. You cleaned it all up in the middle of the night.

You watch as the two monkeys start sniffing the sealed boxes, prodding at them as if it would help identify the contents. Soon enough, DK lets out a triumphant ape noise and hoists one of the larger boxes onto his shoulders before dashing out of the room. Diddy claps excitedly, before looking around for something he can grab too. He’s abandoned the prospect of taking a meager smaller box when he’s approached one of the larger ones - which seems to be overturned - crouching down to lift it up curiously.

“Hey, I think you two have enough! Shoo!” You cross the room to swat the chimp away, and he makes an annoyed sound before running off as well. Sheesh, it’s a wonder there’s even any food left at all at this rate. Speaking of food thieves…

You turn to see Kirby peeking into a hole in the box that Diddy just tried to grab. You should probably lead the little puffball out of the kitchen before he manages to open any of these boxes. 

“Kirby? Do you wanna, uh…” He’s not paying attention to you. Geez, what’s in that box? “Do you wanna go see what the others are up to? I bet one of them has food.”

As expected, the word “food” seems to do the trick, and Kirby turns to follow you out the kitchen - but not without one last look back at the box. You have to stop and call his name before he catches up to you. You give Luigi a wave as you leave, and he actually gives you an awkward smile and a wave back as he heads into the kitchen to clean his dishes.

When you and Kirby have left the banquet hall, there is no one around to hear the crash in the kitchen and the cry for help.

Unfamiliar voices bring you to the foyer, with Kirby still following alongside you. You admit, you’re amazed he hasn’t run off to pursue some other distraction. Nonetheless, once you’ve made sure that  _ certain people _ aren’t still hanging around the area, you move to join Peach and the two newly arrived Smashers.

“Lucina and Robin, right?” you confirm, then proceeding to introduce yourself to the two swordswomen. The silver-haired tactician offers a warm smile, while Lucina gives you a polite bow - then her formal demeanour just seems to melt away after Kirby gives his own excited greeting. You’re glad you’re apparently not the only one who can’t resist how cute he is, no matter how much trouble he causes.

“This is a lovely place you have here,” Robin says as Lucina is giving Kirby a friendly pat on the head. “I hope no one has caused you too much trouble yet.”

“Oh no, everything has been… fine.” You accidentally find yourself hesitating on the last word. The glint in Robin’s eye tells you that she caught it, but Peach speaks before the tactician can get a word in.

“We’ve just had the usual first day troubles, but it hasn’t been anything our host couldn’t handle!” There’s a mischievous smile on her features, and somehow you just  _ know  _ she’s thinking about how you sniped DK and Diddy off your roof. You’re suddenly a bit guilty and hope she wasn’t caught in the resulting crossfire, but her appearance looks as immaculate as yesterday, so you honestly can’t tell if she got involved or not. “I think we’ll all be able to get along just  _ peachy _ .”

Robin acknowledges the pun with a snort before glancing at you, clearly appraising you. “You think so? ...Well, I suppose things are already going smoother than they did with the last host.”

You’ve briefly spared moments to think about how previous landowners and sponsors may have handled some of the more  _ rambunctious  _ Smashers, but not much. Now that the opportunity presents itself, your curiosity is reignited. “What happened last time?”

“Oh, nothing much~!” Peach claims, though from her tone you’re pretty sure it was a bit more than  _ nothing _ . “They were just a bit, umm… restrictive?”

“More like  _ overbearing _ ,” comes a new voice, and you turn to see Fox approaching. He’s holding a paper bag. “Hey you two. Cool to see ya made it back.”

“It’s great to  _ be  _ back,” Robin agrees, “especially since it looks like we’ll have a lot more  _ fun  _ this time around. Maybe we’ll finally get to experience that ‘ _ authentic Smash Bros. experience _ ’ you guys were always going on about?”

Fox shrugs. “Heh, hope so. But Master Hand hasn’t given us an itinerary or anything yet, so who knows what we’re going to be doing?” He pauses and gives you a look. “Unless… you already know?”

“Not at all,” you answer truthfully. “All I know is who’s supposed to show up. Nothing about any actual tournament plans. I haven’t even been told if they’re gonna build anything on the property yet.”

“Wait, you know who’s going to be joining us?” Lucina asks, clearly trying to reign in her anticipation. “Is… Is the Hero-King Marth joining this time as well?”

Against your will, the scene from yesterday where Marth mistook you for a maid and then bore witness to you falling into Captain Falcon’s arms replays in your head. You try not to let the embarrassment of the memory show on your features. “Uh, he’s already here, actually. Arrived yesterday.”

Lucina thankfully doesn’t notice your distress (though you can’t say the same for the others, who seem various amounts of puzzled and curious) as her eyes light up and she continues her questioning, reminding you of how the others had been yesterday. “Really? How about the Radiant Hero, Ike? And Roy-- and  _ Corrin _ ? What about--”

“Relax Lucina, I’m sure our paths will cross with theirs again soon enough,” Robin says, bemused. Lucina seems to realize she was getting overexcited and makes an awkward hum, her face turning pink. 

“No point in asking anyways,” Fox says. “We’ve already tried, but our host’s lips are sealed. That reminds me--”

The pilot reaches into the paper bag he’s been holding and pulls out an oddly shaped pink fruit that you don’t recognize. He holds it out to Kirby, who starts bouncing in joy at the sight of it. “Just got back from a flight - found this thing while I was out there. Thought you’d like it, buddy.”

The little puffball makes a sound of gratitude and opens his mouth to inhale it-- but what’s this?! A long red tongue seems to come from nowhere and yoinks the fruit right out of Fox’s hands. Kirby watches in horror as the tongue retracts to its owner, and the fruit is swallowed in one gulp.

“Yoshi!” The green dino notes how  _ delicious  _ that fruit was, completely oblivious to the stunned silence from the other side of the room. Kirby falls to the ground in despair, making a sad wail. You feel sorry for a moment, but then suddenly he stops and jumps to his feet with a fierce determination in his eyes. Before you can say anything, Kirby yells and dashes towards Yoshi, who spots him coming and starts running away… sending them both further into the mansion. 

“Uh… will they be okay?” you ask, trying to stop yourself from imagining the two getting into a brawl and breaking something. Unfortunately, as everyone knows: if you are trying not to think about something, you most definitely will think about it. And what you are visualizing is  _ total destruction _ .

“Oh, this happens all the time,” Peach assures you, and you notice that Lucina seems to be the only one who seems mildly concerned - the other three just look amused. “Just a little fighting between friends~!”

“Our host last time tried to ration out meals evenly because of them,” Fox says, and you remember what you all had been talking about moments ago. “It totally sucked, but we had fun gambling with them when the host wasn’t looking.”

“That just gave us something new to fight over when we found out Pit was  _ cheating  _ to stay stocked up on his supply of Oreos,” Robin recalls fondly. Fox groans.

“Oh man, I remember that. And he had the gall to claim that Palutena told him to do it. Never knew the kid had it in him.”

“Oh yes, that was certainly inexcusable of him.”

“Couldn’t agree more. Can’t imagine what possessed him to say that.”

The secretive smiles on Peach and Robin’s faces seem to imply that there’s more to this story than Fox knew about. 

“Well, I uh… definitely wouldn’t control the food like that,” you say, even though a piece of you wishes it was something you thought of. But it seems like it would have been futile and caused more friction anyways, so perhaps it’s best that you didn’t.

“I should ask…” Robin starts, her smile fading to something you can’t quite read, “... _ are _ there any particular rules we should know about while we’re staying here?” And the smile comes back. “Any places we shouldn’t enter?”

“Uhhhhh…” You think of the  _ everything  _ in your home that you don’t want to get damaged. But would it be redundant to make ‘don’t break stuff’ a rule? Surely that’s something they would all refrain from doing anyways, right? Hearing about how their previous host had been, you’re compelled to be different than they had been… even if it might be to the detriment of your estate.

So you choke out: “Not… really? I-I mean, preferrably I’d like my house to be still standing once you all leave but, uh… you can go wherever and do whatever you want I guess? I feel like trying to force rules on you guys would be pointless.” 

How many Smashers believe in the mantra _ “rules are meant to be broken” _ ?

“Duly noted. We’ll make sure at least one room is still standing when we’re done here.” The look on your face must resemble something along the lines of  _ horror _ , because Robin laughs. “I’m kidding! I’d hate to see any antiques or family heirlooms get destroyed. I know how important that stuff can be. I’ll be sure Lucina doesn’t break any vases, or cut down any forests.”

“Mother!” The girl in question looks absolutely  _ appalled _ , and her face once again turns a shade of pink. “That… That was just one time! I assure you it will never happen again.”

You don’t have a forest on your property (currently, at least) so that little tidbit doesn’t strike fear into your little heart. You could continue the conversation with some teasing, but a certain other tidbit - one you hadn’t known about from all your reading - is brought to your attention.

“You two are related?”

Robin quirks her head, smiling curiously. “Yes, she is my daughter. Can’t you tell?”

You honestly can’t, as you look between them. You knew of Lucina’s father, but for some reason information about her mother was difficult to come by. Most sources were inconsistent and thus unreliable. Robin lets out another laugh in your silence.

“Don’t worry about it - I know she gets most of her looks from her father.”

“That’s not true…” Lucina tries to refute the statement, but it’s clear that even  _ she  _ has some trouble pointing out any similarities. You decide to change the subject to something you’ve been wondering for awhile.

“Wasn’t there another Robin at the tournament last time?” And you remember seeing that male Robin on the roster as well, sharing a page with the version standing before you. Several other Smashers had similar pages, and while you could guess their relationships, you still wanted to ask. “So what’s uh… the deal with that?”

“Oh, he’s just a Robin from another universe,” this Robin replies, apparently unfazed by having interacted with an alternate version of herself. “From what I gathered, we pretty much had the same life, except I married and he didn’t. I’ve never met her, but I’m sure the Lucina from his universe is just as wonderful as the one from mine.”

“Mother!” The parental embarrassment strikes again! You have to imagine there was confusion when the two Robins and Lucina met at the last tournament. You also have to imagine it brought confusion to the other Smashers and was the source of many misunderstandings. Speaking of…

“So do you two go by different names, or does everyone still call you both Robin? And is it the same for other Smashers who have counterparts like you?”

Robin just shrugs. “We never really came up with nicknames for ourselves. Most people just called us both Robin. It’s usually the same for the others in similar situations.”

Well. That certainly won’t get confusing. 

“It’s not so bad,” Peach says. “We never have everyone in the same place anyways, so it’s less of a problem than you’d think!”

“I guess that’s true,” you concede. Your property is so big - really, what are the odds of two people with the same name being in the same location at the same time? Outside of the tournament, it’ll probably never happen. 

“Oh! I just remembered!” Peach turns to Lucina with an excited smile. “We were going to bake together last time, but then the host banned us from the kitchen. But now we don’t have to worry about that anymore!”

“I completely forgot we talked about that,” Lucina admits, though smiling at the prospect. “I would be honoured if we baked something together.”

“Oh man, it feels like it’s been  _ forever  _ since I had one of your cakes, Peach,” Fox says, patting his stomach. “Great timing too, since I won’t have to worry about not getting a slice while our numbers are still small. ...As long as Kirby, Yoshi, or Pikachu don’t get to it first.”

Peach giggles. “Don’t worry, we’ll be sure to make  _ lots _ ! In fact, I should go buy ingredients today, so we can start tomorrow!”

“Mind if I join you?” Robin asks. “I haven’t been to the Mushroom Kingdom in so long; I’d love to visit it again.”

“Of course! You can help me decide what we’re going to make!” Suddenly, Peach turns to look at you. “Would you like to come with us?”

“Me? Uh…”

Going for a stroll and doing something mundane like  _ shopping  _ has never really been a thing you do. When you leave your realm, it’s usually for something  _ big _ . And the idea of leaving a bunch of rowdy near-strangers at your home - without your supervision! - makes panic bubble and rise inside you. So you decline as politely as you can, and Peach frowns so hard that you feel bad anyways.

“Aww! Well, you’ll help us bake tomorrow at least, won’t you?”

She bats her eyes at you pleadingly, and golly, how can you say no?? You  _ are  _ interested in actually learning how to cook - maybe it’ll be more fun if you’re doing it with other people!

“Yeah, of course I will.”

“Yay!” The princess gives you a sudden hug, which briefly takes you by surprise. She’s already pulled away before you can react. “When we get back, I’ll see if anyone else wants to join us - the more the merrier, after all! See you soon~!”

You, Fox, and Lucina wave goodbye to Peach and Robin as they head outside. The three of you continue to chat for awhile about baked goods. By the time Zelda finds you guys and takes Lucina to help her find the kitchen, you and Fox are deep in a conversation about wormholes and their mysterious ways. He eventually gets swept away as well and within moments after that you’re chasing down Yoshi and Pikachu, the latter of whom is riding on the dino’s back while wearing five different hats and waving Marth’s sword around. 

Somehow,  _ only  _ five things are broken during this adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there was a bit more i wanted to do in this chapter, but the conversation with peach et al ended up steering in a different direction and i couldn't figure out how to reasonably steer it back, so it'll probably pop up in some other time and place. next chapter will be THE COOKING CHAPTER. please look forward to absolutely nothing going wrong when these Responsible smashers are left alone in the kitchen to make some sweets for their friends. thanks for reading!


	5. let's all eat cake!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You join Peach and a few other Smashers for a spot of baking. 
> 
> "Absolutely nothing goes wrong," the narrator lies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last week had a lot going on (yo that smash direct tho) so this chapter is later than i intended, but i'll try to make up for it! 
> 
> this and the next few chapters are a bit slow on character additions but i hope you enjoy nonetheless! thanks for reading!!

“Okay, is everyone ready to do some baking~?”

The group that Peach assembled consists of you, Lucina, Toad, Marth, R.O.B., the orange Inkling, and… well…

“Is it, uh, _okay_ that he’s here?” you have to ask when you see Kirby standing among your group, wearing a chef hat and everything. Peach just smiles and waves away your concerns.

“Certainly! Kirby is a very good helper. Isn’t that right?”

Kirby makes a sound of affirmation and starts hopping around, banging a wooden spoon against a pot. Despite your doubts, you’re just going to have to trust Peach about this. She _has_ known him personally longer than you have, after all.

“Before we start,” Peach says, absently flattening out the pink apron she’s wearing while she speaks, “who here has done something like this before?” Specifically, she’s addressing you, Lucina, Marth, and Inkling.

“I’ve made stews before, but never anything like pastries,” Lucina replies. She’s also wearing an apron, but with a simple butterfly design. She also still has some of her equipment - including her sword. Perhaps she just doesn’t like being unprepared.

“My experience is about the same,” Marth echoes sheepishly. He’s actually wearing a button-up blue-and-white chef’s outfit. The hat looks too big for him, and thus looks extraordinarily silly. At least _he_ doesn’t have extra equipment bulking it out - you don’t think you’d be able to contain your laughter if you had to look at these two decked-out sword-wielding dweebs while you baked. “I don’t know how I’ve never helped out with any of these baking activities before now - I think it’s an excellent way to strengthen our bonds.”

“I agree completely!” Lucina nods, perhaps a bit more excitedly than she intended. Inkling - also wearing a button-up chef shirt, with her ink tank slung on her back - explains her own experience, which you translate for the others.

“She says she buys all her meals from Crusty, so she’s never made anything herself.” You pause, then realize you still have to explain your own situation. “Oh, uh, I’ve baked before. Sorta.”

“Really?” Peach’s eyes are practically sparkling. “What have you made? Perhaps we could start there!”

“Um, lot’s of things. But it’s kind of different from what you make I think… maybe I should just show you??” You don’t want her to think you know anything about the process, so you approach the fridge. Kirby has already started bouncing in anticipation, knowing you’re about to work your Food Magic again! When you open the fridge, there is a perfectly made triple-layer cake in there. You take it out, and all the surrounding Smashers are in awe.

“That looks delicious!” Toad exclaims. Peach tilts her head curiously.

“Was that always in the fridge? I don’t remember seeing it earlier…”

An ugly feeling manifests itself in your gut, but you don’t know why. “N-No. I just… made it right now.” Talking about your abilities makes you nervous for some reason - it’s not really something you know how to explain. You’ve just always been able to _do it_. Understandably, the others look confused at your non-explanation.

“May I try a bite?” Peach asks. You shrug and she grabs a fork to scoop a small chunk out of the bottom layer. When she puts it in her mouth, the only word that could describe the look on her face would be… “puzzled”.

“How is it?” Lucina asks. Peach is frowning.

“It doesn’t have any flavour at all.”

“Really?” You balance the cake in one hand and use the other to pull a piece off with your fingers. It tastes the same as it always does to you. Which, thinking about it, is not much different from how most of your food tastes. You just project _“this is good”_ and _“this is bad”_ based on how people react to food in media. “Maybe… it’s because I’ve never had a real cake before? So I wouldn’t know how it tastes.” Or maybe you just can’t inject certain senses like _taste_ into the things you make. It’s not really something you’ve ever thought about.

“Well that just won’t do! We’ll be sure to make a proper cake today for everyone to enjoy!” The Mushroom Kingdom princess claps her hands together as she excitedly looks over everyone. “But first, why don’t we start with something a bit easier as warm-up? Let’s start with cookies!”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea,” Marth agrees. As Peach instructs everyone what to get for the preparations, you find yourself at a loss on what to do with the cake in your hands.

Looking down, you notice Kirby is still here and looking at you expectantly with a smile.

“Do you want this?” you ask, and the puffball makes an excited affirmative noise. Returning the smile, you hold it out to him and he’s quick to inhale the entire cake off the tray. You can’t help but giggle at the bits of icing stuck around his mouth that go unnoticed as he turns to help the others.

Well. At least one person likes your cooking.

* * *

 

You watch as R.O.B. sticks the last tray of cookies in the oven, breathing a sigh of relief before taking a glance around the kitchen for a status update. Amazingly, nothing has gone horribly wrong yet. Sure, everyone is covered in flour, and there was a sugar spill that still has traces on the floor, and at one point Lucina broke an egg a bit too roughly… but overall? Not bad for a first attempt - at least you think so. You’re pretty sure Marth and Lucina haven’t noticed how much dough is on their faces - and you can’t imagine you look much better than them - but you’re pretty sure things could have probably ended up worse. You’ve been impressed with Kirby’s restraint; he remained very helpful and professional through the whole procedure, though now he and Inkling are gobbling up cookie dough still stuck inside all the bowls you used.

“That went well!” Peach proclaims. You can’t help but notice she and Toad are noticeably covered in less mess compared to the rest of the group. That’s the sign of people who actually know what they are doing. “What did everyone think? Wasn’t it fun?”

“I didn’t realize making cookies was so much work,” Marth admits, and he absently rubs a hand against his face - unwittingly spreading more flour and dough across his forehead. You hide a smile behind your hand. “I’m excited to see how they turn out.”

“I as well,” Lucina agrees. “I’d love to take this recipe back home so my friends could have some too.”

“That’s such a wonderful idea! I’ll be sure to write down the instructions for everything we make so you can take it home with you.”

Lucina smiles as she watches Peach already looking for something to write with. “Thank you, Peach. You’re too kind.”

The other princess is already waving the thanks away. “Oh, it’s no trouble at all! I’m sure your friends will love anything you make for them~!”

As you’re all taking this short, well-deserved break from baking, the kitchen door swings open just enough for someone to peek inside.

“Wow, something smells good in here-- uhh.” Shulk’s smile drops as he sees the state of the kitchen and its inhabitants. Does it really look that bad? Maybe it’s the melted chocolate chips stuck to the counter that’s doing it. Yeah, that’s definitely too much. Someone should clean that up.

“Shulk!” Peach beams when she sees the boy, who gives an awkward smile back, likely still trying to process the scene before him. “Come in, don’t worry about the mess. We were just about to start baking a cake - would you like to join us?”

“Sure, why not?” Closing the door behind him, Shulk comes further into the kitchen, stepping around a bowl that somehow ended up in the middle of the floor. Once he’s close enough to your group, a bemused smile spreads across his features and he seems to hesitate before speaking again.

“I think you, um, have something in your hair?”

“What?!” Lucina raises her hand to frantically pat her hair where Shulk is pointing, and manages to find the glob of peanut butter that has been stuck there for awhile. “Wh-Why didn’t anyone tell me sooner?! Ugh!”

Marth gives a sheepish look, but he’s definitely more amused than apologetic. “Sorry, I didn’t want to say anything...”

“You didn’t want to--?!” The blue-haired swordswoman turns on him and gives a brief look of exasperation. “If you had told me, I would have told _you_ about the cookie dough on your face!”

“What??” Mimicking Lucina’s earlier movements, Marth raises a hand to his face and feels around until he comes away with a glob of dough on his fingers. “A-And you didn’t say anything??”

You just can’t hold back any longer. The laughter escapes you all at once, and you can’t stop yourself even as both blue-haired heroes give you a bewildered look.

“What are _you_ laughing at?” Marth asks, and you catch the smile that plays on his lips. “You have something on your face too, you know.”

“Wh- _What?!_ ” Your laughter stops all at once as you feel around your face with a clean spot of your arm. Sure enough, there’s something grainy stuck there, and when you pull away you realize it’s brown sugar. “No!! How? When did that get there?!”

Both Marth _and_ Lucina are laughing at you, their own mess apparently forgotten. Even Peach lets out a giggle, while Shulk is clearly trying to hold back. This is unfair! Betrayal of the highest order! How could you let the tables be turned on you like this?!

“I suppose we should clean up before we start making something else,” Peach says, unable to hold back her smile. While you were distracted, Kirby washed his hands and is now rubbing his face with a cloth. _Without_ being told to, unlike the rest of you chumps.

Golly, looks like you all should follow his example.

* * *

 

“Hmm, this is strange…”

You look up from your duty of laying out all the utensils you’ll need to glance over at Peach, who was grabbing ingredients from the other end of the room with Toad. Lucina and Shulk are finishing up with the dishes, while Inkling is mopping the floor and Marth is wiping off the counters. R.O.B. and Kirby are waiting by the oven as the cookies bake.

“What’s up?” you ask, and Peach turns to look at you with a frown.

“I thought I brought in the strawberries for the cake, but I can’t seem to find them.” With a short hum, she brushes off the issue and smiles. “It’s okay though - Robin and I bought some extra ingredients when we went out, so I just have to go get them! I’ll find something we can start a cookbook in too, so I can write down all the recipes we make!”

“Will you need help carrying anything?” Lucina asks.

“Nope! Toad and I should be able to get it all, but thank you!” She takes off her apron and hangs it on a hook before opening the kitchen door. “We’ll be right back~!” And the two of them leave, the door closing behind them. When they are gone, Marth is the first to speak up:

“So, should we get started?”

Understandably, all eyes turn to him with varying degrees of bewilderment and confusion. “Shouldn’t we wait for Peach?” Shulk asks, and the Altean prince waves away everyone’s concerns with a smile.

“Wouldn’t it be better if we’re almost done by the time she gets back? Otherwise, we’ll just be waiting around until then. We may as well be doing something constructive.”

“None of us have made a cake before though,” Lucina points out, pausing a moment before she turns her head to address Shulk. “Unless you have?”

“Not at all. My friends and I usually aren’t allowed in the kitchen when someone is cooking - I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

“Oh!” Recalling earlier conversation, you gesture to a certain pink puffball. “Kirby has baked with Peach before, so he probably knows how to make a cake! Am I right?”

Kirby makes a confident affirmative noise and then rushes to the counter. Marth grins and glances around the little circle of cooks, looking for encouragement.

“See? I’m sure we can manage this just fine. How about it?”

“...Alright, I’m in,” Lucina says with a nod. “The cookies weren’t too difficult, so a cake can’t be much different.”

“As long as Kirby knows what he’s doing…” Having not been present for the first baking session, you understand why Shulk is a bit dubious. You admittedly are a bit nervous as well, but you decide to reassure him anyways, hoping your faith isn’t misplaced.

“He’s been super professional and helpful up until now, so I trust him.” You shrug. “What’s the harm in trying?”

“...Okay, then I’ll help too,” Shulk finally says after a moment of deliberation. Inkling gives a cheer to signify that she is also down to clown at the cake-baking town. Excellent, everyone is in agreement.

R.O.B. remains silently by the oven. He will not be helping. Someone has to keep an eye on the cookies, after all!

“Great!” you exclaim, and you all gather around the counter where Kirby has laid out several bowls of different sizes. “Kirby, what do we do first?” He starts giving instructions while gesturing to the bowls, and you immediately start translating.

“We’re going to be making a tiered cake, so everyone in the mansion will be able to have some. The layers from the smaller bowls will be at the top, while the biggest is at the bottom.”

“Makes sense…” Marth says to himself, nodding sagely. You continue translating as Kirby starts pointing to ingredients.

“To start, we’ll need someone to grease the pans, another to mix the sugar and butter, and another to break the eggs.” Inkling makes an excited sound. “She says she wants to do the eggs.”

“Lucina? Why don’t you and I handle the pans?”

“I think… that would be best.” There are a lot of pans, so it’s a good idea for both Marth and Lucina to cover them. Especially considering how disastrous egg breaking and stirring had been for them last time.

“I guess… I’ll do the mixing?” Shulk gives you a questioning look, in case it’s a job _you_ want to do, but you just shrug in return.

“Knock yourself out.” Pause. “Uh, not literally. I don’t know how you’d knock yourself out while stirring stuff, but don’t do it anyways.”

The blond smiles. “I’ll do my best not to.”

That’s good. Everything is going well so far. The other three move aside to do their jobs while you and Shulk stick by the largest bowl, intended for the bottom layer of the cake. “Okay, Kirby, how much butter do we use?”

The puffball hums at the opened stick of butter on the counter, carefully analyzing it. He eventually points to the direct center of it, and you use a knife to cut there. The cut is a bit slanted but you think it’s fine, so you put half into the bowl. With a grimace, you wipe your hand against your clothes without thinking.

“Ugh… okay, now how much sugar?”

You’ve got the measuring cups out and everything, but after a moment of examining them all to figure out which is the right cup for the job, Kirby just grabs the bag of sugar and starts pouring it into the bowl. You’re pretty sure he just dumped out half of the bag. _Most_ of it ends up in the bowl.

Well. He’s the chef.

There’s a _CRACK_ beside you and you feel something splat on your face. You turn to see Inkling at a bowl, holding a smashed egg in her hand. Yolk is everywhere. Inkling’s bewildered face slowly shifts into a wicked grin, clearly having found some thrill in violently breaking eggs. Kirby calmly comments on the situation.

“...He says it’s okay if eggshells are left in.” You’re not entirely sure you believe it, but you don’t really have another frame of reference to fall back on. Inkling excitedly nods and starts grabbing more eggs. Oh dear.

You notice that Shulk is having trouble stirring the bowl.

“Do you want me to do that?” you ask.

“No! I’m fine, it’s just… are you sure this is the right amount?”

Kirby nods very assuredly. And nobody can argue with him.

“...how’s the greasing going?” Anything to distract you from this potential disaster. Neither Marth nor Lucina look entirely enthused to be working with the grease - despite using something to spread it around the pan, it is all over their hands and on their sleeves.

“We’re okay,” Marth answers, clearly and completely lying as he tries not to look at his hands in disdain. “How many of these do we need?”

Kirby takes a moment to contemplate, mumbling numbers before giving a definitive answer.

“A-All of them?!”

“ALL of them??” Lucina repeats. Chef Kirby nods, believing this to be entirely reasonable. There are at least a dozen pans lying about.

“How many layers is this cake going to be?” you wonder aloud, but no one gives you an answer. Kirby instructs Inkling to dump the eggs into the bowl Shulk is stirring. You’re not sure how many eggs Inkling used, but you think you see at least three separate egg yolks on the ground. Whatever ended up in Inkling’s bowl gets dumped into the big one, and Kirby encourages Shulk to keep stirring.

“Next we put in the vanilla,” you translate, and you need to take a moment to track down the small bottle of brown liquid. You pour a little bit in and look to Kirby for further directions. He gestures to put more in… and more… little bit more… Before you know it, the bottle is empty. Okay. Sure. You’ll believe it.

Next is the flour and baking powder. Kirby helps you splash the flour into a bowl, then adds almost a whole container of baking powder, and then Inkling eagerly claims the stirring job. She stirs much more vigorously than Shulk, and you’re pretty sure at least a quarter of it flies out. In a few seconds, Kirby gives you the signal for the next step despite neither of these bowls looking sufficiently mixed.

“Next we… mix it all together.” You watch as Inkling dumps her bowl into Shulk’s, and it overflows. The blond boy tries very hard to keep stirring without spilling anything. Unsurprisingly, it is not going well. Kirby’s expression is entirely unreadable - stoic, impassive. A true master of the art. He orders for the milk to be added.

“Okay, milk… milk… uhhhh.” You swear the milk was here a moment ago. You look up and down the counter wildly, and even glance at the floor to make sure it hasn’t fallen during all the commotion, but you can’t find a trace of it. Did you forget to bring it out? Suddenly, you hear Lucina’s voice cry out:

“Th-There! Over by the door!”

...and when you look up, you see a small gaggle of red, yellow, and blue creatures with leaves on the end of their antennae carrying the carton of milk out of the kitchen. When did they get in here?? How did they approach without anybody noticing?!

“Do you need help--?”

“Allow me to accompany you--” Shulk and Marth say simultaneously as you drop everything and start rushing over to the door. You half turn to give them a dismissive wave and tell them you’ll handle this… when you bump into a large cardboard box (has that always been there??) and then stumble towards the garbage bin, tripping over it in a spectacular fashion. A decent amount of the mess you cleaned up earlier spills out.

‘I, uh… dangit…” You crouch down to pick up what you can and throw it back into the garbage. In seconds, Marth and Lucina join you. Inkling rushes to grab the mop in anticipation.

“It’s alright, we can take care of this,” Marth says, lifting the bin upright. You try to continue helping anyways, but Lucina grabs the trash you were reaching for before you can.

“Those looked like Pikmin. You should probably chase them down before they find somewhere to hide the milk.” There’s an obvious question in your eyes that Lucina answers before you can get a word out: “Yes, this has been an issue in the past.”

“O-Okay. I’ll be right back!” You jump to your feet and run to the door, flinging it open and exiting into the banquet hall without even a glance behind you. Surely nothing bad could happen while you’re gone? This will only take a moment.

The Pikmin are nowhere to be seen, so you conclude they must have already made it to the hallway. Sheesh, those little guys move fast! There’s no one in the banquet hall, so you blip yourself to the other side and quickly make your way into the hallway. Stopping to look around a moment, you see a flash of colour turning down another hall and you start running in that direction. You turn the corner and immediately crash into someone, sending the both of you tumbling to the ground. With a grunt of pain, you look up to see who you bumped into.

Oh, it’s Luigi! And… he has a ginormous bandage on his face!! Oh no!! You must have hurt him!! Does your cruelty have no bounds?!

“I’m soooo sorry, I--” Hold on. Why would he be wearing a bandage already if he _just_ got hurt? No, that must have been an older wound, and you feel a bit less guilty. You don’t remember him having it when you saw him in the banquet hall yesterday though, so you can’t help but wonder how he got it.

“I-Imma okay,” Luigi says as he shakes himself off and stands up. You stand as well, and you’d like to ask him about his injury, but then you remember why you left the kitchen in the first place.

“Uh, have you seen a bunch of Pikmin come by here carrying a thing of milk?”

“Uh-huh, they went thatta way.” Green Bean points in the direction of the hall behind him. You give him a friendly shoulder pat as you pass by.

“Thanks, Luigi! I’ll make it up to you later, okay?” You give him your signature finger guns before dashing off. You don’t see how he flushes in embarrassment, standing dazed in that same spot even as you round the corner. He’s totally forgotten what he was doing before you showed up.

This is not Luigi’s story, so we let the man be and quickly return to what _you_ are doing.

You are hunting for Pikmin.

After a couple more guesses regarding which corridors to turn down, you finally find the little buggers rushing towards a short man in a space suit. The man notices their approach and accepts the milk container from them, turning it over and analyzing it carefully. You start to make your way over as the man starts monologuing.

“The Pikmin have brought me something very unusual today. It seems like some sort of rectangular prism with liquid trapped inside. I cannot fathom this object’s purpose.” He gives the container a shake, and the milk inside sloshes around. “Oh, but perhaps… There is a picture of some mammalian creature on this containment unit - perhaps that reveals its true contents? Is this, perhaps, this creature’s home? Or some sort of prison? I do not see any holes or doors, so perhaps the creature has been trapped in there unwillingly. I believe I will dub this contraption the _Sealed House_. Perhaps if I could find a way to open it, I could ask its inhabitants why they are in there, and study how they are able to maintain a liquid form. I’m sure that would be a very handy ability to have if I could utilize it myself...”

“Um.”

The little astronaut looks up at you, and all the Pikmin surrounding him follow suit. You feel a bit overwhelmed to have so many eyes on you. “Oh! Have I perhaps found a native of this land, or merely another fighter in the _Super Smash Brothers_ tournament? Regardless, there is a chance they may be able to answer my questions. Hello!”

“Hi,” you reply lamely. This is all very silly. You think his theory on milk is very cool though. You introduce yourself to him: “Not a Smasher, just the owner of this mansion. Could I have that back, please?”

“Ah, so you are our host! Allow me to introduce myself as well: I am Captain Olimar, explorer from planet Hocotate. I apologize for the Pikmin’s behaviour, they are incredibly curious and always bringing me strange things that they find. Why, just earlier, they were bringing me some _Sunseed Berries_. I certainly hope those didn’t belong to anyone either - I’ll have to ask around and make sure.” He returns the milk container to you, and you can’t help but breathe a sigh of relief. That could have gone a lot worse. “Before you go, may I ask the function of that containment unit?”

It’s totally lame of you to dash his cool theory, but you decide to be honest anyways. “It’s called milk. It’s just something people drink, like water or juice.”

“I see… so it is a drink made from the liquified remains of some poor animal... Or perhaps: they liquify themselves willingly, in hopes of being used for a greater cause?”

“That’s… uh…” You are _pretty sure_ that is not how it works. But then again, your world does not have milk. Maybe that really _is_ the practice in whatever world this milk came from. Regardless, using it to make a cake is suddenly much less exciting. But everyone is waiting for you, so you should bring it back to the kitchen anyways.

“Welp, I’m going to go now,” you say, trying to shake off the image of cows being grinded into a liquid. “It was nice meeting you, Captain Olimar. I hope you enjoy your stay here--”

What happens next definitely shocks you.

Very literally.

“Ouch!” You shake off the residue of static that zapped your fingers when the yellow blur leaped past you and swiped the container of milk from your hands. You are not surprised at all when you look and see a familiar electric rat holding the milk in its paws, giving you a devilish look.

“ _Pikachu!_ ” You should have known it wouldn’t have been this easy! You groan in frustration as the mouse shakes its tail at you tauntingly, humming a little tune. What a brat. You take a threatening step towards it, and Pikachu stops, quickly shifting to stand on all fours while the milk balances on its head. It’s going to bolt any second now.

This is _absolutely_ going to be another chase sequence.

“Oh… oh dear,” you hear Olimar say. He is watching in fear. The intense atmosphere is too much for him, so he will not be joining our chase sequence.

You take another step forward, eyes locked with your opponent.

Pikachu tenses even further, grinning as sparks emit from its cheeks.

You know it’s not going to let you get much closer. It’s either now or never - you can’t let it get a head start. So you immediately shift to make a mad dash towards the lightning mouse, and just as expected, it retaliates by booking it in the opposite direction.

You have no idea how it is keeping the milk on its head while it runs, but you both are now locked in The Chase.

This chase sequence sends you down many different corridors - too many for you to recognize them all and pinpoint exactly where you were going. Later, you’d be kicking yourself for not reconstructing the mansion as you ran to lead Pikachu into a dead end, and even later you’d realize that maybe, just maybe, you didn’t do it because you were secretly having a lot of fun during all this.

That is in the distant future from now, however. In the present, you are propelled by such fury and determination that you are doing the craziest action flips over every statue and table that Pikachu knocks down in an attempt to stop you. You are not deterred by his incessant property damage. You have to get the milk and bake a cake for all your new friends! This is a battle you can’t afford to lose!

You have no idea how long your cat-and-mouse game goes on before suddenly a bird is added to the mix.

“Stop that Pikachu!” you shout to Falco just as the mouse is darting past him. The blue pilot looks like he’s been taken completely off-guard by this interruption to his calm stroll through the mansion, but he’s only stammering for a moment before he whips out his blaster and starts shooting at the retreating Pokemon. Pikachu manages to dodge every shot expertly without looking back, leaping high into the air to avoid the last one.

“ _Jiggly…_ ”

Pikachu’s smug look is wiped off its face when it hears that familiar voice. It is too slow to react - a spherical pink blur comes flying from the shadows, hurtling towards the airborne mouse.

“ _PUFF!_ ”

Jigglypuff rams right into Pikachu with a powerful roll, sending him flying across the hall as the container of milk spirals freely in the air. With a despaired shout, you start running towards the falling container - you’re not going to make it! - but Falco thankfully beats you to the punch, zipping past you and catching the milk before it hits the ground. You breathe out an “oh thank goodness!” as you laugh and stumble towards _your heroes_. The adrenaline is starting to wear off, and the exhaustion from all that running is sinking in.

Pikachu glares at you all in frustration, looking ready to strike again, but one look from Jigglypuff is enough to send it running. Apparently, this game is no longer worth it anymore when _this_ Pokemon is involved. That’s handy knowledge to have.

“Nice hit, ‘Puff,” Falco says approvingly. “Guess you _are_ still worth a spot in the tournament.”

The balloon Pokemon gives Falco the _dirtiest_ look. It makes a sound of indignation before walking off, leaving you and Falco alone in the hall.

“Thanks for the help,” you say, taking the milk container from him. “You wouldn’t _believe_ all the things that happened before I could get this back.”

“I’m pretty sure I would,” he counters somewhat smugly. Oh yeah, this kind of stuff is probably common among the Smashers. “What so important about this milk, anyways? Don’t tell me this is the only carton in this whole mansion.”

...Thinking about it, it probably would have been a lot less effort to just look for another thing of milk. But when Pikachu got thrown in the mix, it became a matter of pride, and now…

Well, you’ve been gone way too long. You wouldn’t be surprised if everyone found a replacement and carried on baking the cake without you. Which is kind of uncool, but you would understand if that were the case.

“Oh-ho, you guys were making a cake? Well why didn’t you say so!” Whoops, looks like you were talking out loud. “Let me guess-- one of Peach’s cakes? Oh man, I’ve been _dying_ for one of those for so long. C’mon then, let’s get you back so that cake can be finished.”

You both make your way back to the kitchen. Along the way, Falco tells you animatedly about all the delicious goods that Peach has baked in the past. No one can cook like her, he’s learned to never doubt her cooking, et cetera. Fox said similar things yesterday, so you suddenly find yourself even more excited to bake with Peach. You finally make it back to the banquet hall, where things are still quiet.

“Well, when I left to chase down the milk, Peach wasn’t back yet, but it’s been awhile since then so maybe she will be?” You shrug and smile lightheartedly. “Who knows - maybe they found a replacement and everything is done already.”

As you’re opening the kitchen door, you miss the way Falco’s face falls upon learning Peach hasn’t been present for most of the baking process.

But it’s too late for him to run.

It’s too late for _either of you_ to run.

The both of you are _speechless_ at the state of the kitchen. This is significantly worse than the mess you made while making cookies. There is cake batter _everywhere_ \- on the floors, on the walls, on the _ceiling_ \- and it looks like the gang really did try to carry on without you, because every bowl and pan in sight has been used up. Most of the people in the room still seem to be trying to make the cake, but both Kirby and Inkling are having a splat war using Inkling’s weapons and the cake ingredients. That would definitely explain the mess.

“You’re not stirring it hard enough!” Hold on, when did _Captain Falcon_ get in here?! He’s trying to give Shulk tips on how to stir the thick batter, but the blond’s puny strength is clearly not satisfactory enough. “C’mon, you need to try harder! Just-- here, let ME show you how to do it! HYAAAAAHHH!!!”

Falcon snatches the bowl from him and starts stirring with all his might. The batter flies everywhere - again on the ceiling, but also on the surrounding cooks. Shulk, Marth, and Lucina back away and cover their faces, while the F-Zero racer remains steadfast, undeterred by the gunk covering his helmet and likely obscuring his vision. You feel like you should step in and say something, but you notice Inkling and Kirby have jumped into a certain position, so you yelp and leap out of the room before they start firing.

“What the-- _gyaaghghghrrghh--_ ” Inkling ducks out of the way as Kirby pulls the trigger on the splatgun, and the batter sprays out in a jet and hits Falco, who is frozen in the doorway. He flails as he is covered in the white-ish goop, and it takes Kirby a few good seconds before he realize who he’s hitting and stops spraying, dropping the gun to appear innocent. Falco squawks in frustration as he tries to flick the batter off. You are torn between being _absolutely appalled_ and just _dying from laughter_.

“Um… is everything okay here?”

The new voice manages to draw _everyone’s_ attention.

It’s Princess Peach.

It seems that her and Toad have finally returned, each carrying baskets of strawberries and various other ingredients. Toad makes a distressed gasp at the sight of the kitchen, while Peach just looks on in shock, completely speechless. Suddenly, everyone starts talking at once:

“Princess Peach! I can explain--”

“--I’m so sorry, the milk was taken and I--”

“--Kirby said he knew how to make the cake, so we--”

“--and nobody knew how to stir with PASSION, so I had to come in and teach them!--”

“--I am never getting this out of my feathers, am I?--”

“--I knew this wasn’t a good idea--”

The oven dings, and R.O.B. removes the cookies and places them on the counter to cool.

Among all the commotion - to everyone’s surprise - Peach starts _laughing_. Everyone shuts up immediately, no longer knowing what to say, as the princess tries oh so very hard to contain her giggles behind her hand.

“Oopsie daisy, looks like I was gone for too long, wasn’t I?” Peach’s kind smile dissolves the tension immediately, and half of the room starts smiling awkwardly. “Why don’t we get all this cleaned up and then enjoy the cookies we’ve made? We can try baking a cake another day.”

You think there might be a bit too much sugar in them, but otherwise the cookies are the most delicious thing you’ve ever eaten in your life.


	6. Lights, Camera...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You meet Peach's friend and get a behind-the-scenes look of how the promotional videos for the tournament are recorded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> double update this week since i missed last week!
> 
> this chapter is mostly just a transition chapter and doesn't include any crazy hijinx because i wanted to rush it a little bit to get to the next sequence of chapters, but i hope it's still fun anyways.

Kitchen: sparkling clean (again).

Cookies: eaten.

The group disperses, and everyone is left to their own devices.

Having woken up relatively early to start baking, the day is still young by the time all the kitchen shenanigans are over and done with. You had all sat in the banquet hall and stuffed yourself with cookies, chattering and laughing about batter still stuck to someone’s hair or clothes. After everyone finishes and leaves one by one to do their own things, you find yourself walking through the mansion alongside Peach and the orange Inkling. Peach is carrying a small container with a few cookies inside, claiming she wants to bring them to a friend.

“Oh yes, I was gone so long because I ran into her on my way back,” Peach explains to you now, having forgotten to say anything during all the commotion. Her eyes are practically sparkling. “I didn’t know she had been invited to the tournament! I was just so happy to see her, so we talked and I showed her around a bit…” The princess giggles apologetically. “I suppose I ended up losing track of time.”

“Don’t worry about it,” you say. “We were doing mostly fine on our own for awhile… I think.” Yep, if you hadn’t rushed out of the room to chase Olimar’s Pikmin, you are pretty sure you all could have managed to make a decent cake. Probably. “So uh, who did you run into?”

“It was--”

“ _ Peachy!! _ ”

This new and unfamiliar voice comes from the top of a flight of stairs the three of you are walking by, and when you look up you see a grinning girl in orange at the top. She hops on the railing and slides down with an excited cheer, landing right in front of you. 

“This place  _ rocks! _ ” The brunette squeals, giving you and Inkling a glance before turning to focus on her friend. “I found a  _ swimming pool _ on the fourth floor. With water slides and everything! And there’s a hot tub, and a sauna, and--”

“That all sounds wonderful - we should get the girls together and go later.” The girl grins and nods at Peach’s suggestion, before turning her gaze on you once Peach begins to introduce you. “Daisy, this is our host and the owner of this land. Say hi~!”

“Hi!” Daisy eagerly sticks her hand out and you shake it, finding her smile infectious. “I’m Daisy, from Sarasaland!” As you’re shaking her hand, Daisy head turns to address Peach. “Peachy! You didn’t tell me our host was  _ cute! _ ”

You stammer on your words as Peach giggles. “Didn’t I? Oh well, now you know~!” Daisy is still vigorously shaking your hand, and you are too dazed to do anything about it. “Relax, Daisy. You’re going to scare them!”

“Whoops! Sooooorry!” With a laugh, Daisy lets go of your hand and her hands casually go behind her head. “I’m just so excited!! I’ve never been invited to one of these things before! I can’t WAIT to meet all your crazy friends that you’re always talking about!”

“We’ll get to that soon enough,” Peach says, unable to stop herself from smiling. “For now, why don’t we go on a proper tour first? I’m sure we’ll see a lot of people along the way.”

“Heck yeah, that’s a great idea!” Daisy moves between you and Peach and links arms with both of you, starting to direct y’all down the corridor. Inkling contentedly walks next to you, occasionally glancing up to study this new stranger. “I wanna check out all that stuff outside! I think I saw like, a stadium out there?” She pauses and gasps in excitement. “Oh, we should totally get some teams going and play soccer or something! You guys do that sort of thing around here, right?”

“Sometimes,” Peach answers. “It’s been awhile though, and I’m not sure how many people would want to play… but we’d have enough people for it!”

“YEAH! Okay, let’s round everyone up later and play a game.” Daisy nods with satisfaction as she leads you to the front door. Soon, you’re all outside and walking along a path as you point out what’s around the property. As you walk, Daisy shares the cookies that Peach brought in the container for her. 

“There’s the dojo, and the garden… here’s an outdoor pool… over there is the rift that leads to a world of unspeakable evils… oh, and if you keep going that way, you’ll find the stadium that you were talking about--”

“What’s that over there?”

You turn your gaze to where Daisy is pointing to and spot a gaggle of large buildings. There are people going in and out of some of them. “Those were just a bunch of empty buildings for Master Hand to use. I don’t know what he’s doing with them.”

“Well, let’s go find out!” Daisy starts in the direction of the buildings, and Inkling excitedly follows behind her. You and Peach follow at a more leisurely pace.

As you approach, you recognize the “people” to be those humanoid entities known as Miis. You admittedly don’t know much about their backstory or functions, but they seem to commonly imitate popular figures from history. You’ve weeded out a few fake historical tales that involved mischievous Miis rather than the actual people they were playing as. They seem to have some sort of connection to the multiverse that lets them learn about these historical figures, just as you do, but in their case, you have no idea how or why they manage it. Regardless, they don’t seem to be participating in any shenanigans currently - you presume they are just following orders from Master Hand.

“Oh, is this the studio?” Peach wonders aloud as a Mii carrying a camera walks into the building. 

“The studio? Is there usually one of those?”

The princess nods at your question. “Master Hand usually sets one up to record promotional material for the tournament.” She smiles at you, a glimmer of wonder in her eyes. “Shall we see if they’re filming anything today?”

“Oooooh, yeah let’s check it out!” Without waiting for the rest of you, Daisy enters the building behind a Mii, with Inkling trailing behind her. You admit, you  _ are  _ curious to see all the behind-the-scenes stuff, so you go in as well.

The inside is not all that glamorous - though that’s understandable, since it has only been three days since Master Hand started moving things into your realm. Wires run across the floor everywhere you look, and there’s all sorts of equipment that you don’t even recognize. Most notably, Mario and Master Hand are here, talking seriously about something. Daisy beams when she sees the plumber and starts sprinting towards him at full speed.

“HEY  _ WHAT’SUPMARIOOOOOO!!! _ ”

“D-Daisy?!” Mario yelps as Daisy tackles him in a way that seems like a hug, but quickly shifts into a headlock. She laughs as Mario struggles a bit, who stops once the shock has subsided and lets out a sigh.

“Ah, Princess Daisy,” Master Hand says, entirely unfazed by the scene before him. “We’re glad you could make it.”

“So you’re the big cheese, huh?” Daisy releases the plumber - who rubs his neck in relief - and gives the giant floating hand a once-over. Not-so-discreetly, she peers past him curiously, as if trying to confirm he’s not attached to anything. “Y’know, you’re a bit smaller than I thought you’d be.”

“...yes, well, you know how it is. Theatrics and all that.” Master Hand makes a sound as if he’s clearing his non-existent throat before continuing. “Anyways, have you gotten settled? If you have the time, I’d like to start recording a promotional video for you. It is our hope that you will be one of the first new contestants revealed.”

“Really?!” If Daisy was anymore excited, she’d probably be bouncing off the walls. “Yes! Double yes! Of course I’ve got the time - just tell me what I need to do and I am  _ so  _ there.” 

“Excellent. In that case, come right this way…”

You watch as Daisy follows Master Hand to one of the other set-ups, the latter explaining some of his envisioned trailer shots for her. Meanwhile, Blue Inkling comes over to your group, wearing a very grumpy face. Orange Inkling gives him a grin, which seems to make him more irritated.

_ ‘Where have you been?!’ _

_ ‘I was learnin’ how to make cookies! They were suuuuper good! You should have been there!’ _ Orange takes one of the remaining cookies from Peach’s container and offers it to him.  _ ‘You want one?’ _

_ ‘You dummy!’  _ Blue chirps angrily, slapping the cookie out of her hands. She stares at the smashed cookie on the ground, appalled.  _ ‘You were supposed to be HERE helping with the recording!! I've had to do everything by myself!’ _

Orange frowns a second longer at the cookie, then, registering what Blue was saying, starts grinning cheekily again.  _ ‘Whaaaaat? Were we doing that todaaaay?’ _

_ ‘YES!’ _

There's a pause, and suddenly Orange throws her hands to her head in panic.  _ ‘Oh squid!! I completely forgooooot!!!’ _

_ ‘Just get over and help me, you clown fish!!’ _

Orange scurries behind the green screen, and Blue follows with a groan. You can't help but let out a little laugh. There's a sigh from beside you.

_ ‘Sheesh, how unprofessional. Why does she get first billing over us again?’ _

You look down at the owner of the voice and see… another male Inkling?! Except this one is cyan and wearing different clothes. 

“Wait, hold on,” you say, looking back and forth between the Inkling beside you and the one by the screen, “why is there… what??”

“It’sa like cloning technology,” Mario explains, and you catch sight of Orange standing on a pad, which causes a purple female Inkling to appear on another pad. “We-a use it to have-a mirror matches.”

Okay, that makes sense. You should have known they had something that allowed them to do that - you just hasn't been prepared to see it in action. “So are they still the same person, or…?”

“Of course!” Peach answers. “Once their matches are over, their experiences are merged with the original.”

That's really cool, though you have wonder about the thoughts and feelings of the clones. What does it feel like? Part of you wonders what it would be like if  _ you _ cloned yourself, but considering the copies come out with their own colours, you assume it's something the Smashers have to be programmed into.

You watch as Orange Inkling strikes some action poses and demonstrates her weapons. A Mr. Game & Watch is manning the camera, gesturing to convey which poses he wants Inkling to do. Eventually, there are eight Inklings in the shot at once, miraculously managing to move in sync.

“Princess Peach!” Master Hand calls out. You look over to see Daisy doing some fierce poses at the camera, then switching to a silly one. “Could you come over here? I'd like to have the both of you in some shots together.”

“Okay~!” Peach smiles and heads over. The two princesses stand next to each other and shift form pose to pose accordingly. There’s enough noise in the building that you don’t hear when the main entrance opens and shuts, so you jump a bit when a drowsy Link suddenly walks past you, stretching and yawning.

“Link! We’ve been-a waiting for you!” Mario sighs and shakes his head at Link’s disheveled appearance - he’s wearing his Champion’s Tunic, but it’s a bit lopsided and half stuck in his trousers. His hair is still rocking some crazy bedhead. The Hylian boy gives Mario a lazy smile and wave, and Mario just sighs again.

“No matter-a what timeline you’re from-a, you-a never change. Let’sa go - we’re-a recording at the-a back.” Mario calls out to the orange and blue Inklings, and the four of them start walking towards the back of the building. Curious (and not sure what else to do), you decide to tag along.

This one is the biggest set yet: the blank white canvas that covers the area goes from wall to wall. Tons of lights hang above, and most of the cameras are on wheels. You take note of all the different coloured tape both on and off the set, marking places where the actors had to stand. As a Mr. Game & Watch demonstrates the plan, a Mii tries to fix up Link’s appearance. He’s clearly not very enthused by the effort.

“Ah, finally, everyone we need is here.” Master Hand floats over, then begin to explain the scene to you: “As you know, we haven’t announced the existence of the next  _ Super Smash Brothers _ tournament yet, so today we will be filming a ‘teaser trailer’ of sorts to build excitement. We will release a more in-depth advertisement at a later date, when more participants have arrived.”

You nod and look back out at the white set. Wow! You get to watch the first trailer being made!! This is so exciting! Once everyone is in position and ready to go, Master Hand snaps his fingers.

“And… ACTION!”

The two Inklings start shooting ink around the canvas, then run and swim around each other as if in a battle. A few cameras follow the action, each with splat guards attached to prevent ink from coating them. As the two run around, the lights above begin to dim, and a different set of lights turns on, making the white canvas appear black. 

A large orange light in the shape of the  _ Smash  _ logo on the wall is turned on, bathing the orange Inkling in similarly coloured light. 

A camera closes in on her awed face as she gazes up towards the light. 

On the other side of the set, two cameras approach Mario and Link, who are standing still with fierce looks on their faces. 

Blue Inkling re-enters Orange’s shot, and a camera rolls outwards, filming the both of them staring at the huge light.

“Aaand… CUT!” 

The white lights turn back on. You blink, trying to adjust to the brightness again.

Wow! That was… kind of not as cool as seeing a finished product! But it was still kinda cool. You’re excited to see how the various cameras’ recordings are stitched together, and how the trailer looks when music and special effects are added.

You hear Master Hand hum in contemplation beside you. After a moment, he turns to focus on you. “What did you think of that?”

“Uhh…” It was shorter than you were expecting, but he did mention it was just a teaser beforehand. “It was cool,” you answer honestly. There’s not much more you can say about it.

“We’ll have to adjust the lightning,” Master Hand explains, “and we’ll be adding in the silhouettes of other contestants in post. Hmm, perhaps we could set the logo on fire…?” You’re pretty sure he’s not even addressing you anymore, too caught up in his vision for the final product. “Yes, I think that would enhance the tension and atmosphere. Alright everyone, return to your positions! We’re taking it from the top with a couple changes! And someone get that cardboard box off the set! Goodness, how did that even get there...?”

Master Hand floats onto the set, giving out further orders to the staff, while you are left alone watching. You’re not alone for very long though, because soon enough both Peach and Daisy have finished with their work and are rejoining you. 

“Whoa, that was AWESOME!” They must have seen the trial run, if Daisy’s awed reaction is any indication. “That looks like it’ll be waaaay more intense than other trailers I’ve seen.” And you have to agree with that - you can’t think of any past promotional video that matches the atmosphere of this one. Well, perhaps some scenes from the  _ Super Smash Brothers  _ movie came close - that got pretty intense at times. It’s probably a good call - Master Hand really knows what he’s doing. You can’t imagine how  _ Super Smash Bros. _ would be without him and his brother. 

“We’re all finished up here,” Peach says, “so perhaps we should continue the tour? We could go look at the stadium if you’d like, Daisy.”

“Oh yeah, I almost forgot! Let’s go!!” The Sarasaland princess grabs you by the arm once again and begins to lead you back outside. You take one last glance to the set behind you, just to see someone setting the Smash logo on fire. The inferno makes it look a lot bigger than it actually is - as if someone has contained a giant sun in this comparatively tiny building.

Golly, you hope nothing goes horribly wrong here!

But, you are sure it’ll be fine. Everything is okay. The fear is completely out of your mind now! As the three of you walk to the massive stadium, you totally and effectively squash down the thought of a fire spreading on your property and burning everything down. Yep, definitely not thinking about that! Ha ha…

“Oh, look! I think that’s Wii Fit Trainer!” 

Peach is right - as you walk into the stadium, you see WFT is running laps around the field, but she’s also not the only one here. Ness is here too, doing some practice swings with a baseball bat. After watching him for a few moments, Daisy suddenly yells:

“OH, I KNOW! WE SHOULD PLAY BASEBALL!!!”

...which makes you jump, and suddenly the others in the stadium turn to look at the three of you. Peach just giggles, unaffected by her friend’s behaviour.

“That sounds like a wonderful idea! We haven’t played a game since the  _ Brawl  _ days, have we? Not back home,  _ or  _ during  _ Smash Bros. _ tournament season.”

You can’t help but ask: “Why not?”

Peach puts a finger to her face, humming in thought. “...I’m not quite sure! Well… with regards to the  _ Super Smash Brothers _ participants, I think it’s because there are just certain people nobody wants to play with.”

“Which people are those?” Daisy asks. Peach takes another moment to think.

“...I believe the main one is Sonic the Hedgehog - a lot of people think his speed is unfair. I imagine everyone would be happy to play if he wasn’t involved!” 

You’re not sure why his speed wasn’t banned from the game in the first place, but you decide not to ask for now. “Well, he’s not here--” You have to refrain from saying “yet” so not to tip off the others to a roster inclusion, “--so uh, we could probably get a game going.”

“Yessssss!” Daisy pumps her fists and, to your surprise, starts booking it out of the stadium. “I’M GONNA GO ROUND EVERYBODY UP!!”

“Wait, I didn’t mean… right now.” Aaaand, she’s gone. You guess this is happening now. Peach lets out a giggle and offers a reassuring touch on the arm. 

“Aww, don’t mind her - she’s always like this. Anyways, I should go help her find anyone who wants to play!” After asking Ness and WFT if they want to play (to which they say yes), Peach leaves the stadium to follow Daisy’s footsteps. While they are gone, you introduce yourself to Wii Fit Trainer and thoughtfully inform her of the fitness rooms on the property. She invites you to be her workout buddy, but you give an incredibly non-committal answer. Whoops. The three of you eventually settle on setting up the stadium for a baseball game, finding all the equipment and setting it out in the appropriate locations.

When Daisy and Peach finally return, you’re surprised that they managed to get EVERYONE to the stadium for this upcoming baseball game. You imagine Daisy isn’t the type of person to take “no” for an answer though, so that may have been part of the persuasion process. 

“You know, this might not actually be that bad,” you hear Falco say to Fox and Link. “It was actually pretty fun back in the  _ Melee  _ days. And without that speedy little  _ freak  _ around, it’ll be just like old times.”

“This crowd is almost the same size as back then too,” Samus says, joining the conversation with the Hylian princess at her side. 

“It’s just a shame everyone from back then isn’t here with us,” Zelda adds.

“Aw, don’t worry,” Fox says, “I’m sure we’ll be seeing some of them again this season. We could always get in another game down the line. Besides, it’ll be fun seeing some of the newbies play.”

They look to the male and female Inklings, who seem to be trying to practice throwing a ball back and forth. Orange throws the ball too hard, and it smacks Blue in the head, knocking him right off his feet. Orange silently panics, glancing around to see if anyone saw that.

“Oh geez,” you mutter as you rush over to make sure Blue was okay. You try to help him up, but he seems unsteady and starts asking why he’s seeing two of everyone.

“Ouch, that’s gotta smart,” Daisy says from behind you, having come over as well. “Hmm, well, we needed a scorekeeper anyways! Think you’re up to it, Blue?”

Blue gives a shaky thumbs up, and Orange helps him over to the benches. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Luigi hanging his head in… disappointment, perhaps? Did he like being scorekeeper? Aw, maybe next time, buddy. You’re sure playing the game has to be more fun, anyways!

“Alright, looks like we’re ready to start!” Daisy pumps her fists, and you notice how quickly she’s getting fired up. With a pause, she turns to address you real quick: “Hey, this is everybody, right? Peachy said so, but I just want to check with you and make sure.”

You scan the crowd and go through your mental checklist of all the Smashers that have arrived thus far. Unless there is somebody you don’t know about, yeah, you’re pretty sure this is everybody. You open your mouth to tell this to Daisy, but you suddenly feel a  _ push  _ on your realm, as if someone or something was entering, and seconds later something whips past you so quickly that it creates a fierce gust of wind. When you turn in the direction the force went, you see this new and blue arrival relaxing on the bench with a cocky smile on his face.

“Hey guys, you didn’t forget about me, did you?”

There’s an audible groan throughout the stadium. Falco throws his imaginary hat down in disgust. 

_ Sonic the Hedgehog has joined the game! _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next time: BASEBALL!!!!
> 
> i've been wanting to write the next chapter since i started the fic, so i hope everyone likes it when it comes out. thanks for reading!!


	7. who's ready for BASEBALL?!?!?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and the Smashers play a very standard and lawful game of baseball.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so my laptop got funky this last week and i had to type a majority of this chapter on my phone. if any of it seems sloppy, that is probably why and i apologize in advance. regardless, this was a fun chapter to write and i have been anticipating it for a long time, so i hope everyone also has fun reading it!!

“Oh HECK no, I'm out of here!” Falco starts storming towards the exit of the stadium, but Daisy is quick to intercept him, blocking anyone from leaving.

“What, you're just going to quit like that? Scared you're gonna  _ lose?” _

“You're new here so you don't know this, but playing any game with that guy  _ sucks _ .” Falco tries to move around Daisy, but she keeps getting in his way. “C’mon, it's a waste of time to fight a losing battle!”

“I don't blame you if you want to throw in the towel already,” Sonic says from his place on the bleachers with a confident grin. “I mean, your chance of beating me is…” He pauses to count on his fingers before he grins again. “... _ basically _ zero.”

“Oh, you're going DOWN, hedgehog!” Daisy says, grinning right back, then raises her voice to address everyone. “Anyone who wants to see this guy eat dirt, stick around because we're playing ball RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW  _ no matter what! _ Team Daisy vs Team Sonic! Best team wins! Who's with me?!”

Peach giggles. “You know I've always got your back. Of course I'll play!”

“Your speech really got to me right here,” Samus says drily, tapping the area where her heart is. She chuckles and drops the sarcasm. “Yeah, I'll play too. I want to be here to see that guy lose.”

Pikachu cheers confidently, emitting sparks. It says:  _ ‘I don't care who I'm facing - I'm not going to lose!’ _

Gradually, all the Smashers warm up to the idea again. You're not sure if everyone is  _ really  _ competitive, or they just  _ really  _ want to see Sonic get knocked down a peg. You do, however, notice Luigi trying to sneak out, but Daisy catches him.

“Luigi! Where do you think you're going?!” She pulls him into a headlock with a laugh, and starts giving him a noogie. “You HAVE to play with us! You're gonna be on my team, right??  _ Right??” _

“O-Okay!” The poor plumber helps. “J-Just please stop noogieing Luigi!”

“Yeah, that's what I wanted to hear!” Daisy lets him go, entirely unapologetic, then slaps Luigi on the back, almost knocking him over. “Does anyone else need convincing?!”

“Fine, I'll play!” Falco exclaims, pushing out of the crowd that has gathered around him. He was the last naysayer, so now it looks like everyone is ready to play again.

“Alright!” Daisy exclaims. “Everyone line up - we're gonna pick teams!” She turns to Sonic, who hops off of the bench to stand next to Daisy. “Who picks first?”

“Ladies first,” the hedgehog says in a half-mocking tone. Daisy isn't offended, using the same tone right back at him.

“Aw, what a gentleman! Well let's see, first I pick…” She pretends to hum in thought while looking at the selection, quickly beaming and throwing her arms open. “Peachy! You're on my team!!”

“Hooray!” Peach giggles and joins Daisy, hugging her along the way. Sonic watches the exchange smugly - clearly, Peach wasn't on his radar anyways.

“Alright, then I'll take… Captain Falcon.”

Falcon does a fist pump and jogs over to Sonic, giving him a fist bump. You get the impression that they think they’ve already won, being some of the “better” players present.

It takes you a few moments before you realize Daisy is calling your name.

“Wh-What? Me? I'm playing??” You were content to just end up watching the game unfold - you didn't know you had been drafted into the roster too!

“Of course you are!” Daisy exclaims, beckoning you over. “C’mon - you'll be our secret weapon!”

You don't think you have any particular skills that qualify you to be a secret weapon, but you shuffle over to her side anyways. Peach gives you a reassuring pat on the arm.

“I pick Ness.”

As Ness walks over to Sonic’s side, Peach whispers to Daisy, who then says: “Zelda! You're with us!”

Next, the hedgehog looks at Samus. “Sam-- uhhhhh…” He trails off when he catches the wicked death glare the bounty hunter gives him, then with an awkward, fearful smile he moves his gaze to someone else. “Pikachu! I choose you, haha...”

The rodent lets out a series of triumphant and gloating sparks before hopping to Sonic’s side.

“Samus! Come join the winning team!”

“Thought you'd never ask,” Samus remarks as she joins the princesses, previous hostility gone. Sonic looks a bit miffed by the loss, but he recovers quickly.

“Mario!”

“Get over here, Luigi!”

“Link’s with me!”

“Jigglypuff!”

“Fox!”

“Falco!!”

Falco groans when Daisy calls his name, muttering something unintelligible under his breath. Nobody pays him any mind.

“Donkey Kong!”

“Lucina!”

The swordswoman exhales a shaky breath upon being called. Before she can join her team, someone puts a hand on her shoulder.

“Hey,” Robin says with a warm smile, “you're gonna do great, okay? Just try your best and everything will be fine.”

Lucina smiles back, looking more at ease. “Thank you, mother.”

“Robin! You're on our team!”

At the call, Robin’s expression still retains its smile, but something about it seems more threatening. “I love you, my sweet child, but you better start praying for the gods because you are  _ going down.” _

Lucina chokes on her surprise as her mother walks to Sonic’s side and starts giving her teammates high fives. Mechanically, Lucina walks over to stand beside you, and you try to comfort her with a shoulder pat.

The selection continues until nobody is left. Team Daisy includes you, Peach, Zelda, Samus, Luigi, Jigglypuff, Falco, Lucina, Shulk, Kirby, Olimar, orange Inkling, and Mr. Game & Watch. Sonic’s team consists of Captain Falcon, Ness, Pikachu, Mario, Link, Fox, Robin, Donkey Kong, Diddy Kong, Villager, Marth, Wii Fit Trainer, and Yoshi. R.O.B. joins blue Inkling at the scoreboard so the teams stay even.

After everyone puts on a baseball cap with the  _ Smash Bros. _ logo sewn on, there’s a quick tutorial to make sure everyone knows how to play. Following that, everyone gets set up on the field so the game may begin. Team Sonic is first up to bat. Since your whole team is too big to be on the field at once, you've volunteered to sit on the bench for the first round. You want to see what you're getting into before you jump in and potentially throw the game for your team.

First at the bat is Sonic himself, looking totally nonchalant about the whole thing. Daisy is pitching. With a wicked grin, she winds up the throw and-- oh! It's a curveball!! Sonic looks totally unprepared for this development! The ball flies towards him, and, and…!

Everything happens so fast, you almost miss how the hedgehog swings the bat and sends the ball out of the park. You and all the inexperienced players present watch it in awe, while the rest are either cheering or sighing, depending on what team they're on. Sonic has already done his victory lap by the time you look back to the field, and Captain Falcon is coming up to the plate.

“...just a warm-up round,” you hear Daisy mutter, her determination undeterred. If anything, she looks even  _ more _ determined to win. Her face is sporting an uncharacteristic seriousness as she prepares herself for the next pitch.

“We're screwed,” Falco groans from beside you. You are admittedly feeling a bit discouraged after that, but Sonic is only one guy! Surely him alone wouldn't cost them the match, right? And there is fourteen of you! There must be a way to counter him…

Captain Falcon hits the ball. It thankfully doesn't breach the stadium limits like Sonic’s did, but it does end up pretty far. Jigglypuff rolls to where the ball lands in the outfield and immediately sends it to Samus, who whips it to Luigi at second base. The man in green fumbles to catch it, but by the time he's lunging to tag Captain Falcon, the F-Zero racer is doing a backflip over Luigi’s head, and lands safely on the base. He poses triumphantly, and his teammates go wild.

This… may be harder than you thought.

* * *

 

Alright, so the other team  _ almost  _ hit double digits in that first inning. It's fine! This is only the beginning - your team has plenty of time to catch up. 

Daisy is up to bat first. Somehow, she convinced you into going second. Nervousness blurs your vision as you watch Daisy hit the ball, sending it between players and down the field. She slides to first base just in time.

Now… it's your turn.

You feel like you're dissociating as you walk up to the plate and pick up the bat. You're going to make such a fool of yourself! No matter how you hold the bat, it doesn't feel right. Oh well, you may as well accept this loss so someone who actually knows what they're doing can give it a go.

“Hold on! Time out!”

Daisy jogs over to you with a smile, and you just stare at her in confusion. Before you can ask what she's doing, Daisy starts adjusting your position.

“You gotta stand sideways, like this! Spread your legs and bend your knees a bit! And your hands should be like this!” You feel your face heat up as she moves your body into the correct stance. When she pulls away to give you a once-over, you have to resist the urge to move into a less silly position. You forget to breathe in the process, and it does nothing to help your lightheadedness.

“Yeah, now you got it!” Daisy grins and gives you a thumbs up, and you find yourself giving an automatic, empty smile back. “Just remember to relax and have fun! Okay, we're ready to play!” She gives a signal to all the other players and starts jogging back to first base, looking back to address you one last time: “You're gonna do great! I believe in you!!”

No pressure or anything.

You sigh and move your eyes back to the pitcher, Link. To your surprise, he hesitates a moment before giving you a thumbs up with a questioning expression, asking if you're okay. Sheesh, you must look super nervous. You steel your nerves and nod, giving a thumbs up back. Satisfied, Link smiles and gets into position. Pausing just a moment, he readies he pitch… and... throws!

You're pretty sure he's going easy on you, but you still manage to whiff your swing completely. You exhale a deep breath in an attempt to relax, but you don't think it helped. Daisy yells “YOU CAN DO IT!” and you're not sure if it makes you feel better or worse.

Link readies the second pitch. He throws it in a similar manner to last time, so you time your swing more carefully and…! 

“Foul ball!”

“Agh!” You can't help but let out a groan of frustration as you watch the ball go over the line and nearly hit a cardboard box in the foul zone. Hold on, what is that? Did someone leave that there? “Can someone get that off the field?” you yell, and R.O.B. and blue Inkling come down from their spot near the scoreboard to deal with it.

You are so focused on the next pitch, that you don't notice how the box seemingly sprouts legs and runs under the bleachers as soon as the two try to pick it up. Blue is so startled, R.O.B. has to escort him back to the scoreboard so he can sit down.

We return to the game, ignoring that silly foreshadowing nonsense that just happened.

The ball is coming towards you. You hit it! The crowd goes wild! You are so happy that you almost forget to run. Not that it matters, because Fox leaps and catches the ball in midair, meaning you’re out. Darn it! Thankfully, Daisy managed to backpedal to first base quick enough to stay on the field.

“That was a good try!” Peach says as you return to the bench, prompting Samus to get up and walk to the plate. “I’m sure you’ll have better luck next time.”

“I kinda doubt that,” you mumble, watching as Samus hits the ball and books it to first base. Both she and Daisy make it to their bases. Inkling is up next. You clear your throat and raise your voice to speak to Peach further. “So uh, are there any like… restrictions to this? We didn’t really talk about it before.”

The current umpire - Mario - shows Inkling the correct way to hold the bat. When she does a practice swing, Mario has to duck to avoid getting hit. “Whatever do you mean?” Peach asks, legitimately confused about what you’re asking.

“Say, for example…” The first pitch comes in, and Inkling twirls around as she misses. “...shouldn’t Sonic, I dunno, nerf his own speed or something? To make things more fair?”

Inkling hits the second ball, and instead of sprinting like you expected, she removes the Splattershot from her back and shoots ink puddles onto the ground, wasting no time turning into a squid and expertly jumping through them. At the last one, she leaps out and sees the ball being thrown back towards the bases, so she throws an ink bomb at it. The mini explosion sends the ball backwards, prompting Daisy to take this chance to run to home plate. Pikachu tries to whack the ball there with its tail, but the ink causes its tail to slip and it doesn’t go as far as intended. Link dives to catch the ball, but Sonic beats him to it despite coming from the other side of the field. Unfortunately for them, he still wasn’t quick enough - Daisy reaches home base less than a second before the ball comes in, and Mario’s cry of “Safe!” has your whole team cheering. You have your first point!

“The game is most fair when everyone can freely use their talents to play,” Peach says once the excitement dies down, reminding you that you were in the middle of a conversation before the game distracted you. “You might think some talents are better than others, but  _ everyone  _ has weaknesses.”

“And the best part is finding those weaknesses and exploiting them,” Zelda chimes in, with a somewhat devious smile. “Sure, Sonic has the speed, but he’s cocky and doesn’t work well with others. He’ll let us get runs because he believes he’ll win no matter what. He may have more advantage here compared to the tournament since speed  _ is  _ a big part of the game, but he’s definitely not impossible to beat.”

You think about the abilities some of the  _ Smash  _ participants have, and you can’t help but feel certain ones would be overpowered anyways. Is it a competitive thing? You can’t help but think about how  _ confident  _ some of the Smashers look despite their competition. The way Zelda watches the game is almost calculating, like she’s trying to figure out the best way to outsmart each opponent. You imagine Robin, being a tactician, is the same way… which makes it a shame that she’s not on your team. You watch as said tactician uses wind magic to blow away ink and prevent Inkling from reaching second base. Unable to recover fast enough, the squidkid is Out, sticking her tongue out at the tacitian before she leaves the field. 

“Alright but the  _ actual  _ explanation,” Falco starts, bringing you out of your focus, “is that if we had a bunch of rules, you’d just have a bunch of people trying to cheat  _ all the time _ . Seriously.”

“This is also true,” Zelda says without hesitation, still smiling. Peach nods in agreement, and Luigi sighs from further down on the bench. You recall the conversation from yesterday about the Smashers always finding ways to bend the rules set by the host of the previous tournament. Yeah, rules are pretty much pointless (and perhaps detrimental) with these guys.

“Rules are lame, anyways!” Daisy exclaims, pulling away from the fence where she was watching the game with rapt interest. “If I’m gonna win, I wanna win when everyone is at their best! It doesn’t mean anything if everyone has to hold back.”

“I concur,” Lucina says, and several others agree as well. Suddenly, Daisy’s grin widens and she grabs Lucina’s arm, pulling the startled swordswoman to her feet.

“Oh, you should go next, Lucy! C’mon, let’s see what you got!”

“Erm, well, i-if you insist…”

You don’t _quite_ catch up to the other team’s score before the next inning.

* * *

 

The teams switch when Donkey Kong climbs up a pole and tosses Diddy to catch an otherwise homerun ball. Falco throws down his baseball hat in disgust and stomps on his way to the outfield. You also end up in the outfield, upon Daisy’s suggestion.

Daisy seems to be trying to get everyone to try different roles to figure out what they are best at - a contrast to the other team, who  _ mostly  _ stick to the same roles each time. There  _ are  _ more old veterans on the other team, so you suppose they must all know their strengths already. It’s definitely giving them the edge in the early stages of the game, while the rest of you are bumbling around to figure out what the heck you’re doing.

Pikachu is the first to step up to the plate, sparks flying from its cheeks as it grabs the bat using its mouth. It shouts a muffled _ ‘do your worst!’ _ as it readies itself for the pitch. Zelda throws the ball with surprising strength, and Pikachu hits it hard before bolting up the field. The ball flies a shocking distance coming from someone so small (and swinging so awkwardly) - far enough that you have the opportunity to catch it.

“I got it!” you shout as you reach for it - and you instinctively catch it in your ungloved hand, making you receive a hearty shock from the residual electricity. “Ouch!” You drop the ball like a total doofus, and it hits the grass. Did the rodent plant the electricity purposefully? From what you’ve seen of it, Pikachu is certainly devious enough to do something like that, so you wouldn’t doubt it for a second. 

Mr. Game & Watch manages to cartwheel to your location and scoop up the ball, but unfortunately your fumble let Pikachu safely make it to second base. The electric mouse does a little jig and shakes its tail at you tauntingly. That electrical stunt was  _ definitely  _ on purpose - you’re gonna have to be wary of more tricks like that.

Donkey Kong steps up to bat, and you already know this is probably going to be a homerun - if not, it’s definitely ending up in the outfield. You prepare yourself to make a run for it, aaaand…

Yeah, that definitely looks like a homerun, but that doesn’t deter your teammates! You watch as Mr. Game & Watch trampolines into the air, and… just barely misses the ball! Oh no! As he parachutes down, you notice that Kirby jumped on the trampoline as well, and when he’s at the apex of the launch, he starts inhaling as hard as he can. Sure enough, the ball changes trajectories and gets sucked into his mouth. This apparently counts as catching the ball, because DK’s jaw drops and he leaves the field with his head hanging low.

“Good job, Kirby!” you say after the puffball spits the ball back towards the bases. He smiles at your compliment and bounces excitedly, immediately shifting to a determined stance as someone else comes up to the plate. You think you are starting to see what Peach meant by strengths and weaknesses. If your team can keep this up, maybe you DO have a chance to win this!

* * *

 

As the teams switch places, blue Inkling comes down with a new ball on account of the previous one being burnt to a crisp by the last batter (what the heck, Mario??). You watch as Zelda hits the ball and runs faster than you expected she was capable of - though when you think about it, Sheik  _ is  _ one of the faster Smashers, so it would make sense that Zelda is also capable of that speed when she’s not being hindered by her dress (as proven before you).

As much as recent tournaments have treated them like different people, you are  _ pretty sure _ Sheik and Zelda are one and the same. Though they could perhaps be from different timelines…

Jigglypuff scoots to first base with a powerful roll that knocks Marth over. Next is Peach, who bats the ball somewhat daintily, but whatever pink mystery power she’s capable of makes it curve around Diddy Kong as he tries to dive for it, and he faceplants into the dirt as a result. Next batter is Game & Watch, who hits a respectable 2 - not the best, but it causes Ness to trip suddenly. Sonic stops relaxing in the outfield and zips across the field to snatch the ball before a nearby Link can grab it, and gets Jigglypuff out. The balloon Pokemon puffs up in frustration and storms off the field. 

Shulk is up to bat next, but he is quickly gotten out when Sonic uses Mario as a footstool to snag the ball. You have to wonder if it's not  _ just  _ his speed that makes him unpleasant to play with, but also because he's a bit of a jerk.

It’s your turn again. Your team has two outs.

No pressure or anything!

Captain Falcon is pitching for you, and you try to not let that distract you. You still haven't forgotten The Incident with him (as much as you try to) so it takes all your strength to squash down your embarrassment and focus on the game. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like he's going to go easy on you regardless - with a grin, he throws you the craziest fastball you've had to deal with yet, and you whiff it completely. As he winds up for the next pitch, he winks.

“Don't worry honey, I'll make this one easy for you.” And you are so flustered that you don't even swing when the ball passes you, despite it being noticeably slower. No!! Why is this happening to you again?! You want to crawl under the benches and  _ perish _ . Or throw the bat at his stupid face - both would likely alleviate your woes.

The third ball is also slow, and you do manage to hit this one! ...Right into the foul zone. It soars up the bleachers and lands snugly in R.O.B.’s robotic clamp. He glances down at the ball silently, then hands it to the blue Inkling. We witness a very tender and heartwarming moment between a father and son at their first baseball game. Later, the father will ask his son’s favourite player to sign the ball, and his son will jump for joy with a twinkle in his eye, vowing to become a major league baseball player when he grows up and make his pop-pop proud--

Yeah, no, Blue just tosses the ball back to the field with a blank expression. He doesn’t care.

* * *

 

“Why don’t you try being pitcher?” Daisy offers, already directing you to the center of the field. You recognize quickly that you’re not getting a choice here, so you swallow down your protests and let her teach you how to throw the ball. Once you tell her you got the hang of it, she wishes you luck and jogs to her position at first base. With a deep breath, you get ready to play.

First up at bat is…

“Hold on, has he always been here?” Villager is at the plate, taking some practice swings. You don’t remember him arriving at the mansion, and since the teams are even, he must have shown up before the game started. You hope someone could explain his arrival to you, but no one seems to have heard your question, so you just shake it off and wind up your throw.

Villager does not hit as hard as most of the other Smashers, but this keeps his ball closer to the ground. As it is being thrown to first, the kid makes it to the base, doing a little dance when he is safe.

Next is Ness.

You expect a similar performance from him considering he is also a kid - not to mention, his talents lie in psychic powers instead of physical strength - but you’re surprised when he confidently points his bat to the sky, signalling he’s going for a homerun. The rest of his team starts hollering like a bunch of wild animals. You know Ness is one of the oldest veterans there is so his talents wouldn’t be a secret, but you can’t help but wonder if this is overconfidence. Could he  _ really  _ hit it out of the park? Just like that?

_ SMAAAAASH! _

The answer is yes. Yes he can.

You stare in awe as the ball soars out of the field’s limits. Villager skips the rest of the way around the bases, while Ness calmly walks with a big smile on his face. Yeah, you probably shouldn’t underestimate any of these Smashers. Ever.

Marth comes up to the plate, and you’re relieved when he doesn’t demonstrate any hidden talents. Someone gets him out before he returns to home base.

* * *

 

Your team is starting to pick up steam in the points department with a few back-to-back homeruns. Mr. Game & Watch hits the incredibly blessed 9 and sends the ball soaring, while Jigglypuff manages to somehow land the powerful and precise  _ Rest  _ on it. You don’t know how that works, but apparently it does.

Peach doesn’t hit a homerun, but she has an easy walk after the majority of both teams have fallen asleep from Jigglypuff’s song. The game then has to be paused for ten minutes, because even the scorekeepers have fallen asleep, and that’s just how long it takes for everybody to wake back up.

* * *

 

Miraculously, the next time Sonic is up to bat, he does not hit a homerun. Now, the bases are loaded, with Sonic on first, Link on second, and Wii Fit Trainer on third. Diddy Kong is up to bat, and Shulk is your pitcher. You are standing at third base. 

You watch as Shulk winds up for a pitch, then suddenly freezes before he can release the throw. His eyes flash blue, and he immediately whirls around and chucks the ball at second base. “Lucina! To your left!”

“What??” Despite her confusion, Lucina catches the ball and holds blindly it to her left - and not a moment too soon. In that split second, Sonic made to try and steal second base, but instead bonks his head into the baseball. He does not move, face frozen between smugness and confusion, as if he can’t register what just happened. The field is silent in similar awe, before finally:

“...Sonic’s OUT!”

Your team starts hooting and hollering at the realization, as if they just won the entire game. Several of your teammates congratulate Shulk or rush over to give him a high five, and he responds somewhat awkwardly, overwhelmed by the attention. When his gaze meets yours, you give him a thumbs up, and he just stares with a strained expression unsure on how to respond. He might need a break, that poor Monado Boy.

But when you glance over to Daisy on outfield, she has a glint in her eye, so you have a feeling he’s not going to be taken off pitching duties anytime soon.

You see Sonic shoot the blond a dirty look as he marches off the field. Looks like  _ revenge  _ might be in the kid’s future.

* * *

 

“Okay, THIS time I’ll get it for sure!” Lucina says as she walks up to the plate, Falchion in hand. She does not pick up the bat.

“Is she allowed to use the sword?” you ask, and beside you Samus just shrugs.

“I don’t see why not.”

You are pretty sure there are hundreds of reasons “why not”, but no one seems to be protesting. Man, this really is a lawless game.

Captain Falcon winds up the pitch, and…! Lucina actually hits it! Her expression breaks into a relieved smile before she starts running to first base, and she manages to make it due to the other team’s hesitation on how to proceed.

“Does-a anyone have the rest?” Mario asks, holding up only  _ half  _ of the ball. The sword cut it cleanly in half when it hit! On the other side of the field, Link holds up the other half with a questioning expression, not sure what to do with it. 

“Just keep playing!” Daisy shouts with a mischievous smile. Mario and Link both shrug and toss each half back to Captain Falcon. He’s at a loss on how to pitch it for a moment, eventually deciding to just put them together and do it like normal. Zelda whispers to Daisy, who tells Olimar he’s up next, and you quickly realize why - when he arrives at the plate, he holds one bat in his own hands, and gives another to a stack of Pikmin. He is prepared to hit both pieces! 

When Falcon pitches the ball, it (as expected) breaks apart into its two halves as it soars through the air. Both Olimar and the Pikmin hit them, and they go flying in different directions. Donkey Kong catches one half, but the other half hits the ground, which means only the Pikmin have to leave the field - Olimar can keep running! As the dejected Pikmin return to the bench, Olimar trips and the antenna on his space suit  _ boinks  _ against the plate for first base. He is safe. Lucina has also made it to second base by scaring Link with a loud war cry and a hand on her sword (which she took with her for some reason), prompting him to miss his chance to get her out.

Somehow, this situation is turning out much better than you ever could have imagined.

Luigi steps up to the plate, and you notice how he has gotten more and more confident as the game has gone on. He fumbled at the beginning, but perhaps your team’s steady comeback has emboldened him! Perhaps, you will bear witness to the Green Thunder of legend before this game is over?! There’s a fire in Luigi’s eyes as he positions himself, ready for whatever Falcon throws at him. The opposing racer seems to sense his determination and grins in response, signalling that he’s not going easy on him.

Falcon gives Luigi a fastball, and the two halves fly out of sync! But Luigi is not deterred - he may have even been  _ prepared  _ for this?! - and hits the first half with the power of green flame. Quickly, his body does a 360, and he hits the second half with a burst of lightning! It’s the Fire-Thunderhand combo! Nobody is prepared for this! Mario and Pikachu have to dive in to collect each half after others are damaged by the elemental power, and this gives everyone a chance to run an extra base, scoring you a point. Both halves are scorched, but still useable for the time being. The game can continue.

Kirby waddles over to the plate and picks up the bat, face scrunching up in determination. Here comes the pitch - oh, each half is curving in a different trajectory - and… AND…!

Kirby drops the bat and inhales both halves in one motion, then immediately swallows them. He smiles and makes a pleased sound.

“He says they smelled like a barbeque,” you translate helpfully, and half of the Smashers shake their head and roll their eyes. Blue Inkling throws down another baseball from the collection beside him.

* * *

 

Before you know it, more than half of the outfield is covered in orange ink. 

“How did this happen??” you wonder aloud as you stare at the zig-zag trails of ink. The first ball had flown near Inkling, so she had been the one to obtain it, but it felt like each one was just a tiny bit further away, so it had been natural for her to keep chasing them. And now her ink paths are  _ everywhere _ . Obviously, it’s worrying, because everyone else has difficulty traversing through the stuff. Daisy got Lucina to switch out with Olimar, who can use Winged Pikmin to fly over the goop. Peach’s hover ability also resulted in her moving back. The rest of your team is either too slow or can’t cover enough distance with their high jumps, so you all have to stay away from that area.

Robin approaches the plate with a smug look.

“Aww, what’s wrong you guys?” she asks, playfully swinging the bat. “Feeling a bit stuck in the mud? Or should I say… the ink?”

“We’ve been set up!” you realize, mouth falling agape as you put two and two together. Of course - there’s no way the ball would  _ coincidentally  _ follow a similar trajectory so many times in a row. Lucina gasps from the bench.

“Mother! Did you plan for this all along?!”

“Whaaaat? You think I’d do something like that?” Instead of confirming or denying the accusation, Robin just laughs and swings the bat lazily again. “C’mon Shulk! Give me your best shot.”

Shulk looks around nervously to look for advice, but no one has any to give. With an exhale, he pitches the ball and Robin easily hits it. 

As expected, it flies towards the ink-infested area.

It’s out of Peach’s range, and Olimar’s Pikmin are too slow to reach it before it hits the ground. Inkling leaps out of the ink and throws the ball at first base, but Robin manages to make it in time. You realize with growing dread that you  _ need  _ to switch things up fast, because this is hugely disadvantageous for your team. 

Thankfully, the other team gave you some easy Outs to set up this trick, so you only have to get one more.

As Yoshi comes out to bat, Kirby suddenly awakens from his slumber and rushes to Shulk, desperately asking to switch places. He wants to pitch this one! After you translate and Daisy gives the okay with a shrug, Shulk gives Kirby the ball and moves to where the puffball had been. After Kirby makes a happy noise, his expression turns serious and he turns his baseball cap backwards. Yoshi mimics his expression, and it's as if a fire has ignited between the two. You remember how Yoshi stole Kirby’s snack yesterday, so you assume this is an attempt at serving justice.

Yoshi does a mock-swing and yells a challenge:  _ ‘Betcha can't get me out!’ _

Kirby puffs up his cheeks and starts the wind up.  _ ‘I'll make you eat those words!!!’  _ He spins his arm around and around and around to build up power.  _ ‘Just like how you always eat my cool treats!!!!!!!!!’ _

_ ‘It’s only because you always eat mine!’ _ The dialogue stops, because this is no longer the time for idle talk. Yoshi readies his swing with a focused hum.

Kirby’s arm starts spinning faster. It is now on fire. The ball is covered in flames.

Yoshi has dropped the bat and is doing a series of efficient flutter kicks and ground pounds. He's going for the whole 1350 feet! But will he rack up enough damage before the countdown runs out?

Kirby continues picking up speed, and now his entire body is on fire. He is screaming - not in pain, but because he _ needs more power. _

The timer reaches one, and Yoshi quickly picks up the bat just as Kirby throws the flaming ball. Yoshi manages to hit the sweet spot, and the bat literally  _ shatters  _ as the ball is sent soaring across the field.

Yeah, that's definitely a homerun.

But wait, what's this?! During that intense power up sequence, Falco made his way to the back of the stadium. When the ball approaches, he leaps from the wall and kicks his deflector out, and it hits the ball to bring it back into the field. Peach floats above the ink and catches the ball, then maneuvers herself to land in a clear spot. Seeing his technique be defeated so easily, Yoshi cries out and falls to the ground, defeated. Sorry buddy, maybe you'll unlock that stage next time.

You all take another short break so Mario can clean up the ink with FLUDD. Lukewarm juice boxes are served as sustenance.

* * *

 

This is it: the final inning. Your team is only a few points behind, but you also already have two Outs. One mistake could cost you the game. Fortunately, you have the bases loaded, so if your next batter can just get a homerun, you  _ win _ .

Unfortunately, the next batter is  _ you _ .

“A-Are you sure you want me to do it?” you ask, because you've been pretty…  _ bad _ this whole game. You must be the only player on both teams that hasn't managed to return to home base even once. Surely, literally anyone else would be a better choice! But Daisy just gives you a reassuring smile and a slap on the back as she ushers you out to the plate. 

“Heck yeah I do! I believe in you!” Hearing that makes you feel warm, but it does nothing to quell the self-doubt inside. Noticing this, her expression sobers up a little bit.

“Hey, you've had fun playing with us, right?”

Taken aback by the question, you nearly trip over your response. “O-Of course!” Though to be fair, it’s not like you were involved in any of the amazing plays. If you had just been watching the game instead of participating, you likely would be having the same amount of fun. But you don’t say this aloud.

“Then that's all that matters!” Daisy's grin returns. “Winning is great and all, but if you're not having fun along the way, then what's the point??”

You’re a bit surprised to hear her say this, considering how competitive she seemed at the beginning of the game, but you know she’s right. 

You just really don’t want to let anyone down.

“Just give it your best shot!” And Daisy hands you the bat, which you take with some hesitation. You wish she’d take your turn instead, but she smiles and runs off the field. You’re just going to have to get this over with. You sigh and get into position.

“Time out!” You’re surprised to see Sonic rush to the front of the field and say “I’ll handle this” as he relieves Captain Falcon of his pitching duties. Both of the speed demons share a wicked grin, and your face pales.

“Good luck, sweetheart!” Falcon says to you as he runs to outfield. You don’t even feel the embarrassment this time, because you are too busy  _ freaking the heck out _ . Sonic the Hedgehog is now the pitcher, taking it upon himself to make dang sure there is  _ no way  _ your team is going to win this game.

You are  _ absolutely  _ not going to hit this ball.

“Strike one!”

A squeak escapes your lips as the ball whips past you. You tried to be ready, but nerves got the better of you and you couldn’t even  _ attempt  _ a swing! This is so pathetic!! Is there a rule that says you can switch out the batter between strikes??

“Strike two!”

You actually did swing that time, but your timing was far too late. This is impossible! Sonic has a super confident smirk on his face - he  _ knows  _ you can’t hit any throw he dishes out. Even if you could, no one expects you to hit it far, if the other team’s proximity to the diamond is any indication. 

“C’MON! YOU CAN DO IT!!”

From the bench, Daisy is cheering your name alongside words of encouragement, and the rest of your team is quick to join in. To your surprise, even some members of the opposing team start cheering you on - Robin, Marth, Link, and Falcon start hollering, and Sonic’s look of disbelief in their direction does nothing to stop them. It quickly becomes a cacophony of noise, and you can barely pick out what’s being said at all.

While heartwarming, it is admittedly also a bit embarrassing. Your face heats up and your eyes blur, and suddenly you are even more nervous than before. You can’t bear to watch your upcoming failure in motion, so…

...you close your eyes.

With a deep breath, you focus on the energy flowing through your realm. There is no disturbance in the air that goes unnoticed by you, no matter how subtle. It’s a stretch, but maybe if you can’t rely on your  _ eyes _ , then perhaps you can rely on  _ instinct _ . Rely on the humiliation you feel from messing up so many times, and turn that into  _ power _ . 

_ ‘We’re ready.’ _

“Throw the ball!” you shout, with more conviction than you thought possible from your current, anxious state. With your eyes closed and senses focused, you can feel Sonic shrug from his location before he winds up to throw another fastball. You can feel your heart hammering inside you, but you refuse to let yourself focus on that. It feels like the world is moving in slow motion, as you wait for the right time to swing the bat. It’s as if you are relying on reflexes while simultaneously analyzing the situation down to the smallest particle. 

_ ‘Now!!’ _

You swing the bat with all your might. 

The sound it makes when it connects with the ball sounds like  _ thunder _ . The accompanying flash of metaphor-lightning whitens the darkness behind your eyelids.

“HOOOOMERUN!!!”

You open your eyes to see the ball rocketing into the sky. Many members of the opposing team rush for it - including Sonic - but it’s too high for anyone to reach! It cuts through the air as it exits the stadium’s limits and then, without losing momentum, leaves your realm entirely. You’re so focused on the ball’s path that you don’t notice your team rushing towards you until they’ve swarmed you, cheering and congratulating you.

...Oh yeah! You just won the game!!!

“I KNEW you could do it!” Daisy embraces you so tightly that all the air rushes out and you choke. Before you can ask her to, she lets go and grabs your hand, leading you along the path to first base. Your team follows behind you, still cheering and throwing their caps in excitement. “C’mon, you need to do your victory lap!!”

“That was AMAZING,” Zelda says once she squeezes through the crowd to be on your other side. You’re feeling a bit overwhelmed and flustered from the attention, so your voice isn’t working at the moment. “I can’t believe you’ve been holding out on us!”

“I’m going to have to make sure you’re always on my team for these games from now on,” Samus says as she slings an arm around your shoulders. Oh, they want you to join more Shasher activities?? You feel so honoured! You’re not sure if you could replicate a performance like that so you’ll very likely just disappoint everyone, but you can’t help but smile anyways. You almost feel like  _ you’re part of the group _ , and that fills your chest with butterflies. 

“Yeah, I knew we were gonna win all along,” Falco claims nonchalantly, and you can’t help but laugh at that, which he thankfully doesn’t hear. As Sonic approaches your group, Falco yells out “in your face, hedgehog!” which gets an eye roll in response.

“That was cool,” Sonic admits to you, looking a lot more laidback about losing than you thought he’d be. “Guess I shouldn’t have underestimated you, huh?” He holds out his hand to you. “Whaddya say? Wanna play again some time?”

“S-Sure!” you squeak, and shake his hand. Wow! Are you making friends right now? Is that what this is? You feel like the joy could burst from your chest! (And you hope it doesn’t, because that would be messy.)

Most of the opposing team congratulates you, but you notice one person in particular who isn’t taking the loss very well. Pikachu throws its hat to the ground with a loud and frustrated growl, refusing to even look in your direction. Donkey Kong tries to give it a reassuring pat on the back, but Pikachu just yells at him and runs off. You predict a lifetime of pranks and passive-aggressiveness in your future.

Just as you’re completing the lap, you stop in your tracks with a shiver. 

“What’s wrong?” Peach asks, but you barely register the question as you turn to look up at the sky. Within moments, everyone else follows your gaze and they are overcome with a similar awe.

You can only guess that the baseball you sent flying rebounded off something outside of your realm, because it has re-entered and is now plummeting back down to the stadium. Even from this distance, you can tell it hasn’t lost any momentum. It is... coming straight for the half of the stadium everyone is currently in.

“Watch out!” you shout, and the crowd disperses. Once you’re a safe distance away, you take a look at the ball’s trajectory and then to where you predict it’s going to land. In that location, you see Captain Falcon casually chatting with Robin. The tactician notices the ball and backs off, but Falcon is facing away from it, so he just gets a confused look on his face as he sees Robin walking away. As he’s asking what she’s doing, the ball crashes into the back of his head, and he falls down onto his face.

It would be incredibly comical if there wasn’t a chance he was  **_fatally injured_ ** _ oh no it’s all your fault, why did you have to hit the ball so hard, you shouldn’t have used your powers just to win a dumb game-- _

“I’M OKAY!” Falcon yells, and you see his thumbs up among the throng of people that have gathered around him. You breathe a sigh of relief.

“Hold on,” Fox says, gesturing to the ball that’s now lying motionless on the ground. There is smoke rising from it, and the area around it is scorched. “If the ball came back, does that mean it wasn’t actually a homerun? Is the game still on?”

“You saw that swing,  _ of course  _ it was a homerun!” Daisy scoffs, hands on her hips. “We  _ won _ , and that’s that!”

“No, wait, Fox has a point.” As Sonic speaks, many others approach to join the debate as well. “Whenever someone catches the ball outside or brings it back to the field, then it’s still in play. And since this ball came back…”

“We have to define what a homerun is,” Robin says. “If the ball landed outside of the stadium, and someone could teleport to bring it back before the players returned to home plate, could it be treated like a normal play?”

“Stop twisting the facts because you don’t want to accept you lost!” Falco yells, but no one seems to listen to him. The debate continues, with input for both sides. You decide not to get involved - it’s not like you know the rules better than they would. Peach steps to your side with a smile.

“Don’t worry, no matter what,  _ I _ know you’re the  _ real  _ winner of this game.”

You let out an awkward laugh as your face heats up. “Thanks.” Then, you feel the air shimmer once again.

“Uh, guys? I think there might be something more important than who won the game…”

Everyone turns and follows where Shulk is pointing. Another thing has entered the realm from above - this time, it looks like an airship. Black smoke is rising from the ship as it passes overhead, and you realize quickly that it is descending  _ fast _ . Debris is hanging off and threatening to fall, as if the ship took quite a beating before getting here.

“Bowser?!” Mario exclaims, which is an easy deduction once you get a good look at the insignia on the flag. Regardless, you all rush out of the stadium and follow the ship’s path, before it finally crashes roughly into the ground. Thankfully, it lands in a barren expanse of land, so nothing meaningful on your property is damaged.

Several Smashers reach the crashed ship before you, but when you arrive, you are just in time to see Bowser himself stumble off of the ship and fall to the ground. Bowser Jr. climbs down from the mast and lands safely on his feet.

“I-Is everything alright?” Marth asks, out of breath from running for so long. Link and Mario try to help Bowser up, but the Koopa King shoves them both out of the way.

“SOMEBODY ATTACKED MY SHIP!” he roars, and begins stomping angrily. “Who was it?! I’ll rip them to shreds!!”

“Bowser!” Peach approaches with a concerned frown, and Bowser seems to relax slightly at the sight of her. “Calm down - tell us what happened.”

The Koopa King crosses his arms and exhales deeply to reign in a bit of his frustration. “I was on my way here when something from outside started blasting holes in my ship! I didn’t get a good look at it because it kept bouncing around, but it basically a mini cannonball!!” He starts looking around accusingly. “So who was it?!”

You quickly realize  _ exactly  _ what attacked him. It was the stupid baseball you hit! You glance around and notice that some of the other Smashers are giving you looks to varying degrees of bemused or panicked. They’ve come to the same conclusion as you. Is someone going to rat you out…?

“You sure it didn’t come from out there?” Samus asks, referring to the great void that connects the worlds together. “There are tons of monsters out there who attack any traveller they come across. Trust me - I’d know.”

“Yeah, I’m sure plenty of them would jump at the chance to attack such a nice airship,” Zelda adds nonchalantly. Everyone agrees or stays silent, and it seems your secret is safe. 

“We-a didn’t even know you were coming!” Mario says very matter-of-factly. “If none-a us could see you, how would-a we attack you?”

“...You’ve got a point,” Bowser relents, rubbing his chin in thought. “But I don’t remember seeing anybody out there…” You’re worried this conversation is going to continue, but Bowser suddenly gets distracted as he looks over the crowd of Smashers and notices the baseball caps. “Hey! Were you all playing baseball? Gwhahaha, make way for two more - Junior and I are going to join!”

“Sorry Bowser,” Peach says with complete sincerity, “but we already finished the game.”

Bowser’s eyes go wide and his jaw drops. “Wh-What? You all played without me?!”

“We would have made it in time to play if you didn’t get LOST on the way here!” Junior says accusingly, and his dad looks devastated by this absolute  _ betrayal  _ coming from his own flesh-and-blood.

“I told you - we weren’t lost! We were taking a shortcut!!”

Junior frumps and turns away from Bowser, crossing his arms. “Some shortcut that turned out to be!” 

Speechless, Bowser hangs his head in despair. Donkey Kong walks over to pat him on the back, and Bowser lets out a deep sigh. Robin clears her throat.

“Hey, don’t feel down. We have plenty of time before the tournament season ends - I’m sure we can squeeze in another game before we all have to part ways.”

Bowser’s expression brightens, and he’s back to laughing self-assuredly. “Of course - I knew that! And we’ll crush you all when that time comes! Isn’t that right, Junior?!”

Bowser Jr. doesn’t answer for a moment, and a flash of worry passes over his father’s face. But then the lad turns around with a smug grin. “Yeah, we will! We’re gonna OWN you dorks!!” The two of them cackle together, and you feel a pang of joy and relief that things are okay. 

“So, which of you LOSERS are going to show us to our room?!”

Suddenly, all the other Smashers turn and start walking away, claiming they have something very important to do. Bowser looks flabbergasted by the response, but his expression neutrals out once he finally notices you.

“We got one!” Junior cheers, dashing back to the ruined ship and returning with a few bags. He tosses them all at you, and you struggle to catch them. “Hurry up, I wanna see my room!!”

Looks like your day isn’t quite over yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> deleted scene is the baseball scene from high school musical 2. i'll leave it up to you to decide what role each smasher plays.
> 
> NEXT TIME: we get to hang out with bowser and bowser jr - our first villains to arrive at the mansion! what crazy things will the smashers get into? probably nothing major or destructive, but tune in anyways and find out!
> 
> if you wanna talk to me about this fic or smash or anything else, feel free to follow me on twitter! @Yoshichao  
> sometimes i post lil previews of what i'm writing or ask for ideas (the "ball gets split into two" sequence was suggested by a pal, for example!!), so if you're interested then don't be shy!
> 
> as always, thanks for reading!


	8. Koopa Klowning Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You help Bowser and Bowser Jr. get situated at the mansion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i got a new laptop towards the end of the week so HOPEFULLY from now on i'll be able to get chapters done earlier. 
> 
> this was meant to be a shorter chapter but i kept writing in extra scenes and even writing in characters that were going to be introduced NEXT chapter lol. please enjoy!

“Here's the mansion!” you announce needlessly when you enter the front door, with _so_ _many_ bags hanging from your arms and back. You're surprised you made it all the way here without warping (okay, you may have skipped a few steps) because your entire body is _screaming_. The light drizzle that started along the way definitely did not help matters. A chill is invading your bones, and you shiver involuntarily. 

Luigi enters after you with a similar number if bags, because bless his heart, he felt bad that you got stuck carrying everything and turned around to help. You wouldn't have blamed him if he left like everyone else did, but you're grateful he didn't. You really have to find a way to thank him later! 

Then, finally, Bowser and his son walk in. They are carrying nothing. 

“Hmph, this place isn't bad,” Bowser says nonchalantly. You assume that’s the best compliment you’re going to get from the Koopa King, so you let yourself swell with pride. Junior shakes the water droplets off his body right in the middle of the lobby and looks around deviously, imagining what sort of mischief he could get into here. An uneasy feeling wells up inside you.

“I wanna see my room!” the small prince demands, already walking in a random direction and leaving footprints on the floor. Bowser lets out a chuckle and turns to face you and Luigi.

“You and Greenie! Bring us to our room - and it better be a good one, or else!”

The spike of nervousness remains in your gut for a second before you exhale it out and start walking. “This way - all of the rooms are on the upper floors. You can pick which one you want when you get there.”

When you reach the stairs, both Bowser and his son are racing ahead while you and Luigi are left at the bottom of the staircase. Briefly, you wonder why you never added an elevator to your home.

Then you remember. 

“Wait,” you tell Luigi as he starts climbing up the stairs. Once Bowser and his son have turned the corner to climb the next flight of stairs and can no longer see you, you grab Luigi’s arm and warp to the top of the first flight. The plumber yelps and almost falls over, but you steady him. Maybe you should have warned him - you forgot that most people aren't used to instantaneous travel.

You do it again once the Bowsers reach the top of the next flight of stairs, and Luigi seems to react a bit better the second time around. At least until you let go of his arm - he immediately falls into a sitting position once you do, releasing a miserable and tired groan. Bowser turns at the sound.

“Hey! Who told you it was break time?! No resting until we get to our room!”

“Dad!” Junior is already halfway up the next staircase, bouncing with anticipation. “I wanna go to the top!”

“Hold on son, why don't we check the rooms on this floor first?”

Looking down the hall, you think you know why Bowser wants to stop here. A lot of rooms on this floor have been claimed already, but most notably, this is where Peach’s room is - you can tell even from this distance by the heart decals on her door. Surrounding her is her circle of friends - Zelda and Daisy are next to her, while Mario, Link, and Fox are across the hall - but after that, there are free rooms further down the hall, with a few occupied ones every now and then. 

“No, I wanna go higher!” Junior whines, having a different ideal room than his father. He's already trying to sneak a few more steps. “You can stay here in  _ Lame-o Town _ , but I’m not gonna!”

“Buh?! Are you saying you don’t want to share a room with your old man?”

“Yeah! That’s exactly what I’m saying!” Bowser’s face morphs into shock and hurt. You and Luigi are just standing there and watching awkwardly. “I’m not a kid anymore - I wanna have my own room!!”

“But… But what if you need me?”

“I won’t!”

“Well,” you interject, stammering a bit when both Bowsers turn to glare at you, “i-it’s not like you two are living in different buildings or anything. It would only take a few minutes to reach each others’ rooms. And I think that uh, Bowser Jr. is mature enough to stay in his own room.”

Bowser looks furious at your audacity to butt in, but the look drops when Junior speaks again. “Yeah, that’s right!! I’m way mature now, so I should have my own room!” He pauses. “I bet all the other kids have their own room - and it’s not like I’m a kid like them or anything, so that means I should DEFINITELY have one!”

The Koopa King looks like he wants to argue back, but can’t find the words. “I… I…” He sighs, defeated. “I guess… you’d be okay… on your own--”

“WOOHOO! Thanks dad!!” Junior wastes no time turning and dashing up the stairs. “Don’t worry, I’m gonna find THE BEST room!”

While Bowser does look a bit happier to hear that, he sighs again once Junior is gone. After a moment of awkwardness, you decide to approach him. “Hey… you’ll be able to see him whenever you want. In fact, after we bring your stuff to your room, we can go find him right away! H-How does that sound...?”

For a moment, you’re worried that your (admittedly subpar) encouragement didn’t work, but Bowser finally brightens up with a smug chuckle.

“That sounds like a great idea! I’ll have to make sure his room is fit for a Bowser, after all. Hurry up you two - especially you, Green! Let’s get this over with so we can get the grand tour!” And with that, he stomps off to look for a room to claim, considerably more jovial than before. You sigh in relief, glad that everyone seems content in the end.

“Y-You’re-a very good at this.”

“Good at what?” you ask, turning your head to face Luigi when he hobbles over beside you. He hums a bit, trying to figure out how to word what he’s going to say next.

“G-Getting along with them,” he clarifies. “Does-a Bowser not scare you?”

You shrug. “Not really? I guess I was worried to meet him and Bowser Jr. at first, but they don’t seem too bad.” Your mouth lifts into a half-smile. “Why?  _ Should  _ I be scared?”

“Uh.” Luigi ponders on how to answer, lifting a hand to scratch under his hat. The shift in weight makes him sway, but he manages to stay upright. “...Maybe not. He’s-a not allowed to kidnap anyone during the-a tournament, so he doesn’t cause as-a much trouble as usual.”

“He’s not?” This is a bit surprising to you, though it probably shouldn’t be. “Did he have to sign a contract to be part of the tournament or something?”

“Yes, we-a all did. Some people have-a more clauses than others.” Luigi sighs. “B-But to be honest, I-a don’t think they’re enforced--”

“HEY! Slackers! Get over here - I found the perfect abode for my excellence!”

Luigi yelps and starts scurrying down the hall, abandoning your conversation. “C-C-Coming!!” You follow him, but at a bit more of a leisurely pace.

Did Luigi say the rules given to the Smashers weren’t enforced? Well, that can’t be right - what would be the point of having them then? Admittedly, you can imagine Master Hand being a bit lenient on the punishments, but  _ surely  _ if a Smasher did enough unruly things, they’d lose their spot in the tournament. ...Right?

Right???

“There you are!” You’re forced to swallow down your fears as you round the corner and catch up to Luigi and Bowser. Bowser has his arms crossed, as if he’s been waiting impatiently for more than just a couple seconds. “Thought you might’ve tried stealing my stuff - which I wouldn’t blame you for, because me and everything I own is  _ awesome _ . But then I’d have to track you down and make you BURN.” He laughs darkly, but the threat doesn’t bother you at all. In fact, you’re smiling.

“No need to worry about me - I know better than to steal from  _ The Great Bowser _ .” There’s a sarcastic edge to your tone that Bowser doesn’t seem to notice, because he’s shocked speechless for a moment before he grumbles and stomps through the open doorway behind him. You watch as the blank plaque on the door flickers and the name “BOWSER” has materialized on it, signalling that the Koopa King himself has truly decided to claim it.

“G-Good! It’s good that you know your place! Now get in here!!”

Luigi sighs and shakes his head as he enters the room, and you follow behind him with a chuckle. It is beyond you why Bowser chose this room - all of the rooms are pretty much the same beyond the view, after all - but he seems satisfied with  _ something  _ about it, and you decide not to ask. You and Luigi put down all the bags one by one, largely unable to identify which are Bowser’s and which are Junior’s. 

“Do you want us to unpack for you too?” you ask jokingly. Luigi gives you a horrified look as Bowser seems to consider it seriously.

“...NO! I don’t need a bunch of  _ losers  _ going through my stuff! Besides, you’ll probably take too long - Junior needs his luggage first.” Satisfied with his own answer, he shoves his own bags to one side of the room while he tosses his son’s bags to the two of you, which you’re both expected to catch. You feel like you’re in a game of Mario Party or something. (You win, of course. +10 coins to your pocket.)

“Ugh, come on, Greenie! You can do better than that!” Bowser scolds as Luigi picks up the bags he couldn’t catch. 

“S-Sorry--” And he drops another bag. Pitying him, you grab it before he does and slide it on your arm. You offer a smile to quiet his protests, pretending your body isn’t  _ dying  _ from the weight of all the bags you’ve had to carry today. After all, what’s one more???

“Alright, hurry up you two! We’re going to find Junior! Out of my way!” Bowser pushes past the both of you, knocking Luigi over as he leaves the room. The plumber flails comically from his back, and you have to refrain from laughing as you help him up. You end up misjudging the weight of him and the bags stuck to the both of you, and the shift as you try to pull him up sends you stumbling forward… right on top of him. 

“Ughhh,” you groan, rolling off of the plumber and dropping most of the bags with a laugh. “I think we need to start over.”

You glance to Luigi and notice his face is bright red. Oh no, you’ve  _ quite literally _ stumbled into yet another embarrassing situation. You’re not sure if the embarrassment being mutual makes this situation better or  _ worse.  _

“...Uh!” You stand up quickly - so quickly, that you almost fall back down. “We should hurry! Before Bowser comes back and yells at us!” 

“R-R-Right!” That seems to snap him out of his embarrassment-fueled daze and you both rush to collect everything and leave. Neither of you speak of the event again.

As you both rush around the corner, you spot Bowser waiting at the foot or the stairs. “What took you so long?! Whatever, I don’t care - let’s go!” He turns and stomps up the stairs. You make to follow until you hear someone calling your name from the floor below.

“Psst! Hey! Over here!” You and Luigi look towards the descending staircase and see Daisy, who’s using a hushed voice to avoid drawing Bowser’s attention. Link is behind her, greeting you with a smile and a wave, and behind him are a pair of curious faces you haven’t met yet. 

“A-Are those the Ice Climbers?” Luigi asks incredulously, and the two parka-clad children smile in recognition, jumping excitedly at the sight of another veteran.

“Yeah!” Daisy confirms. “Guess everyone hasn’t seen them in awhile? Peachy told me the story. Anyways, a bunch of us are going shopping - you in?”

You glance up the other staircase, to make sure Bowser hasn’t come back down to check what’s taking so long. “...Where are you going?” you ask, trying to dispell the pit of nervousness in your gut.

“I think we’re going to Villager’s world?” Daisy answers, looking to Link for confirmation. The Hylian nods. “Apparently his village has a bunch of cute shops. You can even make your own clothes!!”

“Sorry Daisy,” Luigi replies, “but we’re-a busy…”

Daisy scoffs. “What, doing King Lame-o’s busywork? Just leave everything there and make a break for it! Those guys can carry their own bags!”

“I dunno…” Luigi looks to you for a decision. What, why is it suddenly up to you?? 

“Um…” As much as you’d like to hang out with them and go to other universes, you’re worried about leaving the rest of the Smashers alone.  _ Especially  _ Bowser and his son. They haven’t done anything particularly bad or destructive yet, but that doesn’t mean they’ll always behave this well. Yeah, you can’t go. But there’s really no reason for Luigi to stay and suffer with you.

“Why don’t you go, Luigi?” you offer, and he seems surprised. “It sounds like it’ll be fun.”

“Wh-What about you?”

You shrug and give him an easy smile. “If we just leave everything here, Bowser will probably yell at us next time we see him. I think I’d rather stay on his good side if I can.” He looks like he’s going to protest, so you cut him off. “I’ll be able to handle them on my own, don’t worry.”

“Are you sure?” Daisy asks with a frown. “It would be so fun if you came with us! Don’t let the big grumpy Koopa order you around.”

“Really, it’s fine,” you assure, already taking bags from Luigi. He lets you do so reluctantly. “I want to be a good host to  _ everyone _ , even Bowser. Maybe I could… join you guys another time?” It’s an empty promise because you don’t know if you’ll  _ ever  _ be ready to leave people alone on your property unsupervised, but Daisy doesn’t know that, and she brightens up at your words.

“Okay! It’s a date!!” It’s silly, but the terminology makes your face heat up a bit. “Next time we go out, I’m dragging you with us, whether you like it or not! And we’re gonna have FUN!” 

“I’m looking forward to it,” you say only half-earnestly. You’ll have to think of an excuse to get out of it when the time comes. 

“A-Are you sure-a you’ll be okay?” Luigi asks once you’ve taken all the bags for him. You probably look like a big turtle right now. It’s amazing that you’re still standing upright, honestly.

“I’ll be fine - go have fun!” You wave him off and he finally relents, following the others down the stairs. As everyone rounds the corner, Daisy peeks her head back over the railing.

“Remember! You’re hanging out with us next time - no matter what!” 

You force a smile and wave her away, taking a moment to listen to her and the others chatting eagerly as they travel to the floor below. Once you’re sure no one else is around, you warp to the next floor up. And then the next one. You keep going until you’re at the top, where there’s no one to see you arrive. You start down the hall in search of either of the Bowsers, checking each door along the way. You spot Falco’s room, and then a room shared between Donkey and Diddy Kong. Captain Falcon’s door has flames and a falcon decal on it. Eventually you see an open door with “BOWSER JR” on the plaque. “KEEP OUT” has already been written on the wood with the magic marker attached to the door. Ignoring the message, you squeeze through the doorway with all the bags you’re carrying.

“What TOOK you so long?!” Bowser Jr. grumbles from the blanket burrito on the bed. Looks like he’s already messed up the sheets. Oh well, it’s not your problem anymore. “Hurry up, put all my stuff down!”

You start untangling yourself from the pile of bags and he crawls out of bed, digging into the first bag he could get his hands on. He pulls out toys and unceremoniously drops them onto the floor. The young prince goes through a few bags before he finally finds the jackpot - a somewhat familiar rectangular console. 

“Yeah! My PS4!” You can’t help but gape a little as Bowser Jr. puts the console on the floor, dragging wires with him. It feels like you’re witnessing something very  _ wrong _ , but you can’t really put your finger on why that is. It’s just video games! There’s nothing wrong with that!!!

“Hey! Weird... person!” The kiddo’s voice shakes you out of your daze. “I want a TV in my room!”

“I’ll uh… get you one later.” You don’t really have any “extra” ones just lying around, so you’ll have to manifest one. Which you’d rather not do while the kid is watching, lest he start badgering you for more stuff. He frumps and starts to demand you go get one  _ now _ , but he’s cut off by the arrival of his father.

“Junior! I brought you the eggs you wanted!” Bowser walks into the room holding a carton of eggs. You’re glad they seem to be on relaxed terms again, but… 

Previous discussion is completely forgotten as you stand there blankly, wondering why Bowser Jr. wanted  _ eggs _ . Bowser catches sight of you and scoffs. “Pah! About time you got here! Where did that green guy go?”

“He had something important to do,” you lie, shrugging, “so I just carried everything the rest of the way.”

Bowser hums in thought, though you have no idea what he could be thinking about. Junior dashes to him excitedly, opening the carton and grabbing a few eggs with a mischievous giggle. With two eggs in each hand and a fifth balanced between, he scrambles over to the open window. As he hops onto the window sill to look outside, you think you understand what the eggs are for. You feel like you should say something, but you can’t help but creep closer to the window to scope out what the kiddo is working with.

Looks like Junior picked this room with just this activity in mind - not only is it facing towards the front of the mansion, but the window is above the front door. He could get anyone going in or out of the mansion. 

This is the  _ prime egging location _ . 

“Hold these!” Junior hands you all of the eggs except one and leans out the window, eagerly waiting for a target. Soon enough, you spot Diddy Kong waddling out of the mansion, eating a banana. He pauses there, trying to decide where to go next.

You watch as Junior drops the egg with a snicker. It falls and falls… before exploding in a mess of yellow when it collides with Diddy’s head. The chimp lets out a screech as he falls forward and hits the dirt, dropping his banana. Junior cackles and ducks back into the room so he isn’t seen, and you follow his example. 

“Good one, Junior!” Bowser and his son share a high five. Bowser Jr. retrieves another egg from you and cautiously peeks out the window, checking for any sign of his previous target. Diddy seems to have run off already, however, so he’s in the clear.

He waits a few more moments, and this time it’s somebody  _ approaching  _ the mansion. It’s hard to make out details from here, but you can tell it’s a short kid with blond hair. You have a sneaking suspicion you know who that is…

Bowser Jr. drops the egg once the boy is close enough, and once again the egg hits its target. The kid yelps and looks around wildly for the culprit, and you can’t help but feel bad for him. You didn’t really care about Diddy getting egged, but this kid? Poor him! It’s pulling your heartstrings. You might even cry.

You’re handing Bowser Jr. another egg. 

“Heheheh, who’s next?” After checking for the boy’s departure, Junior is hanging out of the window again, looking for his next target. “Hey! There’s that dumb hedgehog! I’m gonna get him!”

“Be patient with this one, Junior,” his dad says, peering out the window with the both of you. Sonic is standing by the mansion, facing away from you guys. He’s not quite close enough to nail with an easy drop, but Bowser Jr. looks like he wants to try his luck anyways. He aims, and…

...Nope. It looked like it  _ could have _ hit him, but the hedgehog sidestepped out of the way without even turning around. 

“You need to trick him if you want to hit him,” you suggest. Bowser Jr. scoffs as he hops off the window sill and rushes to one of his bags.

“I know that!” the boy retorts as he pulls a Mechakoopa out of the bag. “Dad, give me an egg!” Bowser hands his son an egg, and the boy shoves it in the robot’s mouth. Then, after winding it up real good, he sends it into the hallway. The little soldier marches down the corridor, making clicking noises the whole way.

“That’ll show him!” Snickering to himself, Junior sits back down at the window and takes another egg from you. “Let’s see who else comes by!”

As these egging escapades continue, the rain starts to let up. Next is R.O.B., who Bowser Jr. also manages to successfully hit. Contrary to all the others, he’s still there when you all peek out of the window a few minutes later. Even worse, he’s staring up at the window, as if saying  _ ‘I know what you guys did’ _ . After staring at each other for awhile, he eventually rolls away.

Next is a taller boy in a rep cap, followed by three creatures that you definitely recognize as Pokemon, meaning that the boy must be Pokemon Trainer. Junior manages to hit the boy, Charizard, and Ivysaur, but Squirtle realizes what’s going on and dodges. Within seconds, the fire lizard rocketing into the sky through the egg on its face, thrusting its head through the window in a rage. You and Junior manage to duck out of the way in time and huddle against the wall, but Bowser isn’t so lucky. Charizard assumes him to be the culprit and, with flames streaming out of its jaw, leaps at the Koopa King with a roar. The two tumble out of the room, and you use your abilities to swing the door shut from afar to keep any brawling from travelling back in here. Amongst the roars, you think you hear something break outside.

“...Okay, let’s see who’s next!” Junior giggles and climbs back onto the window sill, completely unfazed by the battle going on out in the hall. “C’mon, you try!”

“M-Me?” You look between him and the door. “Um, I think I should go out there and try to calm things down…”

“Boring!” The prince holds the carton of eggs to you - there are only three left. “What, don’t think you can do it?”

“Of course I can,” you scoff, unconsciously finding yourself moving back towards the window. You fall for the challenge: hook, line, and sinker. Grabbing an egg, you peek out the window to see if anyone is around. If not, you can use that as an excuse to leave--

Obviously, someone is there. 

“ _ Pikachu _ ,” you hiss. Heck  _ yes  _ you’re going to egg that little  _ rat  _ \- the little terror has caused you nothing but grief since it got here. With absolutely zero sympathy, you time the drop carefully and land a direct hit. You’re snickering as you duck back into the room, relishing the rodent’s screeches of anger. Now you only hope Pikachu can’t trace the attack back to you…  _ or  _ Bowser Jr. - you don’t want to cause trouble for him either. 

With the next passerby, it seems you have taken up Egg Duty for the rest of the carton.

“Can I do this one too?” you ask, grinning as you see Captain Falcon on a jaunty stroll. You  _ sort of _ got him back when you (accidentally) nailed him with a baseball, but you are on a revenge high and nobody can stop you now.

“ _ Do it, _ ” Junior dares, mirroring your grin, and you happily oblige. You almost expect him to notice it coming and dodge like Sonic had, but you practically  _ whoop  _ in glee when the egg hits, gloriously splatting all over the racer’s helmet. You almost forget to duck out of the way.

This might just be the most exhilarating thing you’ve ever done.

“Nerd at twelve o’clock!” Bowser Jr. cackles as he points at an approaching Shulk. He is completely unaware of the terror that’s going to rain down from above. Oh, you’re going to feel so bad about this - you still haven’t made it up to him for spooking the daylights outta him yesterday. Not to mention, you kind of feel partially responsible for the cooking incident. But you’re on a roll now, so you let the last egg slip from your fingers and watch eagerly as it plummets, sure to hit its target.

Unfortunately, you forgot one  _ teensy  _ thing about Shulk. Before you realize what’s going on, he suddenly glances up and leaps backwards, stumbling and falling onto his back. The egg misses him entirely, and you can’t tell if any of the splatter hit him. You’re staring _ in shock _ with your mouth hanging open for a solid few seconds before you process what just happened and scramble backwards.

“He had a vision!” you groan, and Junior seems similarly disappointed. “Oh no, what if he knew it was us??”

“Don’t tell me you’re scared of THAT nerd,” Junior says accusingly. “What’s he gonna do about it? Cry? Betcha he’s too chicken to even tell anyone about it.”

“...I guess you’re right.” He doesn’t really seem like the type of person who likes confrontation. It makes you feel some relief, but now you feel kind of guilty again - you feel more terrified at the prospect of getting caught than bad for what you did. Aw man. Well, the eggs are all gone now, so you can’t be tempted to cause more trouble. 

“...Oh shoot, I need to check on the hall!!!” You totally forgot! Bowser and Charizard were fighting out there! You rush for the door and thoughtlessly yank it open, terrified about what you are going to find. 

Outside, the corridor is scorched and wallpaper is torn, and a particularly large painting is smashed, but otherwise… it’s somehow not as bad as you expected. The two aren’t even fighting anymore! Though you have a feeling you can attribute that to a certain buff blue-haired swordsman who is also present in the hall.

“Dad!” Junior yells, running over to Bowser. “Did’ja win?”

“Of course I did!” Bowser proclaims smugly, prompting Charizard to roar accusingly at him, calling him a liar. The swordsman deadpans and flicks Charizard’s jaw. The fire Pokemon stops, but it glares at the man as steam rises from its nostrils.

“Hey, I told you! If you want to fight, go outside.” Charizard makes a noise of disgust before turning and stomping down the hall, choosing to abandon the fight for now. Bowser glares at its retreating back as Junior blows a raspberry. The swordsman just sighs. Since the situation is defused, you figure it’s safe to approach now. 

“Hm? Haven’t seen you before,” the swordsman - who you and I and we all know is Ike - says when he spots you. “Are you a new combatant?”

“Um, no, I’m just the owner of the mansion.” You give him your name and share a handshake. Wowzers, he seems strong. He could probably crush you with a single hand. His physique reminds you of some of the statues around the mansion - he definitely looks more like a  _ hero  _ than many other Smashers. 

Ike seems a bit surprised to hear of your position, but you cannot fathom why. He introduces himself to you and then says: “Oh, and sorry about the portrait. I had to take some…  _ drastic measures _ to stop the fight.”

You glance to the smashed painting and finally realize that it  _ does  _ look like the damage was primarily caused by the cut of a blade rather than anything else. You also notice that Ike doesn’t look  _ quite  _ as apologetic as he should. 

“Don’t worry about it,” you reply, trying to keep your voice level. Because you kinda are stressing out on the inside! “Master Hand he’d replace anything that gets damaged, so… it’ll be fine.” 

Ike smiles knowingly. “Ah, yes, I’m sure he will. This hallway will likely be good-as-new come tomorrow.”

That admittedly calms your nerves a tiny bit. You’ve already seen Master Hand’s quick work at replacing broken objects due to  _ some  _ unruly Smashers (Pikachu!), and no matter how hard you looked, you couldn’t find any differences between it and the original. You have no idea how he does it, and perhaps that’s why you still feel weird about the whole process. Maybe you should ask him about it later. 

Before either of you can say anything further, Bowser - who had been mulling something over in silence up until now - suddenly has an exclamation to make.

“Wait! YOU’RE the owner of the mansion?!”

You jump from the sudden interjection of his voice. “Y-Yes?” Why is everyone always so surprised to hear that? Everyone seems to think you’re a fighter or some sort of housekeeper - what’s up with that?? Is it the way you look? Maybe you need to edit your wardrobe or something.

But, to be fair, now that you think of it: you never introduced yourself to Bowser and his son. It’s fair that they didn’t know, and they don’t really seem like the type of people who’d care to ask. Though you didn’t think they’d care upon finding out either.

Junior recovers from the shock faster, letting out a little laugh. “Oh man, then you’re WAY cooler than the loser from the last tournament! That wimp would have NEVER egged people with me!” 

Ike gives you an amused look, and you pointedly decide to ignore him. “Well, it was, uh... kind of fun,” you admit lamely, and Junior gives you a wicked grin at the admission. You have a strong feeling that he’s going to badger you into doing some other  _ morally dubious _ activities down the line.

“...I see!” Bowser claims after several moments of further deliberation. “I thought we were getting a tour from some  _ nobody _ , but since you’re the owner…” The Koopa King lets out a low chuckle, which you really don’t know how to interpret. “We’re going to continue the tour! Show me and Junior everything the mansion has to offer!” He glares pointedly at Ike. “And no dweebs allowed! This is a PRIVATE tour!”

“If no ‘dweebs’ are allowed, then what about you two?”

Bowser gapes at the accusation and growls at Ike, who’s just wearing an easygoing smile. Bowser Jr. responds by grabbing your hand and trying to drag you down the hall. 

“C’mon, let’s just ditch this punk!” Unsure what to do, you half let Junior pull you along. “Take us somewhere cool!!”

“Hold on,” Ike says, still sporting an easy smile. “What if I need help finding a room? Perhaps the owner could give me advice about which room would be best for me.”

“Pick your own room - they’re all the same!” Bowser growls. He starts walking down the hallway as well.

“Is that so? Then where’s  _ your  _ room?”

Ike gestures to Bowser Jr.’s room. Obviously, Bowser’s room is nowhere in sight. He’s asking why their rooms aren’t next to each other if “every room is the same”.

“That’s none of your business!!” Bowser roars. Ike just stares at him bemused, and you realize he’s probably trying to give you an excuse to get away from these two. How can you tell him that you’re fine without seeming rude?

“I-I’m fine!” A straightforward and direct solution you think, until you realize that answer had nothing to do with the situation occurring out loud. “I-I mean, um…” Unable to think of a way to politely deal with this efficiently, you turn to Bowser and his son. “H-How about you guys go ahead without me? There’s a rec room on the third floor - I’ll meet you guys there.”

Both of the Bowsers look at your suspiciously, so you continue: “I promise! I said I’d take you on a tour, didn’t I?” Actually, you’re pretty sure you were  _ unwillingly volunteered _ for it, but you’re not going to mention that. “This’ll only take a minute.”

“...Fine! But you better show up - or else!” Bowser hoists his son onto his shell and stomps down the hallway. Once they are out of earshot, you can’t help but sigh in relief.

“Everything alright?” Ike asks. “They haven’t been giving you any trouble, right?”

“They’re fine,” you say, and you’re surprised that you mean it. “They’re kind of…  _ bossy, _ but they don’t seem bad.”

Ike chuckles. “I suppose compared to some of the others…” You assume he’s talking about other villains - most of which haven’t arrived yet. If the Bowsers are some of the “better” ones, you dread to meet whoever is worse. 

“Would you like me to go with you?” Ike asks, and you’re taken aback by the offer. Aside from Luigi (and you suppose Daisy et al), it felt like none of the other Smashers cared to help out after you went along with the Bowsers. You can’t help but wonder if Ike would have helped with the bags too, or left with everyone else.

However, you don’t think you  _ need  _ help anymore. 

“No, that’s okay. I think I’ll be fine.” You’ve enjoyed learning about  _ all  _ the Smashers, and that includes Bowser and Bowser Jr.! Watching them interact as father and son has admittedly made your heart melt more than once. You really don’t feel scared or worried around them - not anymore than you do with every other Smasher, at least. “I can handle myself,” you add in hopes of further reassuring him.

“If you say so…” You try not to be offended at his dubious once-over of your form. “Well, I guess I’ll be off. It was nice meeting you.”

“Nice meeting you too!!” Your voice rises in a somewhat awkward way, but neither of you bring attention to it. As he’s walking away, you call out: “Wait!”

“Yes? What is it?”

“Uh…” Aw man, this is probably silly and unnecessary. “I-If you were serious about needing room advice earlier: the second floor has a training room! So you could uh, be close to it if you want…”

Ike gives you a good-natured smile. “Do I look like the kind of guy who obsesses over training?”

You’re at a loss for words, scrambling to figure out how to apologize, but then he starts laughing. “I’ll keep that suggestion in mind. Thanks.” And he turns and walks away before you can say anything.

Well, that was kind of embarrassing. But you  _ think  _ you ended up being helpful in the end? And if anything  _ does  _ go wrong, the idea that Ike might be nearby to save you bring a wave of relief over you. Not that you’d be excited to be some kind of damsel in distress or anything!!

As you are walking in the opposite direction, you notice one of the many statues in your mansion just sitting in this hall, privy to all that just occurred. It is shaped like a Hero - and you pointedly remember pretending to swoon over it back when your days were dull and your mansion was empty. It’s crazy to think that it has only been three days since then.

Suddenly, you find that staring at this statue embarrasses you. So you decide to move on.

You descend the stairs until you reach the third floor, then make your way to the rec room. Along the way, you spot Ness and Lucas walking by. Ness waves at you, and you start to wave back, but then you notice the egg yolk in Lucas’ hair. You had a  _ feeling  _ he was the poor blond kid that fell victim to Bowser Jr.’s reign of Egg Terror. You try to act natural, but Ness responds to your strained smile with a curious look. Darn, he’s too perceptive for you! You pick up the pace and practically jog past them, and you’re distantly aware of them continuing their conversation in hushed voices.

Soon enough, you reach the rec room. When you open the door, you immediately catch sight of Bowser and his son playing a very heated game of air hockey. 

Literally heated. The puck is on fire.

You breathe out a noise of surprise as you approach, and it’s enough to distract Bowser to miss the next shot. Junior cheers in delight at winning the game while his dad grumbles before thrusting the paddle in your direction.

“Your turn, squirt! Show us what you got!” 

You take the paddle gingerly and position yourself at the end of the table, taking the puck out of the pocket below. Thankfully, the flames are gone, but it’s scorched black and is starting to look brittle. Carefully, you place it on the table. Bowser Jr. (standing on a high chair) does a determined crouch and snickers, ready for anything you throw at him.

You give the puck an easy thwack.

Junior  _ smashes  _ it back towards you, and you almost miss it. It’s a vicious back-and-forth for a few rounds - you actually manage to get a few points, but Junior remains ahead for most of the game. You subconsciously notice the puck is breaking apart, leaving blackened crumbs on the table, but it’s not until you trap the puck with a hard slam that it shatters completely, rendering it unusable. 

“Oops,” you mutter, and both Bowsers just laugh. They clearly enjoy the needless destruction.

“I won!” Junior cheers. “Let’s play another game!”

You teach them billiards and  _ just  _ manage to win at it, it being a game you’ve always been able to practice solo. Bowser surprisingly destroys you at darts, and then again at DDR. Who knew he had moves like  _ that?! _ Bowser Jr. wins at ping pong, his size not at all being a detriment. You have to wonder if Bowser is letting him win sometimes, but they both play so intensely that you can’t see either of them going easy on each other.

When you all finally exit the room, you find yourself unable to stop smiling. 

“We should go to an arcade!” Bowser Jr. announces after you’ve told him that the DDR machine is pretty much the extent of your multiplayer arcade library. “I’ll beat you at ANY game!” 

“You’re on,” you counter, before you’re suddenly acutely aware of the time, “but maybe another day. It’s getting late, and I think it would be more fun if we got everyone else to go with us too, don’t you think?”

“I guess,” Junior grumbles. Before you can say anything further, you’re distracted by a blue-and-black humanoid walking in your direction.

“Oh hey, isn’t that Lucario?” you say aloud, not asking anyone in particular. When the aura Pokemon’s eyes meet yours, you walk over and introduce yourself.

_ “So you’re the owner,” _ Lucario says telepathically, which is kind of a weird sensation. You’ve never spoken to a telepath before. It glances at the Bowsers behind you (who, unbeknownst to you, are glaring impatiently at it) before its gaze settles on you again. _ “Are these two bothering you?” _

“What? No, we’re fine!” You grin pleasantly, trying to diffuse a situation before it can even begin. “I was just showing them around - we’re having fun, honest. Did you need any help with anything?”

Lucario glances between the three of you before closing its eyes and saying  _ “No, I’m fine,” _ and then moving around you to walk past your group. It walks leisurely down the hall until it stops beside an inconspicuous cardboard box, suddenly staring at it intently. Huh, that’s weird! You don’t remember seeing that there before you went into the rec room. Maybe someone has been moving stuff around recently? Lucario stares at it for a few seconds too long before finally sighing and shaking its head, then continuing down the hallway. 

You should probably do something about that box, but you’re sure someone will be right back to deal with it, so you decide to just leave it there! 

“I wanna go see the pool!” Junior says, already rushing past you. “I saw there was one on the floor above on the way here - let’s go see it!”

“I think you’ll like it,” you reply as you follow him, stifling a giggle at seeing his excitement. “It has a few water slides, and there’s also a hot tub…”

“Really?!” Bowser Jr. picks up the pace with a bounce in his step, laughing as he starts to run. “Last one there is a rotten-- ack!!” 

Bowser Jr. yelps after he’s rounded the corner so you can’t see what’s happened, prompting you and Bowser to pick up the pace. As soon as you’ve turned the corner, you realize that Junior must have bumped into  _ someone  _ and fallen over. 

“Son, are you alright?” Bowser is there in a flash helping Junior up, and immediately turns to growl at the new arrival, as if they were the primary cause for his son’s fall. The man that stands before you is tall and dark-skinned, with sharp features and bright red hair. The grin on his face holds no trace of apology or guilt, and instead holds nothing but malice. 

Of course, you’d recognize the _ Great King of Evil  _ from a mile away.

“Aww, what’s wrong, old friend?” Ganondorf asks. “Aren’t you happy to see me?”

* * *

 

The rain has stopped, and the sky is shining brilliant oranges to signal the presence of the late afternoon. Sonic is relaxing in a lawn chair by the outdoor pool. Okay, it’s several feet away from the pool, but we get the gist of the situation, right? Sipping from his juice, he tilts his sunglasses up to look around when he hears an approaching clicking sound.

“Heh, hey there, buddy,” the hedgehog says to the approaching Mechakoopa. He’s not sure what’s going on, but he assumes one of the Bowsers must be around somewhere. Is this part of their egg scheme they were trying to pull earlier? A bit wary, he looks around for either the Koopa King or the prince, but there’s no one in sight. 

The Mechakoopa stops side his chair and becomes motionless. It does absolutely nothing. Sonic pauses to consider this, then reaches out with a smile.

“Hey, that’s real nice of you!” He puts his glass on the robot’s back, and manages to balance it perfectly. “Thanks man, you’re a big help.” He gives the Mechakoopa a pat on the head.

Suddenly, the robot lights up ominously. Before Sonic realizes what’s happening, the Mechakoopa  _ explodes _ . The hedgehog is surprised to find that, among the small explosion, some sort of gooey substance also erupted from the machine’s body and splattered onto him. He grimaces at the soot on his fur and realizes, with sudden dismay…

_ Sonic the Hedgehog has been  _ **_egged!_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT TIME: ganondorf has arrived, and we find out he is a perfectly pleasant guy and that he and bowser have zero animosity towards each other. 
> 
> follow me on twitter dot com if you wanna see me ramble about my ideas for this fic (or see me ramble in general), or if you just wanna talk about video games! @Yoshichao
> 
> thank you for reading!!


	9. dragons and also WAR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ganondorf has arrived at the mansion!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wwwwhhoooaAAAA this chapter took a long time! school has been very exhausting and i've also been sick this week, but i think i am getting into the swing of things! i may end up rearranging my planned chapter order so the fic events match up with irl events, but i may also just keep it the way things are and have everything be a month+ off lol oops. we'll see! 
> 
> isabelle was announced between updates and she was actually one of the characters i came up with ideas for before being announced, so you'll be seeing THAT sooner rather than later!! but for now, here's the final chapter of the Third Day here at the smash mansion. will our smashers get to sleep peacefully in their beds after this chapter? well... guess you'll have to read and find out.......

Within the newly labeled “GANONDORF” room directly next to Bowser’s room, you find yourself moving furniture around. The King of Evil himself watches your every move with a smirk, dictating where he wants things to be. He’s either messing with you or is _very_ indecisive, because you’ve moved the bed to the other side of the room about three times now.

“A bit more to the left… Hmm, no, I think it would be better over there.” Yeah, he’s definitely messing with you. “And I think we should discuss the colours - there’s too much yellow in this room. I’d like it to have more reds instead.”

Unceremoniously, you drop the (not red) bed. It makes a loud thump and shakes the room, but you ignore it in favour of giving Ganondorf your best deadpan. “I have paint, but think you’re going to need to talk to Master Hand if you want different furniture. There aren’t any shops in this world, so you’ll have to import.”

“Oh, is that so?” The knowing smirk he wears continues to unnerve you, and it takes you everything you have to not start squirming under his gaze. “Are you saying everything in this mansion is from another world? Or that it simply _appeared_ from nothing?”

“Uh.” The fact that he’s not exactly _wrong_ scares you. Is he implying that he knows of your abilities? He just got here - why would he know about that?! Is he going to torture you by forcing you to constantly conjure things for him? You’d rather be a slave to Kirby’s bottomless appetite instead - at least _he_ shows gratitude.

As you stammer trying to figure out a safe reply to Ganondorf’s accusations, your knight in shining armour arrives on the scene.

“HEY! That’s OUR host you’ve got there!” Okay, Bowser is the furthest thing from a _knight_ your mind can possibly imagine, but his presence brings a sense of comfort in you, oddly enough. “And who said you could take the room beside mine?!”

“I believe this pathetic worm you’ve grown attached to is _everyone’s_ host.” Ganondorf turns to face you, and you find yourself shrinking from his maniacal gaze alongside his harsh words. “...And if there’s a problem with my room selection, _they_ will be the one to tell me. Isn’t that right?”

You glance between these two drastically different villainous characters, and realize with growing dismay that you have to pick a side here. No matter how you look at it, this seems like a lose/lose scenario. If you side with Bowser, you could maybe convince Ganondorf to relocate, but probably end up terrorized by the King of Evil as a result for the rest of _Smash Ultimate_ history. On the other hand, you could choose to _try_ and stay on Ganondorf’s good side… and possibly inadvertently be the cause of many a fight when the two of them are forced to interact almost daily. It’s very obvious they aren’t on very good terms, so it would be inevitable.

When you open your mouth, you somehow pick a third option: to stay neutral. You don’t know if it’s your best or worst choice yet.

“Um, yeah, I’d… tell you. If you had to move.” Both parties stare at you, awaiting the rest of your answer. You feel like you’re being put on trial here! “A-As it is, there are no restrictions on room selection, so… you can stay here if you really want.”

Their reactions are simultaneous: Bowser’s jaw drops as Ganondorf’s grin widens in triumph. Quickly, you add: “But! I-If a problem _did_ come up while you’re staying here, I’d have to request that you move somewhere else. Okay?”

“That sounds reasonable,” Ganondorf replies nonchalantly, still smug. You don’t know what he’s thinking, but it seems this is a _victory_ in his book. “Likewise, I imagine that extends to my neighbour as well. But I’m sure we’ll both be on our best behaviour… isn’t that right, _old friend?_ ”

Bowser growls in restrained fury, and you almost expect an argument to break out right then and there. But he releases a very moody “FINE!” and huffs verbally, crossing his arms and refusing to look at anyone in the room.

“Now that that’s settled, let’s return to our prior engagement: namely, my welcoming.” Ganondorf looks to you. “You’ve been made aware of my needs for my abode - which you will be dealing with urgently - so perhaps we should move onto the _grand tour_ … if you could even call it that. I don’t have many expectations for a simple-minded homeowner such as yourself.”

Now that’s just rude. You weren’t even responsible for most of the design choices in this place! Yet you can’t help but feel disappointment gnawing inside you - everyone else seemed pleased with the mansion, but of course you should have known not _everyone_ would like it. You don’t know why the opinion of some egotistical jerk is getting to you.

“Hey!” Bowser Jr. pokes his head up from on his dad’s shell. “Today WE’RE getting a tour! Get in line, Ganon _dork._ ”

You almost gasp at that - even Bowser seems alarmed at his son’s choice of words. Ganondorf’s smug expression immediately falls into a frown as he glares daggers at the little tyrant, who looks absolutely _fearless_ despite the present company. You might need to take lessons from him.

“Th-That’s right!” Bowser proclaims as soon as he’s recovered from his shock. He swells with pride as he forcefully drags you to his side. His claws don’t scratch you, thankfully, but you do rub your arm from the pain of the contact. “You shouldn’t have arrived _late_ if you wanted a tour! Now you have to wait until the host’s schedule is free, which will be… not for a million years! Bwhahahaha!”

“And why would they prioritize a couple of all-star wannabes like _you?_ ” Surprisingly unfazed, Ganondorf’s smirk returns. “As a _Super Smash Brothers_ **_champion_ ** , I believe that earns me a few more… _privileges._ ”

Ganondorf was the winner of the _Melee_ 1v1 tournament, just barely reigning victorious over Fox in the last round. It was an incredible match - a newcomer AND a villain winning the tournament? The crowd was in an uproar! Ever since then, the King of Evil has been popular in Smash… though not necessarily because people _like_ him. But Ganondorf never seemed to mind the public’s opinion of him - in fact, he seemed to _relish_ the boos that began whenever he showed up for a match.

“Oh please, that was YEARS ago!” Bowser groans, stomping in place. “Nobody cares about the Melee tournament anymore!”

“On the contrary, it’s the _only_ meaningful tournament in the history of this miserable event. Smash will never return to its glory days unless Master Hand realizes that.” Ganondorf’s face twists into mock-regret. You’d like to bring up the fact that each _Smash_ event has only brought in bigger and bigger crowds with each tournament, but you don’t have the courage to back talk like that.

“Hah! Only a SORE LOSER would think that! Everyone _knows_ you’ve been on a losing streak since then - I don’t even know why you bother to come back anymore!”

“Says the buffoon with one of the worst track records in the history of Smash.”

“SHUT UP! Don’t pretend you’re not responsible for sabotaging our record during _Brawl!_ ”

“Uh oh,” Junior mumbles, slowly climbing down from his dad’s back, careful not to draw attention to himself.

“Me?” Ganondorf scoffs. “You were the one holding us back. The title would have been mine if it weren’t for you, you blithering idiot.”

The Brawl tournament, you recalled fondly, was the only event thus far to open up with the 2v2 tournament. This was done to promote the _Super Smash Bros._ movie, which released during the event. Almost all of the teams were based on pair-ups that appeared in the movie - some of which were iconic teams from the first _Smash_ tournament. Seeing the original 2v2 champions Samus and Pikachu team up again plus runner ups Link and Yoshi brought such a nostalgic rush. Luigi and Ness didn’t do well in the tournament back then, but you smiled seeing them end up working alongside each other.

But clearly, not everyone regarded the _Brawl_ era as fondly as you did.

“ME?! You stabbed me in the BACK!” Naively, you suppose you thought all Smash villains got along, but clearly Bowser and Ganondorf have serious contention with each other that not even time could quell. You have to wonder if they’ve always been like this, or if it only started during _Brawl_. You’ll have to ask around to satiate your curiosity.

“Oh please, it made the story much more interesting. Master Hand loved it - everyone did.”

“I wasn’t even TALKING about the movie! Don’t get me started on THAT disaster!!”

Now once again on the floor, Bowser Jr. tugs on your clothes to get your attention. “That part in the movie wasn’t scripted, and dad is _still_ mad about it,” he whispers.

“Wait, that wasn’t scripted?” you repeat, perhaps a bit too loudly. Ganondorf’s expression turns prideful as he chuckles.

“Of course, a simple-minded creature like you wouldn’t have noticed. My improvisational skills are unparalleled.”

“It doesn’t take any skills to STAB SOMEONE IN THE BACK! That’s a coward’s move!”

Aw man, you should probably try to defuse this. “I thought it was pretty funny how you went out of your way to betray him and then immediately got wrecked by Tabuu.” Nailed it. Ganondorf’s smile drops and he glowers as Junior snickers and Bowser breaks into a guffaw.

“Yeah, that was pretty good!” Bowser agrees, pretending to wipe away a tear. It’s probably not the best thing you could have said, but you’d admittedly rather make the Bowsers happy than dumb ol’ Ganon _dork_ over here. At least _they_ were sort of nice to you!

“I would have liked to see you do better,” Ganondorf says, clearly restraining his irritation.

“Well if we were going off-script, I totally would have! I would have mopped the floor with that blue creep! WITHOUT the hedgehog’s help!”

“Hah. An obvious bluff. You can’t even beat _me._ ”

Bowser frumps, glancing away nervously before coming back more determined than ever. “I-I just got unlucky back then! But there’s no way that would happen today - I’m a new and improved Bowser, baby. You have NO IDEA what new tricks I have hiding up my sleeves!”

“Idiot, you don’t have any sleeves.”

“IT’S A FIGURE OF SPEECH!” Bowser roars and points challengingly at the Gerudo king. “THAT’S IT! You and me, we’re gonna settle this _right now!_ ”

Oh no, you see where this is going. “Uh, hold on you guys--”

“Fine by me,” Ganondorf replies smugly, shifting slightly into a more suitable stance for fighting. Oh _no._ “As long as you’re ready to grovel at my feet when I defeat you utterly.”

Bowser exhales smoke from his nostrils. “Not gonna happen! In fact, it’s gonna be the other way around! Gwahahahaha!”

“Guys can you please take this outside--”

“Kick his butt, dad!” Junior cheers, and you quickly realize _nobody is going to listen to you._ This fight is _happening._ Bowser makes the first move, leaping at Ganondorf with an outstretched claw and flames rolling out of his mouth. Ganondorf retaliates with a powerful uppercut, which knocks his opponent back, but the Koopa King is quick to recover and counters with a wide flame breath. Nobody but you seems to care that the room is now engulfed in flames.

You gotta get out of here.

Backing out of the room, you stumble and nearly trip in your haste to escape. Should you find someone who might better defuse the situation? Or would they join the brawl and just make things worse? You recall that Ike was wandering around earlier - would he still be nearby? Who else is still hanging around? Would those who went shopping be back yet??

You yelp and scramble out of the way when Bowser and Ganondorf crash through the wall and come tumbling out of the room, too caught up in their fight to even notice you’re there. Keeping your eyes trained on the fight in horror, you move briskly backwards, trying to distance yourself from it as much as possible. You have to find someone! If you don’t, this could go _so_ much further than just a couple of rooms!

You keep blindly travelling backwards, gasping loudly when your back collides with… a cardboard box? What the heck, who keeps leaving these things around?! Ugh, you’re gonna find out who and give them a piece of your mind, and teach them efficient organizational skills--!

The box shifts behind you. The unexpectedness of the movement leaves you shrieking as you try to whirl around and figure out who or _what_ just emerged from the box, but a hand reaches from behind and covers your mouth, instantly muffling your voice and forcing you to keep looking forward.

“Don’t scream,” says the low, hushed voice behind you. You’re not sure why he’s trying to keep quiet when you’re both standing in plain sight and your heart is pounding louder than a drum. “I’m gonna get you out of here, so leave this to me. Alright?”

He’s going to defuse the fight? You hesitate for a moment, before voicing a muffled sound of confirmation. Without releasing his hold on you, the man grabs something on his person - some sort of communication device, you assume from his next words.

“Greninja. Third floor, window twenty nine. Bring the target to safety.”

The man reaches over and opens the window closest to you two, and within seconds a familiar blue frog-like Pokemon leaps through, landing silently on the floor. Without even analyzing the situation, it grabs you and hops back out the window with you in its hold, and you let out an involuntary shriek at the suddenness of the event.

When you look back through the window just before you start falling, you see the flash of camo rushing towards the direction of the fight.

Greninja lands gracefully on the dirt road below and puts you down gently. Instinctively, you start moving further back so you can better see what’s happening up above. As if on cue, there’s an explosion that blows out a window and part of the wall, letting smoke waft out.

Wow Mr. Cardboard Box Guy, so much for _helping!!!_

You don’t know how much time passes during this, but you find yourself mesmerized by dread as you watch the situation get worse and worse from the outside. Greninja vanishes, leaving you alone for a few minutes, but he eventually reappears once that particular section of the mansion is engulfed in an aggressive inferno. His water shurikens snap you out of your daze, and you find yourself surprised by how effective they are. But the flames return fiercer anyways - this isn’t something just one person can handle on their own.

Thankfully, more helpers start to show up soon enough. Pokemon Trainer rushes out of the building with his Pokemon in tow - Squirtle starts dousing the flames with a powerful Water Gun, while Ivysaur is handing off a large bucket of water to Charizard so he can drop it from above. Donkey Kong exits the building with an overflowing bucket in each hand, placing them down beside Ivysaur before rushing back into the mansion to get more.

“Ughhh, heyyy, sorry I’m late!”

You turn to see a girl in a white hat jogging over, her gait a bit lazy from exhaustion. An Eevee is peeking out from the carrier slung across the front of her body, gazing up at the raging inferno tensely. Pokemon Trainer turns to face this new arrival with familiarity, mouth in a thin, disappointed line. The girl doesn’t seem to notice.

“I got caught talking to Lance - you know how it is, and-- whoa, that’s one _heck_ of a fire!!” Briefly, her eyes bug out in shock before her expression shifts to accommodate a nonchalant grin. She grabs a Pokeball from her waist and clicks the button to enlarge it. “Yowzah, you weren’t kidding when you said this event would be _bumpin’_. And a welcoming party? For little ol’ me? You shouldn’t have!”

Pausing this very _smashing_ tale, we acknowledge that having two “Pokemon Trainer”s may be confusing. For convenience sake, we will use the fabled names _Red_ and _Leaf_ to refer to these two young trainers, even though the official _Super Smash Brothers_ promotional material omits them. We’re confident that the audience already knows which name refers to which individual.

Leaf throws the Pokeball and out emerges a Blastoise, landing on its feet with a thud. With a quick order from its trainer, the giant turtle starts blasting water out of its cannons to purge the fire.

“Hey Red,” Leaf starts casually, content to let the Pokemon handle the situation, “where’s _your_ Blastoise? Don’t tell me you forgot ‘em at home!”

Red just gives the other trainer a look - which you can’t deduce the meaning of, but Leaf interprets it immediately and starts laughing. “C’mon, you know I’m joking! I get it. But I couldn’t just leave everyone at home, y’know? And the contract didn’t say anything about using them _outside_ of the tournament.”

There’s a pause before Red gives a wry smile and retrieves two more Pokeballs from his belt. Out comes his own Blastoise, as well as a Lapras. They are quick to join the firefighting effort.

More Smashers emerge from the mansion - some help, and some watch. You’re sure some are even still in there, oblivious to the destruction (but hopefully safe). When the fire is finally out and the fighting has (presumably) stopped, there’s a ginormous honkin’ hole in the area where the fight had been. The above floors have collapsed from all the explosions. And, perhaps to taunt you, the dark clouds above finally start releasing water droplets, marking the start of what you’re sure will end up being an awful storm.

You need to talk with Master Hand.

* * *

 

Although the storm clouds obscure the sky, you know nighttime is approaching. The shopping troupe returns after the fire is out, startled by the state of the mansion. However, you notice… they don’t really seem _surprised_ about it.

“What happened?” Peach asks as she approaches you, more out of curiosity than anything. Zelda and Fox follow her, the three of them closing their umbrellas and shaking the water droplets off their clothes as they enter the protection of the canopy. You’re lingering at a little gazebo not too far from the mansion, because you’re admittedly a bit scared to go inside the building and see all the damages in a new light. You’re surprised anyone approached you at all, what with your Stare Of Despair trained on the horrible melted slag that exists on your property.

“Ganondorf showed up,” you groan, unable to keep a bit of shakiness out of your voice. Every time you refocus on the ruined wing of the mansion - _your mansion_ \- it’s like watching it happen all over again. You’re torn between anger and tears, but leaning more towards the latter.

Just the mention of Ganondorf’s name has Peach’s expression dawning in understanding. “The first day is always the worst for those two - though I do wish they would put aside their differences already…”

“Like _that’ll_ ever happen,” Zelda scoffs, smiling at the idea regardless. “Ganondorf has always had a stick up his butt, in _and_ out of the Smash event. We all thought he might mellow out during the Brawl event, but…”

“I’m pretty sure he’s gotten even _worse_ since then,” Fox completes, and the others nod to agree.

You hear someone calling your name, and when you turn you see Marth rushing towards you, using a half-empty tote bag to shield himself from the rain. It seems he left most of his equipment at the mansion when he went shopping, because you don’t see any of it on him. You also notice that he must have bought a few things…because he is wearing the _ugliest_ floral-print shirt you have ever seen. It takes all your strength not to laugh.

“Are you alright?!” he asks you once he’s close enough, stopping in front of you. The Altean prince looks notably worn from running so much. “What happened?”

“Ganondorf,” Zelda answers, and Marth immediately groans in understanding. Oh yeah, you were so busy enjoying his fashion sense that you somehow briefly forgot that half a wing of your mansion is all collapsed and charred. Whoopsie doopsie!

“Of all the times for him to arrive…” Marth pinches the bridge of his nose and exhales deeply. “If more of us had been here…”

You know what he’s implying. “It’s not your fault - no one knew this was going to happen. B-Besides, there were, uh… a few people.”

Marth glances at the wreckage with a frown, clearly unimpressed by the efforts of those involved. You’re honestly unimpressed as well, but you keep that to yourself. Suddenly, he makes a sound as if remembering something.

“Oh! I almost forgot… Since you couldn’t join us, I bought you something.” He offers the tote bag to you, smiling awkwardly. “The bag was just to protect it from the rain, but I suppose you can have that too.”

“O-Oh, you didn’t have to get me anything…”

“Just take it!” Zelda says, and you notice that everyone is staring at you with eager smiles. You’re being ganged up on to accept gifts?! This is unfair!! You’re not used to getting gifts either (comes with the “no social life” thing), so this is just a foreign situation entirely.

“O-Okay.” More wary than necessary, you take the bag from Marth’s hands. As you carefully unroll the bag so you can access the opening, you check out the design pressed onto it. The background is a plain navy blue, and then there’s the word “onion” in pink, with a picture of a very realistic onion underneath. There is nothing else.

Why does Marth have this.

“Why do you have this?” you blurt out, unable to hold back a bit of a giggle in your voice. Though, perhaps you can guess: with that shirt? Maybe Marth is actually just an impulsive buyer.

“I…” Haha, he’s embarrassed and having trouble looking at you directly. “I just… I just thought it was neat!” Bingo: impulsive shopper indeed. Maybe he doesn’t get out of his castle much back home to do civilian activities like this. Not to forget the time period differences and all that.

“Just open the gift already!” Fox yells out, though there’s no bite to his tone. He, Zelda, and Peach just seem amused. Oh yeah, you’re supposed to be the flustered one here, getting gifts and everything. You let out a deep exhale and reach into the bag, carefully pulling out the oddly weighty object within. You can’t help but gasp a little when you finally see it.

It’s a small sculpture of a dragon, made from a green mineral. Jade, perhaps? Absently, you gently run your fingers over its coiled body. Every scale has been carved in carefully.

“Wow…” is all you can say. You’re so focused on the dragon and your emotions that you don’t notice how Marth awkwardly fidgets in front of you, trying to discern your reaction.

“The craftsmanship is beautiful, isn’t it?” You hum in agreement with his words, fixated on the way the natural splashes of yellow and brown within the jade spiral around and somehow flow with the dragon’s form. “It was so strange, I took one look at it and… for some reason I was reminded o-of you.”

You finally look up at him, noticing that he’s looking away again. His face almost looks flushed, but you assume it’s just a trick of the light.

“...I remind you of a dragon?”

“Well, yes!” Marth pauses to recollect his thoughts, answering with an easy smile. “Lone guardian of a realm; a fierce determination… We all saw how you won that game.”

“Hey! Jury’s still out on that one,” Fox reminds him, his flash of competitiveness cutting into this moment you and Marth are having. “We’re taking that play to the highest court to judge its validity.”

“Court? Like a tennis court?” Peach says playfully, smile on her face. Fox nods.

“Exactly. Winner-takes-all tennis tournament. Whoever wins the tennis game _also_ wins the baseball game for their team.”

Zelda rolls her eyes while Peach just giggles. “Oh, that sounds fun! Hopefully the rain will stop before tomorrow morning so we can play.”

You have a feeling it won’t, so you decide not to say anything. So you return your attention to Marth, who’s staring at you quite intently. Eek, why is he doing that?! Is there something on your face…?

“Uh, thanks. For the gift. It’s really cool,” you say lamely, your mouth moving on its own before you have the chance to structure something not embarrassing in your head. “I mean! I-I really like it. No one’s ever really… given me something like this before…”

“Really?” Zelda asks, pensive. “Then where did all those statues come from…? Did you make them all?”

“Uhh--” is all you can get out before you hear someone calling your voice in the distance. After you gently place the dragon sculpture back in the bag, you start to turn to see who it is, but suddenly find yourself being yanking into a tight embrace.

“I KNEW you should have just come with us!” Just as fast as she hugged you, Daisy pulls back with her hands on your shoulders, looking straight into your eyes. “Did that dumb Koopa hurt you? Cuz if he did, I’ll kick his butt!”

“I-I’m fine!” you squeak, still a bit dazed from _all this attention_ you’ve gotten in the last few minutes. You’d like to add that Bowser hadn’t exactly been _the_ problem character here, but the words die in your throat.

“Well! I’ll still kick his butt anyways!” Daisy gives the mansion a fierce stare, before her expression relaxes into one of contemplation. “...Hmm, well, at least _our_ rooms look like they might be okay,” she says, referring to the group currently present.

“They are,” you confirm, recalling where their little gaggle of rooms is in relation to the full extent of the wreckage. “The damage is on a little less than half of the wing, and you guys are on the safe side.” You’d be willing a bet almost half of the Smashers are going to need to relocate, however.

“Hey, I think I see Falco’s room.” Fox points at the gaping hole on a higher floor, where half a room is still standing. While there’s nothing in there you could recognize as Falco’s, you’re pretty sure that’s where you remember seeing the nameplate for his room. “Oh man, he’s gonna be ticked about this for _weeks._ ”

A few chuckles sound out around the circle. You feel bad, but Falco’s constant misfortune _is_ pretty funny, you have to admit.

“I suppose you’ll be seeing Master Hand about this, right?” Zelda asks, returning her attention to you. Are you that predictable? No no, it would be a totally reasonable thing to visit Master Hand about something like this… right? Why wouldn’t you? You need to talk to him about repairs, as well as what to do about those involved. Because boy, do you have some ideas!

“Y-Yeah,” you respond honestly, feeling nervous about confessing to it but you’re not sure why. For some reason, the Smashers around you frown in response. Why?

Peach gently places a hand on your arm to get your attention. “Go easy on them, will you?”

What? Are they worried for their fellow Smashers? Even after what they did?

“Not on Ganondorf though,” Fox adds. “He always deserves to be knocked down a peg or two. Wring him out for everything you can.”

“Bowser too! Give him the old one-two!” Daisy makes a punching motion as she grins. What?? You have no idea what they’re talking about now.

“I, uh… okay?” You hope nobody realizes how lost your voice sounds. Zelda whispers something to Peach and, with a smile, the blonde hands her something from her handbag. Wearing her own smile, Zelda approaches you and grabs your arm.

“Here, it looks like you have a little scratch--” Looking down, you notice that she’s right! There’s a thin cut on your upper arm, just barely tucked away out of sight. When did that get there? You don’t remember getting hurt recently. Zelda carefully affixes the pink bandage she got from Peach over the cut, then looks back up at your face with a gentle expression. “There. All better.”

Your face feels warm.

“What?! You really _were_ hurt??” Daisy’s jaw drops and then she pouts. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I-I didn’t even notice it,” you answer with complete honesty. “And it’s just a small scratch - it’s really not a big deal.”

“Of course it’s a big deal!” Daisy puts her hands on her hips, ready to go on a tirade, but Marth thankfully interjects.

“Perhaps it’s only small this time, but I’d hope you tell us if you ever sustained a larger injury.” He gives you a kind smile, but you sense an underlying sternness to his tone. “We may have only known each other for a short time, but…”

He pauses, allowing Zelda to jump in. “You’re part of the family now, so we’re all looking out for you.”

“I’ve gotta say, we’ve never had a host as cool as you,” Fox adds. “They usually want nothing to do with us. Wonder why, huh?” He chuckles, and you can’t help but smile a bit.

“You’re not alone anymore,” Peach says, taking you aback, because you’ve never told any of the Smashers about your history with this mansion. Then again, was it really that hard to guess? “We’re all here for you, so don’t hesitate to come to us if you need anything.”

“Well, _most_ of us are here for you,” Daisy corrects, giving the collapsed part of the mansion a pointed look. You let out a little laugh at that, though it sounds more watery than you were anticipating. Oh no! You’re getting emotional!

“Aww, come here.” Zelda wraps her arms around you in a hug, patting you on the head in a comforting manner. Daisy joins in as well, embracing you tightly from the opposite side. Fox, Peach, and Marth just watch with amused smiles as you try not to cry.

“Th-Thanks you guys,” you croak. Agh, you’re such a sap! If you told your past self that you’d be making friends with the fighters of _Super Smash Bros._ AFTER they repeatedly totaled your mansion and the property around it, they would have never believed you.

But… here you are, huh? With a souvenir and all!

Part of you had honestly been wanting to back out of the deal with Master Hand after all this - to preserve your realm, and your sanity - but… maybe you can hang in there a little bit longer. Why should you let a few problem Smashers get to you? Why, when there are so many great ones you’ve bonded with? No, you will just have to approach this from a different angle when you meet with Master Hand.

The sound of a bell brings you out of your thoughts, and when you peek away from the entanglement of arms, you see Mr. Game & Watch standing nearby. One of his hands is mysteriously holding a 3D umbrella. You decide not to think about it too hard. With a series of beeps, he informs you that Master Hand is ready to see you.

“Looks like I gotta go.” You sniff and pry away from Zelda and Daisy, who release you with some reluctance. You’re a bit nervous about this meeting, but it’s definitely not something you should put off.

“It’s late, so I guess we’ll probably see you tomorrow.” Zelda says, and you make a sound of affirmation. You’re not sure how long this meeting will take, but after today’s events (cooking, baseball, _and_ the huge fight) you are ready for a long and wonderful sleep.

“Don’t forget!” Daisy says. “Don’t go easy on any of them!”

“But don’t be too harsh, alright dear?” Peach adds. You assume they are referring to whatever punishment you are hoping to dole out, so you nod. With a series of parting words and “good night”s, the five Smashers wave to you as you follow Mr. Game & Watch to the front entrance of the mansion, and you awkwardly wave back. Game & Watch graciously holds out the umbrella to you, and you take it and position it in such a way that prevents both of you from getting wet.

So, like. You’re envisioning punishment of some kind for everyone involved in this mess. Ganondorf? Absolutely. He deserves everything coming for him. Bowser and Bowser Jr.? ...You’re not sure yet. It was uncool of them to get wrapped up in the fight so easily, but… well, maybe you’re letting personal bias cloud your judgement. Just because they were nice to you once, doesn’t mean the next time will be the same. Oh, and mister cardboard box man? He can go straight to _heck._ What was he thinking, using explosives indoors?! You wouldn’t be surprised if he caused more damage trying to “defuse” the situation than the others combined.

Master Hand’s base of operations in your realm is a room on the highest floor. You’d skip up the stairs if you were alone, but you’re not, so you just follow Mr. Game & Watch silently as the exhaustion of the day really starts settling in. Along the way, you envision the tote bag and its contents being sent to your room, and then it is out of your hands. You didn’t want to keep carrying it around - and if something happened to it? Horror. You can’t even think about that right now. Away, foul thought! You will not let such accursed things happen to your very _nice_ and _wonderful_ gift. You don’t know if you’d trust yourself to keep it safe in your current sleepy state.

Before the Smashers arrived, you often _struggled_ to find things to do around your realm that could wear you out. Now you’re ending every day feeling ready to conk out at any moment. Sure, you’re tired, but… it’s pretty fulfilling. It’s proof of the life you live now, and while you wish you could stop time and take a day off from all this craziness, you don’t miss the tedium that came with babbling to yourself in empty rooms.

Now, the _content_ of your days - some of that you could live without. Today’s fight? The general destructive mischief of certain Smashers? Yeah, you wish you had a rewind button for that stuff. The rest of the busy-ness is fine, but that stuff needs to go - and hopefully, talking with Master Hand will lead to a solution for it.

As you turn the corner and reach the right hallway, you’re surprised to see all your little _troublemakers_ all in one place, though there are more than you expected. There are six of them, all seated in ugly plastic chairs lined up outside of Master Hand’s office. Bowser has his arms crossed and looks like a grumpy child in a timeout chair. Beside him, Bowser Jr. looks similarly grumpy, though is slouched and sighing loudly. Across from them is Ganondorf, also sitting with his arms crossed. His eyes are closed and his face is wearing a neutral expression. You have no idea what he’s thinking or feeling… and you’re not sure you even _want_ to know.

Mysterious mister cardboard box man - _alright,_ it’s Solid Snake! Happy? - is here as well, of course. He seems pretty relaxed compared to everyone else, smoking a cigarette and all. You crinkle your nose at the smell openly. A few chairs down is Ike, who looks a bit agitated to be sitting around like this. You’re not surprised to see him here - he must have really stayed close, like he suggested. A warm feeling spreads within you at the thought of that. Next to him is… Toon Link? What? When did he get here? Did he get involved in the fight too? Regardless, his body is half-off the chair as he snoozes away, snoring loudly. Well, he’s definitely unconcerned about getting in trouble… or maybe he just decided to park here for a nap. Guess you’ll find out soon enough.

Ike is the first to notice you as you approach, and he rises from his chair when he does. “You’re not hurt, are you?” His eyes give you a once over, likely looking for any irregularities in your appearance. His eyes land on the bright pink bandaid on your arm and he raises a brow.

“Just a scratch,” you explain quickly. “I uh, got out of the building pretty quickly.” Ike follows your gaze to Snake, who is watching the both of you silently out of the corner of his eye. The swordsman’s smile turns wry.

“Well, at least one of us did something good…” Not giving you more time to talk, Mr. Game & Watch moves past Ike and reaches the door to Master Hand’s office. Without further adieu, he opens it and gestures you to go inside.

“Guess I’ll uh, be back in a bit?” you try, not sure what else to say. Ike nods and watches as you approach the door, passing by the other seated Smashers along the way. Snake continues to watch you silently through the cigarette smoke wafting in front of his face. Junior gives you a somewhat timid glance, while Bowser looks like he wants to say something to you, but just sighs instead. Ganondorf chuckles as you walk by, but when you look at him, his eyes are still closed and he refuses to give further comment.

Toon Link continues to snore.

You stop in front of the study and glance over everyone one last time before stepping into the room. Mr. Game & Watch closes the door behind you. Outside, you hear some muffled beeping noises and then Ike responding in an exasperated tone, and then things go quiet.

With a deep breath, you walk further into Master Hand’s office.

What had this room been again? A relaxation room? You’re pretty sure that was it - you never came in often since you could never get the hang of any of that “meditation” stuff. So that’s why you chose it for Master Hand to repurpose, and then relocated the room to the ground floor. What’s the point of having a relaxation room if you have to climb all the way to the top floor to get to it? Yeah, your mansion layout really wasn’t well thought out. Anyways, Master Hand has done wonders to this place - you can’t find a single trace of what it used to be. You also can hardly spot a trace of what it currently _is_ \- the lighting is focused on the center, making it feel like you’re in a narrow corridor. Or one of those dim rooms you’d find in a horror movie, where the main character sneaks in and gets jumped by a monster.

Best not to think about that!

In the shade, you notice there are a lot of things lying around the room, though clearly organized in their own chaotic way. Books, articles, photographs… You can imagine Master Hand holing himself up in here to work feverishly on details for the _Smash_ event. Or perhaps this is more like a second storage room for him - you’re pretty sure he’s in and out of this realm a lot, so his real base of operations may be somewhere else in the multiverse. You honestly have no clue. You have to step over a few rolled up blueprints to approach the desk, which looks significantly more organized than the rest of the room. The chair is turned to face away from the desk.

The chair back is not big enough to obscure the giant floating hand.

Oh geez, is he gonna do the thing where he spins around dramatically? That sounds a bit more like something Crazy would do, but nope, that is definitely a right hand. But maybe it shouldn’t surprise you that Master Hand has a flair for the dramatic - he _is_ the mastermind behind _Smash Bros.,_ after all.

You don’t have to wait long - as you suspected, the chair swivels around and you are face-to-glove with Master Hand himself.

“Good evening,” the giant floating hand says calmly. “We’ve been expecting you.”

You hear snapping from the corner of the room. Crazy Hand spins around in his own chair that you failed to notice before, snapping his fingers to a steady beat. Master Hand groans and waves at him.

“No, you idiot! We agreed on routine number thirty-one today! That’s number _thirteen._ ”

Crazy Hand stops snapping, pausing to process what he’s being told before pulling a sheet of paper out from somewhere and holding it up for his brother to see. “No, look, it’s right here! You wrote we’re doing thirteen!”

The sheet of paper is mostly blank, aside from the number “13” written and circled with blue crayon.

“You do this every single time, why I--” Master Hand preemptively stops his lecture when he sees the paper, yanking it out of Crazy’s fingers and placing it on the desk to study it. “...Oh, yes, you’re right. My mistake - it seems I made a typo. Well, anyways, now that that’s out of the way...”

He sweeps the paper off of the desk and it falls into a conveniently placed wastebasket. You can’t help but smile at these antics, suddenly feeling your tension ebb away…

Hold on, was that their plan all along? For some reason, you recall your conversation with Luigi - the one about how rules weren’t always _enforced_ around here. Could these guys be trying to mellow you out with jokes and lighthearted scenes so you don’t give them an earful? Or, err… a _handful?_ Ha ha okay but seriously these jokes gotta end it’s time for _business._

“You’re here to discuss the _incident_ that occurred today, of course?” When you nod, Master Hand continues: “Yes, of course you are. Well, I’m sure you’ll be pleased to know that we can be done repairs in two days’ time. This includes the damaged building itself, as well as everyone’s belongings. Including yours, obviously. You won’t even notice anything was damaged in the first place.”

Two days?! That’s impossible! You don’t even know if _you_ would have the energy to do all that in that time frame.

“That’s… good.” As unbelievable as it is, you’re pretty sure he’s telling the truth. That’s not really the important part of this meeting, however. “Can we discuss, uh… something else?”

“Something else? Such as…?” Master Hand waits patiently, and you get the feeling he’s feigning ignorance because it’s a subject he’d rather avoid.

“I mean… the Smashers. The ones responsible for this. What are you going to do with them?”

“Hmm… What do you think I should do?”

Agh, he’s going to make you spell it out! “Shouldn’t you like… b-ban some of them from the tournament? Or… something…?”

Master Hand sighs - yep, he knew where this was going all along. “That’s inconceivable. I cannot remove anyone from the tournament. This was covered in the contract that you signed.”

What?! Oh, _of course_ it was! You _knew_ you should have read it! What a _fool_ you are for thinking that little impulsive maneuver was a good idea. You hope your voice doesn’t sound _too_ frantic - too _desperate_ \- when you start speaking again:

“So… there’s NOTHING any of them can do that would result in getting them kicked out?”

“No. We cannot under any circumstances remove individuals from the tournament after the roster has been finalized. Which it _has_ been,” he adds, just in case you wanted to ask. “Think of the backlash we’d face if we hypothetically removed a fan favourite a week before the tournament started! You understand, don’t you?”

Oh, you understand just fine. What a horrible system! Someone could destroy your home - your _entire realm_ \- but they’d face little to no consequences for it. The show MUST go on, after all! You could be _hurt,_ with a sickening realization, and you’d still have to see the individual responsible day in and day out - not just in the tournament, but on your property too!

As if reading your mind, Crazy Hand chimes in. “Fear not, fair damsel! Sir Crazy will protect you from the dragons and snakes! And the dogs, and the mice, and the flowers...”

You don’t really like being thought of a “damsel in distress” ( _you’re_ the one who’s the dragon, after all!), nor do you particularly trust Crazy Hand to be there when you need help, but you decide to stew in silence while he keeps listing things he vows to protect you from. He only stops when an audible _thud_ is heard from outside.

“...and the bees, and the real estate agents-- Aha! There they are now! Have no fear, for I will prove my worth on the fields of battle!” Crazy Hand floats to the door and opens it, letting you be privy to the commotion going on in the hall. It sounds like the _delinquents_ are arguing about something, though you can’t tell what. Crazy grabs a chair and yells “THIS HOUSE IS NOT FOR SALE!!”, joining the fray as the door swings shut on its own. You can hear muffled shouts, but none of the context associated with it.

“...Anyways,” Master Hand says nonchalantly, as if your conversation hadn’t been interrupted. “You may be pleased to know that, while we can’t ban fighters, we can penalize them. More specifically, _you_ can penalize them.”

He uses a finger to slide a folder from the edge of his desk to the space in front of you. The label on it reads “INFRACTIONS”, as well as today’s date.

“Whenever there is a particularly nasty incident involving the _Super Smash Bros._ participants and our other affiliates, we document every detail about who is responsible for what. Should you deem the casualties worthy of punishment, you may come to us and fill out a form to decide who is needing of a penalty. The penalties are given in 10% increments - no more, no less - and can build up with each incident that occurs. The maximum penalty for a fighter is 100% per round - if there continue to be incidents after that threshold is reached, we start applying them to the second round of the tournament… and so on. Whether you choose to apply a penalty or not is set in stone - you cannot change your mind after you submit the form. If you don’t fill out and submit the form before the twenty-four hour deadline, we assume you chose to give out _no penalty._ Is this clear?”

“Y-Yeah…” So, you can place a handicap on Smashers to make the tournament more difficult for them. You recall past tournaments (particularly the most recent one), where Smashers would start rounds with damage already taken. So this must have been why - they were breaking rules off-camera. 10% isn’t a lot, but you know that’ll build up. 100%? That’s almost a guaranteed loss. It’s almost unfair - you feel kind of wary giving these out now! Who moves on in the tournament could be in _your_ hands.

“One more thing,” Master Hand says, drawing your attention away from the unopened folder in front of you. “The decision you make here… will not be publicized. The participants will not find out if they’ve been penalized until the tournament begins. You can tell them beforehand if you wish, but we understand if you’d rather that be private. We may also apply our own penalties if Smashers break their contracts or do something truly reprehensible, so they won’t know who the penalties come from.”

That is admittedly a load off your back. This reduces the chance of you getting on someone’s bad side even if you ruin their chances at the tournament. You’ll still feel bad about it (mostly), but maybe this’ll prevent you from giving certain people special treatment just because you want to be their friend.

“Should I give you some time to look things over and fill out the form?” Master Hand asks.

“Yeah, please,” you reply somewhat weakly. You haven’t opened the folder yet. Are you scared of what you might find, or of the responsibility this gives you?

Master Hand makes a nodding motion and heads towards the exit… before thinking better of it, hearing the yelling still going on out there, and instead floats towards a corner in the darkness of the room. Then he just sort of… fades away. Did he just exit your realm? Just like that? He must have, you think with a shiver. What the heck.

Okay, no more distractions. Serious time. If you put this off, you’re just gonna miss your chance and then regret it. With a deep breath, you open the folder and take a look at the sheets of paper inside.

The first page is an overview of the incident. You skim it, making sure there are no surprises, and it ends up being pretty much what you assumed. The northeast section of the east wing - top to bottom - needs to be repaired. It even mentions where the destruction started - in Ganondorf’s room. Did Master Hand get that from testimony, or did he… _know_ some other way? You’re not entirely sure what the extent of Master Hand’s abilities are. Though maybe you shouldn’t jump the gun thinking he might be omnipresent. After all, there are plenty of things you don’t know about your own realm - why would he or anyone else know something you don’t? It’s more likely he got that information from someone involved, or maybe he has people keep an eye on things from the shadows.

Well. No use thinking too hard about it right now. Onto the next page.

The following pages are dedicated to the involved Smashers specifically, and all the things they are accountable for. There’s even a flattering picture of the Smasher in question beside each section, just in case you forgot who everyone is.

 

_SSBC Appointed Name: BOWSER_

  * __First Strike__


  * _Down, But Not Out_


  * _Fighter Stance_


  * _Item Catcher_


  * _Item Smasher_


  * _Offensive Artist_


  * _Fire Starter_


  * _Climactic Clash_



_Apply Penalty?:_ _[ ] +0% ||_ _[ ] +10% ||_ _CURRENT TOTAL: 0%_

 

_SSBC Appointed Name: GANONDORF_

  * __Poser__


  * _Pummeler_


  * _Stalker_


  * _Bully_


  * _Poolshark_


  * _Climactic Clash_



_Apply Penalty?:_ _[ ] +0% ||_ _[ ] +10% ||_ _CURRENT TOTAL: 0%_

 

_SSBC Appointed Name: SNAKE_

  * __Master Of Suspense__


  * _Rescuer_


  * _Sniper_


  * _Explosives Expert_


  * _Poor Aim (Seriously, Was He Even Trying?)_


  * _Crash & Burn_


  * _Offensive Master_


  * _Terrain Destroyer_


  * _Impervious_


  * _Stale Moves_



_Apply Penalty?:_ _[ ] +0% ||_ _[ ] +10% ||_ _CURRENT TOTAL: 0%_

 

_SSBC Appointed Name: IKE_

  * __Late Arrival__


  * _Pose Breaker_


  * _One Hit Wonder_


  * _Quadruple KO_


  * _Destroyer Of Priceless Art_


  * _Destroyer Of Priceless Floors_



_Apply Penalty?:_ _[ ] +0% ||_ _[ ] +10% ||_ _CURRENT TOTAL: 0%_

 

_SSBC Appointed Name: TOON LINK_

  * __Blind Eye__


  * _Run, Don’t Walk_


  * _Hobbyist_


  * _Ricochet Rifler_


  * _Berserker_


  * _Destroyer Of Priceless Art_


  * _In The Fray_


  * _Cliffhanger_


  * _Solar Being_



_Apply Penalty?:_ _[ ] +0% ||_ _[ ] +10% ||_ _CURRENT TOTAL: 0%_

 

_SSBC Appointed Name: BOWSER JR_

  * __Cheerleader__


  * _Opportunist_


  * _Elbow Room_


  * _Juggler_


  * _Poser Poseur_



_Apply Penalty?:_ _[ ] +0% ||_   _[ ] +10% ||_ _CURRENT TOTAL: 0%_

 

_Host’s Signature: x______________ _  
_ _SSBC Signature: x______________

 

…

What was this, a _Melee_ bonus score system? Wow. What the actual heck.

At least you can garner the story from this (especially since you were there for the beginning of it). Ganondorf taunted Bowser, prompting him to start the fight (and the fire). Bowser Jr. cheered him on and took potshots at Ganondorf when he could. Snake joined the fray, and almost exclusively used explosives from afar, doing more damage to the mansion than to anything (or any _one_ ) else. Toon Link randomly jumped in for some indecermable reason (probably accidentally got caught up in it, judging by those bonuses), then eventually Ike showed up and managed to overpower nearly everyone, but not without causing terrain damage of his own.

Honestly, you had good reason to give them all a penalty… but also reason not to. Ganondorf is a jerk and taunted Bowser into starting the fight, but it seems like he wasn’t actually responsible for much damage to the building. Bowser is responsible for most of the fire damage and maybe should have been less impulsive, but could you really blame him? Junior was a bystander, but again, he didn’t cause much property damage.

Then you have trigger-happy Snake, who… uh, you guess he was trying to help? He got you out of there, after all. You’d think he’d have better aim than that, though. Ike seems to be pretty unlucky - it’s no surprise his heavy attacks may “accidentally” break something in the area. Toon Link… you have no idea what’s up with him. What _was_ he doing there? Just a coincidence? Maybe if you had met him earlier, he’d know that fighting in the mansion is uncool…???

Yeah, you don’t really have a good defense for him. But are you going to give him a penalty for something that happened within seconds of his arrival? You have no idea what he was thinking or what mood he was in while the fight happened. Maybe he was actually trying to help too. You have no idea.

You look over the list again and again, trying to figure out who actually deserved punishment for today’s events. Before you came in here, it felt pretty black-and-white, but now… you might be second-guessing yourself.

**_What will you do?_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT TIME: suddenly its a beach episode!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
> 
> so i dont think i'll bring up the penalty system in detail again until the tournament starts, but FEEL FREE to give a shout in the comments if you think some smashers deserve to get one for their behaviour / bad deeds from this chapter onwards. i've got a few i'll give out myself, but i'm happy to give out more if other people want it.
> 
> follow me on twitter @Yoshichao for occasional updates on this fic, but mostly nonsense about misc video games and cutting metal. because every time i use a drill or torch i gotta scream about it for everyone to hear.
> 
> hopefully the next update doesn't take so long lol. thanks for reading!!


	10. The Beach Episode

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You join the Smashers on a trip to the beach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO this is CURRENTLY the LONGEST chapter of the fic, sitting at 35 pages, beating the previous record of idk like ~18 or something? yeah, wow lmao. i definitely did not think i'd write SO MUCH, especially after telling myself "oh, i'm not gonna put all 50 or whatever available characters in lol". look who's got egg on their face (it's me). 
> 
> i cannot remember if i mentioned this, but yea there is a Lore to the mc/reader in this fic. i hope that doesnt get too overbearing/strange for some people - it pops up a fair amount in this chapter, and i hope people find it a lil interesting to learn about! i will generally do my best to keep the focus on the smashies though.
> 
> anyways! take a seat, try to refrain from getting up before the commercial break so as to not disturb other viewers, and enjoy the show!! this is ACT X of "THE SMASHERS AND THEIR HOST", now coming to you LIVE on channel 120718.

So, maybe you’re a little bit petty.

After finishing the penalty form, you left a note on Master Hand’s desk asking him to extend the repairs to last a week. Now, why in the world would you do such a thing? Well, it’s so you could approach each of the Smashers who lost their room in the carnage and remorsefully say, “sorry, could you share a room with someone while repairs are being done? It’s going to take awhile, and I want to make sure there’s space for anyone who shows up.”

Some of them grumble, but most of them are pretty understanding even though someone  _ must  _ know you still have enough rooms to house everyone, despite a huge chunk of the options gone. You end up saying this to Bowser, Ganondorf, Toon Link, Falco, Shulk, blue Inkling, DK, Diddy, Ike, R.O.B., Samus, and… Snake, maybe? The last time you saw him was when you left Master Hand’s office, and the six responsible Smashers were trapped in an elaborate cage made of chairs with Crazy Hand watching over them like a prison guard. You didn’t think to put your plan into motion at that precise moment, so when you went looking for the special agent later, he was nowhere to be found. So you kinda just left a sticky note on a conspicuous cardboard box and hoped it would reach him.

Ganondorf had understandably been the one you were most worried about, but he didn’t give you  _ too  _ much sass when you approached him, flanked by Ike and Samus. You have no idea where the so-called King of Evil or most of the others ended up with the new arrangements - you witnessed Mario offer his room to Bowser, and Samus seemed to be staying with Peach, but anyone else was a big question mark. Honestly, as long as they didn’t get cozy in a new room, you didn’t really care. 

You felt a bit guilty about extending your idea of  _ punishment  _ to a ton of uninvolved Smashers, but it was the only subtle thing you could think of! You’re not good at placing and enforcing rules! Heck, you couldn’t even go all the way and assign the roommates yourself! ...But, in your defense, you think it’s less likely for fights to start if everyone picks their own roommates. You hope so, at least.

...Hmm, maybe this wasn’t the best idea after all. Oh well, what’s done is done. On the plus side, you also asked Master Hand to install an elevator somewhere while he’s making the repairs, so at least  _ something  _ positive is coming out of all this.

Following your wishes, the day after the incident showed little progress on the ruined wing. Everyone’s recovered/reproduced personal belongings were delivered to them, but work on the building only covered the ground foundation. The Smashers kept remarking on how strange it was, and it was hard to look natural as you agreed with them. 

You think they bought it.

As you predicted, the rain continued throughout the new day, resulting in what you believe was a  _ lazy day _ at the mansion. While you were chatting with other Smashers in the sitting room, Ness came in and took control of the TV, linking it to a Netflix account. And that’s how the rest of the day went. People came in and out while you ended up watching what felt like every movie genre in the multiverse, and by the end of the night it seemed like half of the mansion had passed out on the floor. You snuck away at the end of the last movie to sleep in your own bed for the few hours left of nighttime.

Clear skies returned the next day, and the Smashers were  _ immediately  _ on that tennis tournament that Fox and the others proposed. The whole mansion couldn’t be convinced to join this time, but you’re pretty sure the vast majority showed up - especially with the clause that “whoever wins this also retroactively wins the baseball game”. But you’re pretty sure that promise was quickly forgotten, because the competitors showed no mercy to their old teammates when they faced each other on the court.

You were roped into playing, of course. Nerve-wracking, but baseball had gone well, so why not? 

First round: you opponent is Pikachu.

With a wicked grin, the electric rat pulls no punches, using every dirty trick it was capable of. Tennis is somehow even more lawless than baseball was, with everyone abusing their abilities to the fullest. You don’t even get a point on Pikachu. You do, however, get plenty of electric shocks for even  _ daring  _ to try to hit the ball.

When Pikachu gets knocked out in the third round by Mr. Game & Watch, you are cheering  _ extra  _ loud.

The semi-finals are intense: the highlight being Link and Ganondorf’s match. You never would have taken them for being such great tennis players! The back-and-forth between them is the most incredible thing you’ve seen in the tournament thus far - the ball is a blur as they rapidly hit it back and forth, with each point going on for minutes at a time on more than one occasion. They’re tied at 40-40 for a good eight plays, before finally Link performs the winning smash attack and secures victory. Ganondorf’s immediate yell of frustration is the most unrestrained you’ve heard him since meeting him, and it’s actually  _ hilarious  _ to see him lose composure so suddenly. Not that you’d mention that to his face or anything. Nope, you’re just gonna hide your laughs behind your hands in case he looks this way...

The finalists are Link and Lucario. Lucario surprises you by playing tennis with his eyes closed, using his connection to the aura to accurately sense when and where to hit the ball. A few opponents would try to take advantage of this and use energy blasts to throw him off, but this would only ever work once per match. Link isn’t capable of anything like that, so this promises to be a straightforward match. The two are neck-and-neck for the whole match, but finally Link makes the mistake of hitting a lob, and Lucario leaps and delivers a smashing blow, seizing the win at last. There is not a single person who isn’t cheering. What a game!

“Hold on,” you hear Sonic say from beside you. Daisy had been sitting there earlier, but when she got up to grab a bag of popcorn from snack server Charizard, the hedgehog zipped in and took her place. Well, with a group this big, of course there’d be limited bleacher space, so obviously he was just taking any space he could get. Anyways, Sonic is wearing stupid sweatbands around his head and arms, and it looks very silly alongside his pensive expression. “Lucario didn’t play baseball with us, so if he’s the tennis champion, then who won the baseball game?”

...And that’s how you get roped up in a doubles tournament.

“Hey, baby! Let’s partner up!” As everyone is scrambling to find their teammates, Captain Falcon comes out of nowhere and grabs your arm, giving you a twirl before dipping you gracefully. It’s still embarrassing, but you’ve somehow become so used to his antics that you can keep a (mostly) straight face when he does this stuff.

“Uh, we were on different teams for baseball,” you point out, worming your way out of his arms and standing up straight. You are giving him an amused deadpan, and definitely not the look of a flustered cat. “If we win, then... what does that mean?”

“There is no winning or losing when it comes to romance!” he says very confidently, striking a pose. So confidently that you’re inclined to believe it, even if you have no idea what he’s trying to get at.

“Okay, sure, let’s go with that. I’ll go tell Robin that we’re a team.” Male Robin had been one of the few Smashers to trickle in over the last couple days, and was currently acting as the bracket maker. He declined the offer to join the tournament himself, preferring to watch from the sidelines. How very relatable.

As you make your way to Robin, you don’t notice the handful of Smashers glaring at Captain Falcon. He just grins, taking the passive-aggressive atmosphere in stride.

You’ve come to realize that the F-Zero pilot is a one-man show in everything he does, and team tennis is no exception. He does acrobatic leaps across the entire court to claim the ball, even regularly breaching your zone. You don’t really mind though, since you’re pretty bad at this sport. Because of him alone, you soar through the tournament and end up in the finals, where you face off against the Ice Climbers.

Now, Captain Falcon may have the reflexes and the height advantage, but the two of you are  _ nothing  _ compared to the synergy that Nana and Popo have. The two of them throw each other across the court without hesitation, always prepared for when the other makes a sudden move. The two of them stand back-to-back for a whirling racket attack and win the game. Falcon is clearly in disbelief, but you’re not even mad! You congratulate them and give them each a high five, which they have to hop to reciprocate so they can reach over the net.

“THREE-ON-THREE TOURNAMENT!” someone wails from the crowd, because once again, the original purpose of this tournament is unfulfilled.

You actually manage to sit this one out by claiming the last tournament sapped your strength (and you do find yourself turning down a surprising amount of people). The line-up is smaller this time around, and the matches are a bit more clumsy since tennis is definitely  _ not  _ a 3v3 game. Red and Leaf both do pretty well with their Pokemon representing them, but the winner ends up being… … … ... !!!

...Duck Hunt Dog snickers as an invisible bullet comes out of nowhere and hits the tennis ball back, sending it past Link for the winning point. The Duck quacks in triumph, dropping the racket from its beak.

Well, they  _ are  _ technically a three-man team, you suppose.

A four-on-four tennis tournament is decided to be unthinkable after much debate, so the matter of the baseball game is left unresolved for the day. As you make your way back to the mansion to spend the rest of the day doing something more peaceful, you hear talks of a soccer game in the works.

The following morning is just as lovely as the last, and you find yourself outside soon after waking up. Notably, you’re making a point to avoid the early morning  _ jazzercise  _ group parked outside the front entrance. You have a feeling they are going to be a regular sight from now on. 

“Not for you either, huh?” Turning, you see Shulk approaching you as he holds back a yawn. His hair is a bit tussled, as if he woke up not long ago. “I tried to join them during the last event, but, um, it’s not for me.”

The image of Shulk struggling to keep up with male WFT’s jazzercise routine almost makes you laugh. The Smashers currently participating are Captain Falcon, Pikachu, Link, and both Inklings. The former three are faring well, like they’re used to doing this, but blue Inkling looks like he’s probably not going to return after today. Orange is having trouble keeping up too, but she looks like she’s having a blast nonetheless.

“I’m surprised Pikachu is so into it,” you admit. “I thought it only cared about winning and being a brat.”

Shulk smiles. “So did I, but I guess even Pikachu has hidden depths…”

You absolutely  _ cannot  _ fathom Pikachu having hidden depths. Apparently it likes dancing, but that doesn’t mean it’s anything other than a destructive prankster. You have to wonder if the electric type-Pokemon has always been like this, or if being a veteran has made it big-headed. Maybe Pikachu is like Ganondorf, using a champion position as an excuse to lord itself over everyone else. 

Spotting someone walking along the path in your direction, you give them a friendly wave.

“Oh, hello Lucario,” Shulk greets as the aura Pokemon approaches. Lucario looks at the both of you with a nod.

_ “Good morning.” _ Man, you don’t know if you will ever get used to that! The telepathic greeting makes you shudder. Lucario’s gaze focuses on you, acknowledging your involuntary shiver but neglecting to comment on it.  _ “I’d like to commend you for the meditation room. The energy crystals are very effective.” _

“Oh, uh, thanks. Or, you’re welcome…?” You honestly didn’t know what you were doing when you made that room. You just kinda threw in a bunch of stuff related to relaxation and spiritual energy. Apparently you did a good. Hooray!

Lucario gives you a funny look, but doesn’t comment further. Before you can embarrass yourself even more, you hear someone calling your name, and you look up to see Daisy running towards you.

“You’re coming to the beach with us!!” she hollers before she’s even reached your position. Already you have no idea what to say, and almost wonder if you missed something or she’s talking to someone else. You hope she’ll elaborate, but when she finally stops in front of you, all she does is grin.

“...what?” you ask lamely. Daisy rolls her eyes.

“I told you, didn’t I? Since you missed out on the shopping trip, you HAD to come with us the next time we went somewhere. And! We’re going to the beach today!” 

Paranoia grips you hard, and you find yourself breaking into a cold sweat. Trying to play it off as nothing, you offer a nervous laugh. “Wh-What, I don’t get any say in this…?”

“Nope!”

She answered so fast! You are totally unprepared for this! 

“If…” Quick, come up with something! “If you guys wanted to go swimming, couldn’t you just use the pool?”

“Hmm…” Her thinky expression almost gives you hope, but it’s quickly deflated when she continues speaking. “Maybe another time! There are a lot of things you can do at a beach that you can’t do at a pool. And I’m in the mood for the BEACH!” She lets out a “WOOHOO!”, as if trying to pump you up. It is unsuccessful.

“Uh… W-Well, I probably should stay here anyways, just in case more Smashers show up and need help getting settled…”

Daisy pouts, unhappy with your excuse. For a moment, it almost looks like you’re in the clear, but then Lucario chimes in:  _ “If you wish, I could stay here and attend to any new arrivals while you are gone.” _

“That’s a great idea!” Daisy exclaims. You, quite frankly, do not agree.

“I dunno,” you try, even as victory is quickly slipping away from your grasp, “I-I really think I should be here…”

_ “...Do you believe I wouldn’t do a satisfactory job?” _

“No, that’s not it!” you say, and now you’ve done it! You’ve basically thrown in the towel at this point. “It’s just, uh… you know?? Maybe they’ll have questions that you can’t answer, o-or… um...”

“I’m  _ sure  _ they’ll be able to wait a few hours for you to come back,” Daisy says with a knowing grin. “C’mon! You can’t just stay cooped up in this place _ forever. _ ” She pouts and bats her eyes at you cutely, pulling out all the stops to convince you. “Pleeeeeease?”

You let out a groan, finally accepting your sad defeat. She’s probably not going to leave you alone until you say yes anyways. “Fine,” you grumble, and find yourself instantly swept up in a hug.

“YES! I knew you’d say yes! Yippee!” She laughs and releases you. “Alright, time to round up everyone else! Shulk, are you coming?!”

The boy gives an awkward smile, the sudden attention catching him off-guard. “Uh, sure, why not?” 

“Heck yeah! You two get ready because we’re going to have the BEST. BEACH PARTY. EVER! See you soon!” With a cheer, Daisy runs off towards the jazzercise group. “HEY GUYS, WANNA GO TO THE BEACH WITH US?!”

“She has a lot of energy, doesn’t she...?” Shulk notes aloud, and you chuckle in response.

“At least she’s using that energy for good… mostly.” After a pause, you playfully give Shulk a bump with our elbow. “I’m a bit surprised you agreed to come with us. You don’t strike me as a beach person.”

Shulk gives a little laugh and absently rubs the spot on his arm where you bumped him. “Yeah, well, I’m sure my friends back home would kill me if they found out I spent all my time staying inside and reading books. So I… like to try different things during these  _ Smash  _ events.”

Oh, that makes sense! You  _ did  _ think he was being more outgoing than your first impression of him would suggest. Although quiet, he’s ended up participating in all of the group activities you’ve done with everyone. 

Well… if Shulk can break out of his shell and go to the beach with everyone, then maybe so can you!!!

_ “I can keep an eye on this place while you’re gone,”  _ Lucario reaffirms, as if to help sway your decision. 

“Are you sure?” you ask, but your mind is already warming up to the idea of getting away for a bit. “Don’t you want to go to the beach too?”

The aura Pokemon is silent for a moment, considering how to answer.  _ “...I believe it will be a bit too... crowded for my tastes. Besides, it won’t be every day that the mansion will be quiet.” _ There’s a  _ smirk  _ to his tone, and you understand how he feels  _ completely. _ It’s a shame you won’t be able to enjoy the peace yourself.

“I getcha. Well, if you change your mind, come find me. I don’t mind staying here.” Daisy won’t be happy about it, but you think you could convince her… probably. “Or you could uh, telepath me about it. If that would be faster.” Is ‘telepath’ a verb? Is there a word for transmitting thoughts telepathically? Surely someone has made one. You should look into it later. 

_ “I will. Shouldn’t you go get ready now?” _

“Uh, yeah, I-I guess…” You look to Shulk. “I’ll… see you soon??”

Similarly awkward, Shulk rakes a hand through his hair. “Um, yeah. See ya.”

Aw geez.

After that disaster, you make your way back to your room to “get ready”, taking a shortcut as soon as you’re free of any watching eyes. 

Now, what ARE you going to bring?

* * *

 

When you exit the mansion again, you spot Daisy chatting with some new arrivals.

“You’re going to the beach?! Of COURSE I want to join!” Pit cheers. Palutena and Dark Pit are there as well - it looks like they  _ just  _ arrived, since they all still have their luggage with them. The excitable angel turns to his darker counterpart, though seems to be rambling to himself for than anything. “We could go swimming, or play volleyball-- OH, we could be a TEAM! And then--”

“Who said I wanted to go with you?” Dark Pit interjects, and Pit starts pouting.

“Aww, but it’ll be so much fun! Don’t be a party pooper!”

“I’ll poop on all the parties that I want!” Without giving Pit a chance to respond, Dark Pit grabs his bags and flies off. Smiling, Palutena tilts her staff and Dark Pit’s wings give out, causing him to fall flat on his face. The dark angel grumbles as he stands back up, shooting the goddess a dirty look before continuing to make his exit on foot.

“I’m sure he’ll change his mind,” Palutena says, watching Dark Pit leave before turning back to Daisy. “Anyways, we’ll be happy to join you. Mind if we find our rooms first?”

“Oh yeah, go ahead! Meet us at the runway when you’re done!”

“Thank you. We’ll be there soon - it was nice meeting you, Daisy.” Palutena flicks her staff again, this time lifting all the bags on the ground and throwing them at Pit, who yelps as he’s buried. “Pit, could you carry all these for me?”

The angel shifts until he can poke his head out of the pile. “I uh, don’t have a choice, do I?”

“Nope!”

Sighing, Pit climbs out of the pile and starts grabbing each bag one by one. With a Herculean effort you wouldn’t expect from him, he manages to collect them all and start scurrying towards the front door. His hands are full and his vision is obscured, so you take pity on the angel and open the door for him.

“Excuse me, coming through-- oh, thank you!” He bumps into the door frame as he tries to squeeze inside, sending him twirling once he’s through. Before he can fall, he rights himself and continues on his way, muttering encouragement to himself as he goes. You’re so busy watching him that you don’t notice Palutena’s approach until she’s right in front of you.

“And who’s this cutie?” The Goddess of Light studies you with an amused smile, dangerously close to invading your personal space. Your back is up against the door, so you have nowhere to go.

“That’s our host!” Daisy introduces you so you don’t have to say a word, which you are grateful for. Your voice seems to have up and vanished on you! Oh, where could it have gone?! “They are  _ awesome. _ You should have been here for our baseball game - we DESTROYED the other team!”

“I-It was only by a few points, and the judges are still debating about it,” you clarify, growing more and nervous under Palutena’s steady gaze. She eventually steps away from you, giving you room to breathe.

“Is that so? Hmm, well, I look forward to seeing you around. Don’t be a stranger!” And with that, she turns and casually starts walking in the direction Pit went. You find yourself letting out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding. 

Oh man, you hadn’t been prepared to talk to a deity today…

“All ready to go?” Daisy bounds over to you, already taking your arm and guiding you further outside. Talking to a goddess doesn’t seem to have bothered her in the slightest. You suspect the Sarasaland princess  _ may  _ actually have nerves of steel. Or perhaps no real care for the social hierarchy. 

“Y-Yeah,” you reply, looking towards the runway. You can see plenty of others have already gathered there. It seems everyone is getting in Peach’s plane? “So what beach are we going to? One in your world?”

“Nah, ours are boring. I wanted to check out other worlds!” As Daisy leads you to a nearby golf cart, you wonder how much say she had in the planning of this trip. She is someone who seems difficult to persuade into agreeing otherwise. “We’re going to go to Kirby’s world. I hear they have an  _ orange  _ ocean there! Doesn’t that sound cool?!”

That  _ does  _ sound unusual. You haven’t been to many oceans - your realm doesn’t have one after all, unless you want to count  _ the neverending void  _ as one - so seeing  _ any  _ ocean would be a treat. 

When you hop into the golf cart, Daisy takes the driver’s seat, flooring it all the way to the runway. She yells about all the fun things you’re going to do at the beach, but you don’t really hear her as you grip the frame of the cart for dear life. You didn’t even know these things could go this fast! You worry about hitting a bump and going flying, but you surprisingly make it in one piece.

Your legs are just a little bit wobbly when you step off the golf cart and make your way to the plane. 

Stepping into the plane, you’re surprised just how many Smashers have managed to cram in here. Who knew so many of them liked the beach? Several of them are really in their swimwear. Even Ganondorf is present for this trip, wedged into one of the two seats between Link and Greninja, the latter of whom is beside the window. The seat between Greninja and Ganondorf is empty.

Link notices you come aboard and waves. Ganondorf also notices you.

“Hmph. This seat is  _ taken  _ if you were looking for a place to sit,” Ganondorf says. You weren’t quite at that stage of the boarding process yet yet, but now that he mentions it, you do notice that there really aren’t many empty seats left. “But perhaps… an exception can be made if you  _ beg-- _ ”

“C’mon, we saved you a seat over here!” Daisy drags you to the other side of the plane, leaving Ganondorf dumbstruck at being so  _ rudely  _ interrupted. He scowls in your direction, and you silently thank any deity that might be listening that you don’t have to sit next to him.

The row that Daisy brings you to has most of her usual crowd there: Peach, Mario, Zelda, and Samus are already seated. Daisy urges you to the pair of free seats, taking one of them while you seat yourself in the other. This puts you next to Zelda.

“We’re so glad you could make it,” Zelda says warmly. You do not notice how Daisy sticks her tongue out at the Hylian princess from behind your back, referring to some previous event that you have no knowledge of. “Trust me, we’re going to have  _ a lot _ of fun.”

You make a sound of acknowledgement, feeling the anxiety creeping in now that you are sitting here. You shouldn’t be doing this! You have a mansion to look after! There’s no telling who or  _ what  _ could show up in your absence. 

Startling you out of your fretting, there’s a commotion among the seats behind you. Looking back, you see Captain Falcon hopping across the backs of the seats, throwing a few flips in there for good measure. He soon lands in an empty seat in the row behind you, receiving a few groans from everyone around him.

“Heya doll!” Oh no, he’s talking to you. He’s leaning across one of the backrests from your row to chat with you, grinning as he does so. Gah, this is so embarrassing! “Keep an eye out for me while we’re there! I’ve got some  _ moves  _ I’ve been working on--”

“Oh no you don’t!” With a swiftness you would not expect from an ordinary princess, Zelda gets up from her seat and pulls her fist back, punching Falcon square in the face. The racer groans in pain and reels back, falling back into the seat he stole. The person who was sitting there previously - Marth - returns from his brief excursion and the whole row boos Captain Falcon out of the seat. He’s forced to take the walk of shame back to his place in the back row. 

Well! That was an event that just happened. “...What was that all about?”

“Oh, nothing you need to worry about!” Peach assures you. Before you can push the topic, a feathery distraction boards the plane.

“WOOHOO! Beach time!!” Pit practically leaps through the door, towel hanging around his shoulders. He gapes for a minute at the number of Smashers on the plane, then breaks out into a grin when a handful of his friends cheer for his arrival. He’s giving them high fives as he moves further into the plane. “Hey Link!  _ \--Red?! _ Long time no see, buddy! --MEGAMAN!” With a whoop of joy, Pit practically leaps into the row and plops down beside his robot pal, who smiles in response. They eagerly launch into a discussion about their most recent adventures.

“Hey Palutena~!” Zelda calls out, and you realize that you were so distracted by Pit’s enthusiasm that you failed to notice Palutena boarding the plane behind him. 

“Hello girls,” Palutena responds, waving down your row with a radiant smile. “Happy  _ Smash  _ season everyone.”

“Happy  _ Smash  _ season!” several people echo, and there’s a round of excited cheers. Someone throws a beach ball and it starts getting knocked around the aisles. It’s times like these where you get the impression that the Smashers are just one big family. It’s sweet to see, but…

You honestly kind of feel like an intruder.

“I think that makes everyone,” Daisy says, rising from her seat. “I’ll go tell Toad it’s time to go!” She eagerly heads for the cockpit.

While Master Hand  _ does  _ set up teleporters for Smashers to use to briefly return home during the tournament season, they are set in predetermined locations and can only warp one person at a time. So on group outings like this, sometimes it’s more efficient to take a direct route through the void to reach a destination. In this particular case, Kirby leads the plane through the void with his Warp Star. Thanks to your realm’s “in-between” nature that connects it to an infinite number of worlds, you emerge in Kirby’s world in almost no time at all. You watch in awe as the view out the window shifts from the inky nothingness to a world of blue skies and fluffy clouds - much bluer and much fluffier than anything your realm had to offer.

“Ugh, this place is so  _ cute, _ ” Samus remarks dryly as she stares out the window from her seat with a smirk, and you’re inclined to agree. Below is a world of greens, from grasslands to woods, and in the distance you can see a castle on a hill. Also in the even further distance is a large beanstalk that spirals into the clouds. Somehow, everything seems to have a star motif to it, with faint star-shaped imprints existing in both land and sky -  _ and  _ sea, you soon realize as the plane approaches the huge body of water. It’s not orange, but it’s still incredible nonetheless, somehow simultaneously being very vibrantly blue but also translucent enough for you to see colonies of coral. 

The plane lands not too far from the beach, and everyone starts making a mad dash outside. You take your time so you can avoid the rush. By the time you get outside, almost everyone has dispersed to go do their own thing. You would have loved to take this opportunity to go for a walk alone and check out other facets of this world - the woods, the caves, maybe even the skies - but you find yourself being guided towards the sandy beach with a hand resting on your back.

“Ready for a day in the sun?” Zelda asks, wearing a strange smile. The other have already gone ahead, so it’s just you two lagging behind. 

“I-I guess,” you reply, unable to keep the hesitation out of your voice. You suddenly feel nervous again. Zelda senses your change in mood, allowing you to keep your leisurely pace instead of rushing you to catch up with the others.

“Don’t worry, you’ll have lots of fun. I promise.”

When you finally reach the sand, you can’t help but notice each individual grain is in the shape of a star. Most of them are the usual shades of brown that you’d find on a beach, but there are a lot of coloured grains as well, giving the sand a faint rainbow-like appearance if you look at it long enough. You stop staring at your feet long enough to see Pikachu dashing towards the water with a surfboard balanced on its head. The rat dashes past the female Wii Fit Trainer, who is doing stretches. As if on cue to your arrival, she turns to face you.

“Oh, Princess Zelda! I was about to warm up with a swim across the ocean and back. Would you like to join me?”

“Maybe next time,” Zelda replies, suddenly linking arms with you. “Good luck, though!”

WFT blinks, looking confused. “I’m not sure why I need ‘luck’... but thank you anyways.” With a wave, she starts jogging towards the ocean. She passes by her male counterpart, who is standing in front of Luigi, Olimar, and Pacman.

“Alright gang, now that we’re all warmed up, we’re going to do fifty laps around the beach! Let’s get those muscles burning!”

The group starts jogging with male WFT in the lead. His enthusiasm unfortunately doesn’t seem to be rubbing off on the others. You hope they all make it back alright.

“Oh dear,” you hear Zelda say. When you turn, you spot Kirby running by… with a bikini top tied to his head. 

“Oh my god,” you say, unable to keep back a few giggles. Zelda starts laughing too. “Where did he get _ that? _ ”

Kirby jumps into the sea and the top slides right off, floating uselessly on the surface. When the puffball emerges, he’s relaxed for a moment before realizing he’s missing something, looking around wildly. When he sees the bikini top, he… inhales it. And then goes back to relaxing in the water.

“What was even the point of that?” you wonder aloud. Zelda starts leading you down the beach.

“I often wonder what’s going on in his head. I don’t think there’s anyone that knows.” She shakes her head with a smile. “Anyways, enough of that. What would you like to do first?”

“Um…” You’re not used to people asking what you want to do. You’ve just been getting dragged from activity to activity. Where would you even want to start?

“May I make a suggestion?” Zelda asks, smiling in amusement. You let her lead you to the volleyball court. Some others already seem to be trying to set up a game there.

“Hey guys!” Daisy greets, beaming when she sees you. “We need one more team to make a tournament. You in?”

Zelda looks at you, and you shrug. She looks back to Daisy with a smile. “Sure, we’ll play.”

Everyone else on the beach seems preoccupied with their own thing to notice a tournament going on, so you only end up with four teams. There’s you and Zelda, Peach and Daisy, Marth and Lucina, and finally Pit and…

“Dark Pit?” you ask somewhat incredulously - somewhat amused - as you get in place for the first match. “I thought you didn’t want to come to the beach.”

“Shut up, it’s not that I  _ wanted  _ to be here,” he responds, crossing his arms and grumbling. Pit gives him the ol’ side-eye. 

“Um, says the one who went through the trouble of flying here instead of just getting on the plane with us...”

Dark Pit makes an annoyed sound and turns away, avoiding eye contact with everyone present. Palutena approaches, joining the group with the script in her hands.

“Well, it was fully intended that he would be one of the few Smashers to stay behind, but a fan requested a scene where the Echo Fighters interacted with their ‘original’ counterparts, so he had to be brought in. We likely won’t see him again this chapter after this.”

Dark Pit makes yet another displeased groan. You can’t help but eye the stack of papers in Palutena’s hands. Where did she get that? Is this just one of many powers at a goddess’ disposal? Maybe you should ask to take a peek, and potentially avoid some embarrassing situations…

“Ah-ah-ah.” As if reading your mind, the goddess is quick to chide you for even  _ considering  _ to spoil the story for yourself. “No peeking! You’re just going to have to wait and see what happens yourself.”

“Aww!” Pit whines. “But I really wanted to know who wins the Game Show chapter!”

“Hmm… Well, would it help if I tell you that the contestants haven’t been decided yet, but the winner has?”

“What? That doesn’t make any sense!”

This entire exchange is nonsense to you, so we hit the fast forward button and cut to a commercial break while the tape is zipping to the start of the next scene. We replay the teaser for the new Animal Crossing game eight times, courtesy of Crazy Hand locking himself in the control room long enough to flex his franchise biases for the world to see.

“I just really like living in this cozy little village and making friends with all the residents,” Crazy told us in an interview. In the camera shot is his Animal Crossing shrine, which he made from all the merchandise he’s collected over the years to show off his love for the series. “When I contribute to expanding the village, or a get a villager’s picture… it really makes me feel like I’m part of the community! It’s such a warm feeling!”

When asked about his favourite Animal Crossing memory, Crazy Hand revealed that sometimes his brother, Master Hand, played the games as well. “He doesn’t play often - maybe once every few months or so - but when he does, he always sends me a letter! Sometimes he attaches rare items to them, and I keep them all in my house.” He went on to tell us that his brother regularly used the money he earned from hosting  _ Super Smash Bros. _ to contribute to the village’s development, adding to the long list of philanthropic efforts Master Hand is known for. The interview ends with an advertisement for the upcoming  _ Super Smash Bros. Ultimate _ tournament, available on all streaming services starting December 7th SBST ( _ Smash Bros. _ Standard Time). A video game based on the tournament will be released for home consoles and in the arcades on the same day. Pre-order now!

We finally end this bout of pointless plugging and return to the story, where the volleyball tournament is about to begin. 

Round 1: You & Zelda VS Pit & Dark Pit. Zelda is dealing the first serve. Mario - clad in sunglasses and an Isle Delfino shirt - is sitting in the referee chair, and blows a whistle to signal the start of the game.

You’re thankful that Pit and Dark Pit are an  _ awful  _ team, allowing you to use this round to get a grasp on how to play. Individually they play fine, but are unable to coordinate anything resembling “teamwork”. More specifically, Dark Pit goes out of his way to try and score points without his light counterpart’s help - usually by intercepting Pit when he’s about to hit the ball.

“Agh, we could have had that one!” Pit groans as Zelda scores you two another point with a nasty spike. “Just stay on your side - I can handle anything that comes this way.”

“How am I supposed to rely on you when you’ve already cost us three points?” Dark Pit counters, refusing to admit to any fault of his own. “Just stay out of my way. It’ll be easier for me to win if you’re not messing up all the time.”

“Should I just serve?” Zelda asks you wryly, waiting in position with the ball as the two angels argue. You also notice Palutena giggling to herself in the stands, and you wonder if she had anything to do with Dark Pit being dragged to the beach.

It takes until you and Zelda are dangerously approaching match point before the two of them finally put aside their differences and put their heads together to form a battle strategy. The transition feels very odd and sudden to you, but before you can question it, the two Pits break away and return to their respective sides of the field, shifting to some very determined stances.

“Okay, we’re ready!” Pit shouts. “Give us your best shot!!”

Zelda looks to you and shrugs before serving the ball. The ball passes back and forth over the net a few times before, in a surprise change of tactics, Dark Pit actually sets up the ball for Pit, who leaps up with a war cry of “FOR LADY PALUTENAAAA!” before smashing the ball down. You dive, but are too slow to reach it. Pit throws his arms up and starting whooping and hollering, almost doing a victory lap around the court. Dark Pit looks smug as all  _ heck. _ You’re more amused at their behaviour than upset at losing a point, so you’re smiling as you roll the ball under the net and back to their side. 

Dark Pit kicks the ball up and into his hands. “Hey dork, it’s your serve.”

Pit stops running around and sheepishly grins. “Oh… oh yeah--! Oof!” He almost gets knocked over when Dark Pit whips the ball at him and he barely catches it as it hits his stomach. From here on, the points finally start to even out, and you’re actually getting worried. These guys are  _ scary  _ when they actually decide to work together. Your adrenaline is pumping hard when the score evens out just in time for the final match point. It’s all or nothing!

Partway through the volley, as the ball passes over the net to the other side, Zelda calls your name and you instantly recognize they are trying to mimic their play from earlier. As Dark Pit sets the ball, you dash for the net, leaping in hopes that you’ll reach the airborne ball before Pit does. Will you make it?! Pit is in position and jumps before you, making you doubt yourself for just a split second… but you steel your resolve and reach out for the ball anyways, and it feels like everything is moving in slow motion.

You don’t know if you made it first or if you simply had a stronger hit, but you somehow manage to smack the ball down and score that winning point! You can barely hear the cheers through the adrenaline still pumping in your ears, and it takes you a moment before you realize you’ve actually won.

“We did it!” Zelda rushes over to you and grabs your hands, unable to stop herself from jumping in joy. You suddenly feel lightheaded from all the excitement, so all you can do is smile in response. Out of the corner of your eye, you notice a frustrated Dark Pit groaning and kicking up the sand before storming off. Pit looks distraught at the loss for a moment, hanging his head, but he recovers quickly and ducks under the net to congratulate you.

“Wow! That was awesome!” Pit’s wide grin is infectious, and it gives you a warm feeling to see him being a good sport about the loss. “Good game! We should have a rematch sometime.”

You let out a short laugh that gets interpreted as a noise of agreement. A rematch is the furthest thing from your mind right now - all you can think about is sitting down and having a rest. You’re grateful when Zelda walks you to the bleachers as the other two teams get set up. Pit tags along, almost taking a seat beside you before Zelda speaks up.

“Hey Pit, could you grab us some drinks? After a game like that, I think we both could use one.”

“Sure thing!” Retaining all his enthusiasm, Pit turns and starts to run to the snack bar that’s located further down on the beach. As he goes, Palutena calls out while descending from her place higher up on the bleachers.

“Get me a drink too, Pit!”

“Of course!!!”

Palutena smiles and sits in the empty spot next to you. It does not escape you that you are sitting next to an  _ actual goddess, _ and find yourself feeling a bit overwhelmed. If the goddess herself notices, she doesn’t say anything about it, instead merely directing her smile at you.

“I’ve got to say, that was pretty impressive,” she says to you, and the compliment makes you feel warm. “And yet… you’re hiding some tricks up your sleeve, aren’t you? Are you  _ sure  _ you’re just a host and not a fighter in the tournament?”

“What? O-Oh, goodness no, definitely not.” You know she’s joking from her tone, but you’re inclined to answer seriously anyways. “I’m… not really a fighter. And I don’t think I could compare to anyone in the tournament, really…”

“Hmm, if you say so.” Palutena continues to give you an unreadable smile, and suddenly you feel a bit anxious. Thankfully, you don’t have to be the center of attention for long, because Pit comes running back with four drinks. He nearly trips, but successfully makes it without having a spill.

“Drinks have arrived, courtesy of the Pit Express!” He struggles to hand them out with his hands full, and has to rely on the three of you grabbing them yourselves. When you get your drink, you take a moment to admire the colours - it’s a vibrant blue liquid with a trail of white spiraling through it, with pink and yellow flecks dotted throughout. The pattern reminds you a bit of the Milky Way, and the crushed ice is arranged to remind you of a comet. 

“Couldn’t you have used a tray?” Zelda asks when she receives her drink. Pit opens his mouth to answer, then closes it, mulling it over.

“...I didn’t think about that. That WOULD have been easier, huh…?”

Palutena chuckles and pats the seat beside her. “What’s done is done. Sit down, the next match is about to start.”

Pit obeys and you all shift your attention to the volleyball court. Peach and Daisy are on one side, while Marth and Lucina are on the other. Daisy is doing the first serve. You take a sip of your drink as the match begins and find that its thick like a milkshake, but it pops and melts in your mouth. Defying the laws of colour and flavour, it tastes sweet and more vanilla-y than anything else.

“Whoa,” you say after just one drink. The sensation of the drink fizzing away into nothing while it’s in your mouth is certainly an odd one. You also feel some of your exhaustion ebbing away. “That’s so cool.”

“Isn’t it?” Zelda agrees, sipping her own drink with a smile. Hers is violet instead of blue. “I love getting to try exotic foods like this. You’d never find anything like this in Hyrule.”

“ _ And _ there’s a candy inside these drinks!” Pit exclaims, trying to use his straw to fish a large green star out of his similarly coloured drink to show you. So that explains the colouring.

Palutena swirls her orange drink around before taking a drink. “It’s cute to see the food and drinks the people of different worlds can make.” She pauses and looks at you. “How’s your realm? Does it have any interesting native foods?”

“Not really,” you admit. You are pretty certain your world has nothing that could be considered native agriculture. If something was growing there, it’s because you or your ancestors put it there, pulling from the environments of other worlds. You have tried “growing” fruits and vegetables before, but they were as tasteless as the food you could conjure on a whim, so you replaced most of it with buildings and other facilities. 

Long ago - among some of the earliest memories you have - you found so many different foods growing around the property from the realm’s previous owner, but were never able to accurately replicate the taste and texture to grow them yourself. You’d instead use them to trace back to what realm they originated from and reveal a bit about the ancestor you never knew.

“Aww, that’s kind of sad,” Pit remarks, frowning as he pops the star candy in his mouth. 

“I’ve noticed there doesn’t seem to be any common vegetation,” Zelda says. “The flowers, the trees… most of them are of different breeds. I suppose that means they all originated from different worlds?”

You nod. “Yeah, nothing really grows on its own there. I’ve found seeds stored in the mansion, but they don’t grow unless I know what they’re going to grow into. And in that case, it’ll usually grow to maturity overnight.” You shrug as if you don’t understand the phenomenon yourself, but the truth is you’re just not ready to talk about  _ that  _ just yet. “A lot of the plants you’ll see were already there before I moved in, so I don’t know what all of them are or where they came from.” And because of that, they’re all  _ stuck  _ at that particular stage of their lifecycle, unable to die or bear fruit.

While your conversation has gone on, the volleyball game has become pretty heated. Peach and Daisy have an incredible sense of teamwork, as if they’ve played together thousands of times before, and this keeps them in the lead. Marth and Lucina are clearly much less experienced at this game, but they have a good natural synergy and get creative with their plays. Somewhere in the stands behind you, you hear Robin cheering for her daughter loudly.

“‘When you moved in’?” Zelda asks. “Did you not always own that realm then? Where did you live before?”

“Whoa, you own that  _ entire  _ realm?!” Pit suddenly asks incredulously, eyes wide and jaw dropped as he leans over to stare at you. His tongue is green from the star candy he ate.

“I don’t know why you’re impressed,” Palutena says, giving him a flick on the forehead. He voices a little “ow” and reels back in his seat. “You work for a goddess, remember?”

“O-Oh yeah, heh heh…”

You hoped the banter would draw attention away from the question you were asked, but Zelda’s curious gaze stayed trained on you. You notice that you are hesitating for too long and struggle to answer sufficiently.

“U-Uhh… well, it was owned by my… ancestors, kinda, so it’s like… passed down from generation to generation? Y-You know?”

You avoided answering one of the questions, and Zelda clearly notices that. She continues to look at you, thinking about something but saying nothing. Thankfully, a new distraction appears so you aren’t forced to elaborate, starting with a familiar shout of your name. You look and see Captain Falcon sprinting towards the volleyball court.

“Watch this!! FALCON…  **_SPIKE!!!_ ** ” With no prior warning, he leaps at the court and smashes the ball away from Marth’s reach, rocketing it past Peach and Daisy and sending it far down the beach. He lands on the sand and does a fistpump before waving in your direction. The entire court is struck speechless. Mario just  _ sighs  _ and hops down from his referee chair, rolling up his sleeves as he approaches the F-Zero racer from behind. With a jump, he kicks him in the back and sends him rolling forward, before effectively wrestling him away from the playing field. The game has to take a short break while Daisy runs to retrieve the ball.

“Why is he like this,” you find yourself asking aloud, tone flat as you suffer through yet another instance of pure mortification. It’s an entirely rhetorical question that you expected nobody to have an answer to, but Zelda gives you one after taking a big gulp of her drink.

“He’s always trying to impress people,” she says wryly, watching as Mario successfully tosses Captain Falcon into the ocean with a spinning throw. “He’s like this every season, from start to finish. You learn to ignore it eventually.”

“So he’s... I’m not being singled out or anything?” you ask, somewhat relieved to know this is a general thing, but also somewhat… disappointed? Now, where is that feeling coming from?! You refuse to acknowledge it is even there.

“Oh, he shows off to  _ everybody, _ don’t worry.” Robin comes down from the stands, handing the approaching Lucina a drink. “He did it to me a lot last season. When I told him I was married, he said something like…  _ ‘that’s cool!’ _ and started doing more flips.” She shrugs. “I don’t think he necessarily has a motive behind his actions. ...Maybe.”

“Maybe he likes you!” Peach says with a smile as she takes a seat on Zelda’s other side. You sputter on your drink.

“D-Don’t joke about that,” you mumble as you stare into your half-finished drink, feeling your face heat up. What a foolish notion! There’s  _ no way. _ This is clearly just a natural Captain Falcon thing, as noted by everyone else. If it seems like you are getting special attention, it’s just a coincidence. It’s not like you know how he acts when you’re not around. He probably has a bunch of different people he focuses on - you’re only one of them because you only met recently, and you don’t know how  _ awesome  _ he is yet. The fixation will probably die when more newcomers arrive.

You’re definitely not sad at the thought of that.

Absolutely not.

Daisy and Mario eventually both return from their respective tasks, and the game can resume. You’re grateful when everyone seems to have forgotten all previous conversations and instead focuses on the game. Marth and Lucina put up a good fight and noticeably improve as the game goes on, but they are ultimately defeated, meaning Peach and Daisy are your opponents in the final round. 

“We won’t go easy on you!” Daisy yells as Peach prepares the first serve. Zelda grins back, and you see the competitive fire in her expression.

“Right back at you! You better bring your best!”

Peach pauses in her preparations, wearing a thoughtful expression. “Hmm… well, okay, if you say so~!” She gives the ball a gentle toss into the air, then leaps up and gives it a  _ much  _ more powerful hit than you were expecting. You dive for the ball, just barely managing to bump it back into the air so Zelda can hit it back. You don’t have enough experience to keep up with the other three players, so you and Zelda end up trailing behind in points as the match goes on. In an attempt to gain the edge, Zelda whips out a devious blast of magic to hit the ball in her stead when Daisy goes to spike it, which  _ does  _ manage to score you a point when it catches the Sarasaland princess off-guard.

“Oh, so  _ that’s  _ how we’re playing, huh?” Not even mad, Daisy just grins as she rolls the ball back under the net. “Why didn’t you say so sooner?”

The rest of the match gets more chaotic than you can follow, with bursts of pink and orange joining Zelda’s magic in manipulating the ball. By the end of the game, the ball is covered in rips and scorch marks. You’re honestly surprised it’s still in one piece.

“Woohoo, we won!” Daisy cheers, giving Peach a high five. She grins at the two of you and makes a V with her fingers. “Great game! You almost got us at the end there!”

“We’ll win next time for sure,” Zelda counters, ducking under the net to join the two. Daisy puts her hands on her hips.

“Nuh-uh! We’re changing the teams for the next game!” Daisy gives you a wink, and you suddenly feel like you should say something before you get launched into another tournament. You are once again positively  _ exhausted. _

“Uh, maybe I’ll sit the next one out. I’m... kind of tired…” You awkwardly try to back away from the court, yelping when Daisy suddenly rushes towards you and links your arms together, spinning you around to start guiding you down the beach.

“Oh yeah, me too! Let’s go find something else to do!” You’re a bit confused at her switch in behaviour, but let her drag you along anyways. The Smashers gathered around the volleyball court begin to disperse, with some travelling in the same direction as you.

“So, who won?” Samus - clad in a sporty-looking orange two piece - tilts her head and lifts her sunglasses as you all approach the row of gathered sunbathers. Sprawled out at varying intervals are her, Jigglypuff, Link, Fox, Diddy, Megaman, the Duck Hunt Duo, and Ganondorf. Some of them are relaxing on chairs or towels in direct sunlight, while others are resting under an umbrella. Samus is one of the ones under an umbrella. Peach takes a seat in an empty chair beside her, while Daisy remains standing.

“Peachy and I won, but it was  _ super  _ close,” Daisy explains, and you feel that she’s overselling the results. The final point had been attained while there was already two point gap between the teams, so it wasn’t really  _ that  _ close. “You should of joined us!”

Samus makes a noncommittal noise as a response and relaxes back into the chair. You take the moment to look out at the beach and see what everyone is doing. You spot Lucas, orange Inkling, Nana, Popo, Ivysaur, Charizard, and Bowser Jr. building sandcastles of varying detail. Junior’s is one of the more elaborate ones, with a moat and all. Inkling and the Ice Climbers are sharing a pile of seashells to stick on their own. Just a few feet away from an abandoned mound of castle, you notice Pichu, Toon Link, and Villager burying R.O.B. in the sand, who seems relatively unbothered by it. There seem to be a lot of people out on the water either swimming or surfing - from this distance, the only one you can confidently identify is Red on his Lapras. At the snack bar, you see Yoshi, Pit, and Robin. You’re not sure where anyone else is.

“Ever been parasailing?” Samus asks as she suddenly sits up from her chair, and it take a moment before you realize she’s talking to you.

“Um, no…” you reply, trying to remember which sport that was. Was that the one where you’re on the skis-- no, you fool, that’s  _ water skiing. _ Right, parasailing is the one in the air. Of course. Your knowledge of sporting activities is clearly lacking.

“Wanna try?” She’s already standing up, so you have a feeling the decision has already been made for you. As if to emphasize that, Daisy is already leading you in the direction of the docks.

“Ooh, I wanna join too! Don’t worry, I’ll hold your hand if you get scared.” She gives you a wink and you feel your face heat up. Behind you, Samus chuckles as she follows at her own pace. Nobody else moves to join (though you catch Peach and Zelda waving when you look back), so it’s just the three of you getting on the boat at the edge of the dock.

As Samus starts steering the boat out onto the ocean, you can finally identify everyone out on the water. You were correct in knowing that Red was with his Lapras, but now you can see blue Inkling and Shulk are there as well. Red and Shulk are chatting casually about something, while Inkling peers over the edge of Lapras to stare into the water dubiously. You’re pretty sure Inklings can’t swim, so you can’t help but wonder why he’s out here in the first place. Squirtle is relaxing on its back as it floats through the water. Kirby is swimming around nearby, content to paddle away with his inner tube. 

“Hey guys!” Daisy waves, receiving several waves in response. Red and Inkling are both wearing t-shirts and shorts, while Shulk is wearing swim trunks. 

“Hey,” Shulk responds, eying the equipment at the back of the boat. “What’s all that for?”

“Parasailing!” Daisy exclaims with a grin, though doesn’t elaborate further. Shulk doesn’t seem to be familiar with the sport, but doesn’t question her - partially because the conversation is interrupted by a very excited voice.

“YEAH! SWIMMING!!!” Pit is clumsily jogging out into the ocean, making his way towards your group. He is still wearing his angel garb… which is probably contributing to his struggles. “Hey guys, what’s--- grlghkghhl--”

Pit reaches a particularly deep point and practically plunges underwater. He starts flailing as he tries to resurface - which would be comical if this wasn’t a  _ serious matter _ (okay, it’s a little comical). Shulk takes the initiative and slides off Lapras, and with some effort (nearly being dragged underwater by the struggling angel  _ twice _ ), helps Pit get out of the water and into the boat.

“Phew! That almost got dicy,” Pit sighs in relief, though is wearing a grin. Daisy is smiling as well, but hers is more wry.

“It wouldn’t have been a problem if you changed into a swimsuit, y’know.”

“What?! I can’t do that! Angels must always wear their appointed clothing - no matter what!!!”

You can’t help but wonder if that’s a real rule or just something Pit thinks he should adhere to. Maybe you could ask Palutena or Dark Pit later. Daisy and Pit start chattering about the topic (“Is that for real?” “Of course it is - why would I lie about that??”), but you end up tuning it out when you see something approaching from above.

“Look out!” you yell, gripping the side of the boat as the soaring spiky mass cannonballs right into the water, dead center of the little group that has gathered here. Waves are kicked up and rock the boat, knocking Pit down from his stance. Daisy manages to stay on her feet, while Samus grimaces at the wheel, otherwise unresponsive to the rocking of the boat. In the water, Shulk grips the side of the boat to keep himself from being swept away, while Squirtle isn’t so lucky, hollering as he is pushed out to sea. After making sure Inkling (who’s curled up like a frightened cat, holding onto Lapras’ shell for dear life) is okay, Red directs Lapras to go find Squirtle.

Kirby remains content in his floatie ring, completely unfazed by the extra waves.

From the impact point, Bowser emerges from the water and starts laughing. “Bwhahaha! Ten points for Bowser! Beat THAT, chumps!”

“Ten out of what, one hundred?” Daisy grumbles, mood soured by the Koopa King’s arrival. Pit struggles to pull himself off the deck, crouching as he hangs his head over the edge.

“I think I’m gonna be sick…”

“Weakling! Don’t come to the fire if you can’t handle the heat!”

“We’re in the water, so that doesn’t make any sense!” Suddenly, Pit yelps and has to reposition himself, gripping the boat for dear life when it tilts on account of Bowser trying to climb in. “What are you doing??”

“What does it look like? I want to go parasailing! Move over, wimpy!”

“Oh no you don’t!” Daisy yells, stomping over to the edge and holding a hand out, which somehow prevents Bowser from climbing in further. “Nobody invited you! No big dumb Koopas allowed!”

Bowser’s jaw drops, absolutely  _ appalled  _ by what he’s hearing. While he’s distracted, Daisy yells for Pit to help her, and the two of them shove Bowser off the boat. He lands back in the water unceremoniously. Pit and Daisy start cheering and dancing around the boat, and even Samus cracks a smile. While it’s a silly scene, you can’t help but frown. You feel bad for the Koopa King. Maybe he has a bit of an ego, but you’re not sure the antagonistic behaviour towards him is necessary. 

“Um… am I interrupting something?” comes a new voice, and you look to see that Lucina has made her way over, wearing a blue one-piece. Daisy grins and pats the boat, signalling for her to come aboard.

“Not at all! We’re about to go parasailing - you should join us, Lucy! You can too, Shulk, if you want.” 

“Parasailing?” Lucina asks as she lifts herself into the boat. “I… don’t believe I’ve heard of it. What is it?”

“It’s like a mix of parachuting and sailing,” Daisy finally explains. “You strap in and you go into the air when the boat goes  _ really  _ fast. It’s super fun!”

“So it’s like you’re flying?” Pit asks, and Daisy nods. “That sounds cool! I wanna try!”

“It sounds… interesting,” Lucina replies, though she does look notably dubious. Shulk climbs into the boat as well.

“I suppose I’ll give it a try too,” he says. Daisy grins, then approaches all the equipment at the back of the boat. 

“Awesome! There are two seats, so two people can go at a time.” She suddenly turns to focus on you, a glint in her eye as she grabs your arms and tries to drag you out of your non-parasailing seat. “You and I can go first and show everyone how it’s done!”

You find yourself led to one of the seats - which is less of a seat and more of a collapsed playground swing - before you can say anything. Aw geez, you’re not sure you want to go first. You’re sure that nothing bad will happen, but nervousness pools in your gut regardless. 

“Hey Daisy,” Samus calls out casually just as the redhead princess has thrown out the parachute and is now starting to buckle herself in. The bounty hunter is wearing a smug expression. “Don’t you think you should be on standby for the first one? Someone needs to make sure everything goes smoothly.”

Daisy pouts. “Whaaat? Can’t you do that??”

“Nope, I’m busy driving the boat.” Samus pats the wheel for emphasis. There is a moment of hesitation, but then Daisy groans as she unbuckles herself and steps away.

“Fiiiine. Lucy! You can go first!” Cheer returning, Daisy directs the blue-haired swordswoman to the second spot. 

“M-Me? Oh, um, a-are you sure?”

“Do iiiit.” Daisy nudges her playfully, and Lucina is forced to accept her fate, taking the place beside you. You have a feeling your look of apprehension matches hers. Once Lucina is buckled up, Daisy turns to address the boys. “Okay, listen up! I’m gonna teach you guys how to do this! And I’m not gonna do it twice!”

Daisy explains herself as she goes through the motions of checking the harnesses and the straps. It doesn’t seem very complicated thankfully. Once everything is ready, the last step is for you two to let yourselves hop backwards off the boat.

“You’ll be fine!” Daisy reassures. You and Lucina share a nervous look. Daisy counts you down, and on zero you both blindly jump backwards, half-anticipating to plunge into the water below.

But instead, slowly, you are rising into the air.

“O-Oh my,” Lucina breathes, staring down at the water below as it gets further and further away. You tear your eyes away from beneath your dangling feet long enough to look out across the ocean. Oh, you can see a lot more from this altitude! Where the waves are their biggest, you can see Pikachu and DK having a surfing competition. DK does a sick handstand, but Pikachu zips in front and startles him, causing the ape to lose his balance and fall into the water. Further out, you spot a cute little island, where Falco is relaxing on a lawn chair. You also see some kind of flag in the sand? Hmm, you wonder who left that there. Even further out… is that Wii Fit Trainer? Is she already on the way back from her swim across the ocean?? What the heck! And she’s still swimming so fast!

“Th-This is kind of fun!” Lucina says, her lips spreading into a smile. She relaxes a bit, then looks back towards the beach. “You can see so much from up here!” You both wave at the specks on the beach, and you think you might see a few of them wave back. Oh, there’s Robin! She’s opened one of her tomes and is holding it above her head. The words “Hi Lucina!” have manifested from the fire. Beside you, Lucina buries her face in her hands to hide her blush.

“Ugh, th-that’s so embarrassing…”

“It’s really cute,” you reply, and she just groans and shakes her head, refusing to remove her hands. “Your family cares about you a lot.”

“Oh, it would be  _ so  _ much worse if my father was here,” she mumbles, taking a deep breath before she finally looks up. “I love them, I really do, but sometimes… it’s just too much. I could not imagine spending an entire Smash season with the both of them… ...what’s so funny?”

“Eh?” Uh oh, you are smiling maniacally like someone who  _ knows  _ something. And boy, do you  _ know. _ You hope that the Chrom from  _ this  _ Lucina’s world is the one who shows up to the tournament. You need the complete Lucina family experience. “U-Uh, nothing. I just, um, think it’s cool how your family is.”

“...Well… as embarrassing as it is, it is kind of… nice. I never got to spend enough time with them in my timeline, so to be able to see them again… it has been wonderful.” Her face is tinged pink once more, and suddenly her head snaps up to look at you. “D-Don’t tell my mother I said that!”

“My lips are sealed.”

Lucina sighs in relief. There’s a silence between you two, and you each take the moment to gaze out at the view. The winds whip around you as the boat below continues to speed across the sea. 

“How about your parents? What are they like?”

It’s an innocent question - Lucina’s gaze on you is entirely curious with no ill intent to be found - but you still can’t help but hesitate. Like all questions revolving around your personal history, it’s a subject you’d rather not talk about.

“Oh, uh… My situation is kinda the same as yours. I didn’t really get to know them.” It’s not really a lie.

“Oh… I’m sorry.” She assumes the worst, of course, and you decide to just let it go there. Maybe you’ll be comfortable enough to talk about the whole shebang that is “your backstory” someday, but… not today.

Today you are having  _ fun. _

“Hey, did you see Falco over there?”

Lightening the mood, you both point out specific Smashers and giggle about what they’re doing before finally being brought back down to the boat. Lucina unbuckles herself from the harness, and you’re about to follow her out before you are physically urged back into place by the lady taking the place beside you.

“My turn!” Daisy announces, already buckling herself in.

“Uh… shouldn’t I get up so someone else can have a turn?”

“They can wait a bit longer! Okay guys, send us up!!”

You somehow end up in the air for the second time in a row, this time with Daisy hooting and hollering next to you. She’s yelling at other Smashers and pointing out the silly things they’re doing the whole time, and you can’t stop laughing. You spot a gaggle of some of the younger Smashers dumping sand on the sunbathers. They are soon dispersing across the beach when Ganondorf leaps up to retaliate.

You rotate enough so everyone gets a turn parasailing, but you somehow end up in the seat more often than everyone else. You end up there alongside Shulk, Pit, Kirby, blue Inkling (once Red returns), and Daisy again. Daisy asks Samus if she wants a turn, but she declines to let everyone else have their fun.

The time zips by. When you’re all finally heading back to shore, the sun is setting, lighting up the ocean with a beautiful orange. Perhaps this is actually  _ is  _ the Orange Ocean you heard about! The new colour is just as vibrant as the morning’s blue, to the point where you have to wonder if something about the water’s colour is independent from the sky above. After getting off the boat, your group disperses somewhat to find other ways to spend the rest of the day. You end up walking alongside Shulk, Lucina, Kirby, and Daisy on the beach shore. As your little quintet walks and talks, male Wii Fit Trainer jogs past you.

“Good job, gang! Only forty-nine laps to go! Let’s pick up the pace a bit!!” He starts jogging faster. When you turn, you see Olimar and Pacman have collapsed on the beach. Luigi is still upright, but he’s stopped moving and is trying to catch his breath. WFT has not noticed no one is following him anymore and continues on his way. 

“Who’s that over there?” Shulk draws your attention to someone in red armour lying on the beach. “Is that somebody new? From here, it kind of reminds me of--”

“Megaman!” you yelp, skedaddling on over to the robot lying in the sun. His armour has heated up so much that it has turned red! When you’re close enough, you notice that he’s lying faceup motionless, mouth stuck in a tense line while his eyes look unfocused. Kirby instructs you to bring him over to Chef Kawasaki’s stand - he knows what to do! - so you and the others throw a bunch of abandoned towels on him to prevent yourselves from getting burnt, then drag him over to the food stand. Without needing a word said to him, Chef Kawasaki opens his freezer, and Kirby does the honour of throwing Megaman in and shutting the door. You’re not sure if that was the best solution, but… you suppose it works? Everyone breathes a sigh of relief and sits down.

It finally occurs to you that you haven’t actually visited the stand all day, and the only local delicacy you’ve tried is that drink from earlier. You should try something else! Kirby is quick to order something, while Shulk, Lucina, and Daisy take their time to browse the menu due to being unfamiliar with the selection. They end up getting caught up in a conversation with female WFT, who’s taking a break here after her swim. You notice that Yoshi is  _ still  _ here (unless he left and came back while you weren’t looking), but now Leaf is here as well. They are both happily chowing down on their individual meals with such vigor that you’d almost think they were having an eating contest. 

“Woooo! That was GOOD! Hit me again, chef!” Leaf chimes as soon as she’s done, and Kawasaki is quick to place another still-sizzling dish in front of her. The slab of meat is circular and has a spiral pattern on the face, reminding you a bit of a tree stump. You don’t recognize the meat by looking at it, but looking at the menu, you assume it must be the Whispy Steak. Decorating the plate is a row of star-shaped apple slices and a green leafy bushel that reminds you of parsley. 

As Leaf begins chowing down again, you decide to take a look at the menu yourself. You recognize the Superspicy Curry, and you assume the “Maxim Surprise” has something to do with Maxim Tomatoes, but beyond that, you’re not quite sure what a lot of these items  _ are. _

“Personally, I’d recommend the Grilled Scarfy.”

You nearly jump off of your stool - how long has Snake been sitting next to you?! You don’t remember seeing him on the plane, so you had assumed he stayed at the mansion today. Not that you ever really saw him there, either. His presence is startling enough that you find yourself staring silently at him, unsure how to respond, while he just looks straight ahead and casually takes a drag from his cigarette. 

“Uh.” You need a bit of time to process that: oh! He said something to you! “Um, Grilled Scarfy…? W-Wait, it’s not MADE of Scarfys, is it?!” Those cute floaty orange guys?? You don’t want to eat them!!

“Gracious no!” Chef Kawasaki says, overhearing your conversation. He whirls around to face you with a mortified expression just as he was about to serve Kirby, leaving the puffball very distraught to see his meal whisked out of his reach. “It was a recipe made  _ by  _ Scarfy! I would NEVER use a fellow Popstar friend as a cooking ingredient.”

Well, that’s a relief! Following that reasoning, it explains the naming of some of the other menu items. Though, it doesn’t exactly tell you  _ what  _ a Grilled Scarfy is.

Snake chuckles at your reaction, taking one last drag from his cigarette before putting it out. “I thought the same thing when I ordered it. Imagine my surprise when it was this… veggie thing.” He tries to gesture with his hands to paint a better picture, positioning them like he’s holding a sandwich. “...Wasn’t half bad, though.”

You look back at the menu and wonder if you should try it. Snake’s description wasn’t the greatest, but you  _ are  _ curious now.

“Um, I guess I’ll have… ...the Dee Takoyaki, then. ... _ And _ the Grilled Scarfy.” Because why not? You don’t know when you’ll get to come back to Kirby’s world, so you may as well try lots of things! Chef Kawasaki nods before returning to the grill, humming a happy tune as he cooks. 

Daisy has started asking Shulk and Lucina about the technical side of the tournaments - rules and expectations and such - and Leaf joins the conversation with her own questions. Joining the table, Pacman successfully drags himself onto a stool and orders a bowl of fruit. Just seeing it seems to revitalize him, and he eagerly digs in. For the first time in awhile, you suddenly feel like an outsider again - just a spectator watching the Smashers go about their daily lives.

...That’s when you realize: you could use this time to talk to Snake!!

You peek at him from the corner of your eye, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. He doesn’t seem to notice you, and casually takes a sip from his ordinary-looking glass of lemonade. 

“...Do I have something on my face?”

Yikes! He noticed you after all. Hesitating a moment so you can figure out what to do next, you decide to just tell him what’s been on your mind.

“I… don’t really see you around, I guess.” No matter how anti-social some of them are, you’ve seen every Smasher that has arrived at the mansion on at least two different occasions. You have only seen Snake on  _ that day _ , however. “Is there somewhere you go, or...?”

“I’ve been there, you just don’t see me.” He pauses. “I’ve been doing reconnaissance.”

“Oh.” You probably should have guessed that. “For the tournament?”

He takes a moment to respond, taking a drink first. “Partially, yes. But my reconnaissance has been primarily focused on you.”

“M-Me?!” This is very unexpected! And he just out and  _ said it  _ instead of keeping it a secret! Why would he be watching you? And why haven’t you noticed?? “Wh-Why me?”

“It’s not hard to learn about the other competitors in the tournament. Information is everywhere. Some are harder to figure out than others, but if you dig deep enough, you’ll find something eventually. But you…” He turns just enough to look at your directly. “You’re the tournament’s proprietary host, and I can’t figure out a damn thing about you. Master Hand’s files are… lacking.” Snake exhales a breath and turns forward again, picking up his glass to take another drink. “Then again,  _ Brawl  _ was the same way… but I could at least find  _ something  _ about Tabuu, since he owns a pretty big company in the multiverse.”

What the heck, why does Snake want to learn about you? Does he think you could be dangerous or something?? And, hold on, did he say that Master Hand has a file on you? You guess that isn’t  _ too  _ unexpected - you always  _ should  _ check someone’s background before doing business with them - but you can’t help but wonder what’s in it. Apparently not much,  _ but still. _

What does he know about you already?

Regardless, this is a very startling realization! “I-I mean, if you want to know something, all you have to do is ask…!” If people are trying to dig up information about you, maybe seeming open about it will make them lose interest…? You can only hope.

Snake considers your offer seriously for a moment. “Alright.” He swivels on the stool, turning his full body towards you as he leans against the table. 

“In that case: who - or  _ what  _ \- are you?”

...What?

What kind of question is that???

“Wh-What…?” There’s a black hole of anxiety inside you, but you try to squash it down and put on a smile. You never did introduce yourself to him! Maybe he’s just looking for that. “Um, w-well, my name is--”

“Not that.” Reading you expertly, he cuts you off. “I know your name. And I know that - unless you’re hiding something - you’re the only inhabitant of your realm. But there aren’t any pictures of you anywhere on the property. Not to mention, the mansion layout from the inside doesn’t match up with the perimeter outside. What are you hiding?”

No wonder you never see him around - when he hasn’t been spying on you, he’s been searching your place up and down. You realize, with a growing horror, that he may have joined the fight a few days ago with the explicit purpose of using explosives to unveil some of your hidden rooms. Is he looking for something specific? Does he have reason to go to such extremes to find information on you? Or is it just an idle curiosity that he can’t quell?

“An order of Dee Takoyaki and one Grilled Scarfy - here you are!” 

You jump from the sound of Kawasaki’s cheery voice, cutting into the uneasy atmosphere. Two dishes are placed in front of you: one is what you assume is the Grilled Scarfy, which is a large breaded mound in the shape of a Scarfy served on a plate of salad. The Dee Takoyaki is served in a little cardboard container - bite-sized spheres of bread decorated with Waddle Dee faces somehow imprinted on them. Both dishes are radiating a warm heat and delicious smell. It’s almost enough to make you forget the conversation you were wrapped up in.

“Ooooh, those are so cute!” Daisy squeals from beside you. When you look down the table, you see that she has the Krako Omelette, which has been amazingly cooked to the point of explosion - but only along the the perimeter. A yolk substance decorates the plate, while the omelette itself remains intact and puffy. Lucina ordered the Poppy Burger Jr., which looks like an ordinary burger but with a flower-like thing speared into the burg with a toothpick, making it look like it’s wearing a hat. You assume Shulk ordered the Maxim Surprise, judging by the abundance of tomatoes on his plate. They are sliced and stacked with a variety of spreads on every layer. Some of the tomatoes are sun dried.

Oh golly, all this food looks so good!

“Mind if I steal one off you?” Daisy asks, already inching her fork towards your collection of delicious Waddle Dees. Deciding that sharing is caring, you push the whole container across the bar, allowing anyone to give ‘em a try. Daisy, Shulk, Lucina, and Leaf all snag one. Daisy and Leaf eat it right away, their faces lighting up in unison. You go to grab your own, but just as you’re about to eat it, Kirby starts YELLING.

“What?! A-A Waddle Doo?” You look at the little batter ball you were about to eat and realize, oh, this one  _ does  _ look more like a Waddle Doo! It looks like there was a small error in the cooking process, smooshing the two eyes together to make one big one.

Chef Kawasaki stops cooking to look up when he hears what’s going on. “Well I’ll be darned - you got a Doo in your batch! That means you’ve win a prize!” He leans over and grabs something from under the table, which you soon discover is a box of keychains. “Pick any one you like!”

You recognize that most of the keychains are food or inhabitants native to the Kirby world. Geez, who knew this world was big on silly tourism stuff like this? Nevertheless, after rummaging through the pile for awhile, you pick out a Mr. UFO keychain. Even though you “won” it via pure luck, it gives you a warm feeling inside when you have it in your hands.

“I want a prize too!” Leaf suddenly shouts, and orders some Takoyaki for herself. Kirby is the only other one who follows her lead, while everyone else just laughs and embraces the good mood. Amidst the excitement, you find yourself looking to your left, noticing the empty seat.

Oh. Snake is gone.

The earlier conversation replays in your mind, and you can’t help but worry. You know without a doubt that this won’t be the last someone tries to dig up information about you. Sighing, you force yourself to put aside your unease and return your attention to the rest of the Smashers and the delicious food in front of you.

* * *

 

As the sky and sea turn an even more vibrant orange with the setting sun, your group disperses once again. You’re left with just Daisy this time, who’s trying to figure out what the two of you should do next. You find yourself losing track of what she’s saying when you spot a certain something, however.

Amidst the abandoned sandcastles are the Ice Climbers, Pichu, Bowser Jr., Villager, and orange Inkling sitting in front of a particularly large and impressive sandcastle, listening with rapt interest to the builder of it.

“And so there I was, scaling the steps of Castlevania on my way to vanquish Dracula himself...” Richter Belmont gestures to the detailed sandcastle as he describes his quest in the real castle it was based off of. And these kids - these kids are absolutely _ enthralled. _ You’re kind of enthralled too, unable to focus on anything else as Richter explains how he defeated each of Dracula’s minions.

You’re so enthralled, that you almost miss a certain somebody calling your name for the umpteenth time today.

“CHECK ME OUT!!!” With horror, you can do nothing but watch as Captain Falcon does an incredible number of cool flips across the beach, eventually landing right on Richter’s recreation of Castlevania, destroying it completely and utterly. Oblivious, Falcon gives you a wink and a two fingered salute… then is jumped by everybody around him. The 7v1 fight kicks up a comical amount of sand, reminding you of a cartoon.

“That guy,” Daisy sighs, shaking her head. “Anyways! Like I was saying, we should totally go swimming next!”

Finally, she has your attention again. “Uh… isn’t it bad to go swimming after eating?” Technically, you might be okay since you stopped eating after your initial order, but Daisy had seconds…

“Don’t worry, we’ll be fine!” Daisy tries to wave away your concerns and lead you to the water. Suddenly a surge of panic bubbles within you.

“Uh, wait, hold on, I didn’t actually bring a--”

Interrupting you, Marth calls your name from a short distance away before approaching with a smile. “Hey you two, I hope I’m not interrupting anything?”

“Depends on what you’re interrupting with,” Daisy counters with a wry look. Marth looks a bit uncomfortable under her gaze, but clears his throat and speaks anyways.

“W-Well, I was just wondering if you--” He’s looking directly at you when he says that, but at the last minute his gaze tries to include Daisy in the offer. “--want to join me-- I mean  _ us, _ for a game of water polo?” He gestures out to the water, where a bunch of Smashers have gathered for a game already. 

Daisy lets out a hum. “Y’knoooow, I was ready to say no  _ no matter what  _ you suggested, buuuut that actually sounds fun! We’d be swimming AND playing a game! Let’s do it!”

“Um, actually, I can’t--”

Once again, you are  _ rudely  _ interrupted by someone entering the scene - this time, it’s a certain Koopa King.

“HEY CHUMPS! I found the perfect cliff for diving off of!” You recognize that Bowser is trying to invite you without actually saying it, confirming your assumptions when he turns on Daisy and Marth and goes “And  _ you two _ aren’t invited! No losers allowed!!”

He starts laughing triumphantly, which Daisy responds to with a shrug. “Gee, that’s okay. Because the  _ three  _ of us already made plans to play water polo.”

His laughter immediately stops after registering her words. “Bwuh?! N-No way!!”

“Um, you guys?!” You make sure to speak louder this time just before the trio gets carried away. Three pairs of eyes land on you, and you suddenly feel a bit nervous. “Uh, well, actually, I can’t do any of that stuff because I… didn’t bring… a swimsuit?”

All three of them just stare at you blankly, as if trying to process what the heck you just said. Marth is the first to break the silence, letting out an awkward laugh.

“You… came to the beach without swimwear?”

“That’s uh… pretty stupid,” Bowser adds, albeit quietly. You honestly agree, even though you have your reasons. You expect Daisy to add something, but when you look at her, she looks to be deep in thought about something. When she finally speaks, it starts off slow and tentative:

“Whoever can find the best swimsuit… gets to HANG OUT WITH THEM FOR THE REST OF THE DAY!!! THREETWOONEGO--!”

Daisy does a 180 and starts dashing across the sand, leaving you and the other two paralyzed in shock. Marth and Bowser recover before you do, and immediately scramble to dash off in their own directions.

“No one can beat the big bad King Bowser at picking swimwear!” The Koopa King laughs as he hurries off. Marth ends up being the last to rush out of earshot, mainly on account of nearly tripping over someone in his haste.

“Sorry! M-My apologies, excuse me--” And with a sympathetic wave to the unfortunate frazzled individual he bumped into, he’s gone. 

...What is this, a competition? Why couldn’t everyone just hang out together? Sheesh.

With a sigh, you approach the poor cute humanoid yellow dog that still looks a bit alarmed from the encounter. While you know who she is, you haven’t met her yet - she must have arrived at the mansion and then travelled to this world via the teleporters. Shaking off the weirdness from recent events, you put on your kindest smile.

“Hi there! You must be Isabelle. I’m the owner of the mansion that everyone is staying in - it’s so nice to meet you!”

Isabelle brightens up at your introduction, giving you the sweetest smile you’ve ever seen. “Oh, hello! It’s so nice to meet you!!” She frowns, looking like she wants to say something else, but then shakes her head and puts on another smile. “Um, do you know where the Mayor is? I have something to give them!”

As if on cue, Villager tumbles out of the Fight Cloud that’s making its rounds across the sand. They shake their head and dust themselves off as they stand up. Upon spotting Isabelle, Villager smiles and waves.

“There you are! I brought what you asked for!” Scurrying over, she takes out a neatly-folded black wetsuit. “Geez, I can’t believe you forgot to bring it with you… And after I reminded you and everything!”

Villager rubs the back of their head sheepishly before accepting the wetsuit, shoving it in their pocket. Somehow. They follow up with a big ol’ “question mark” expression, to which Isabelle beams and nods in response.

“Yes, I finished all my work and found someone to look after the office while I’m gone! So that means I can finally join you for the  _ Super Smash Bros. _ event!”

Villager claps and dances with delight, to which Isabelle giggles in response. It always makes you happy to see another person join the  _ Smash Bros. _ family, so you can’t help but smile with them. The mini celebration ends, and Villager asks Isabelle if she wants to go snorkeling.

“Oh, I ate an apple before coming here, so I probably shouldn’t…” She thinks of something, then looks up to you warmly. “I know! Why don’t you go with the Mayor instead?”

Snorkeling does actually sound kind of fun. But, you still have the same problem as before… “Actually, I don’t have any clothes I can swim in…” Not to mention, you’ve got three weirdos scrambling around that are really devoted to hanging out with you? For some reason? You honestly cannot fathom why.

“That’s okay - you can borrow my wetsuit if you want!” Before you can say anything, Isabelle takes out a second wetsuit - this one green - from her pocket. Seriously, what is  _ up  _ with these two’s pockets?!

“Oh, um…” Gah, she looks so happy to help out! How could you say no? Hesitating, you take the wetsuit from her to study it. “Will it… fit?” After all, she is much shorter than you, and your body is… well, it is what it is. But she waves away your concerns, smile never wavering.

“Of course it will! It’s ‘one size fits all’, after all!”

You admittedly still have doubts. 

But you can’t think of an excuse that wouldn’t sound rude. You don’t want to make Isabelle sad, do you?! Of course you don’t! So you mumble “I guess I’ll uh, find somewhere to try it on,” and scurry across the sand to find a change room… or something.

* * *

 

Well by golly, it fits! And it’s more comfortable than you were expecting - once you have it on and let it sit for awhile, at least. Skin exposure is pretty minimal too, so that’s like… double the comfort! Take that, self-esteem!

When you make your way back to Villager and Isabelle, you ask the latter to track down those three  _ clowns  _ and inform them that you got the swimwear situation sorted, and that you’ve gone snorkeling. She happily obliges, telling you to “have fun!” before wandering off in search of The Dweeb Team.

You thought it would be a bit stressful, but snorkeling ends up being fun! You and Villager are joined by Kirby, Olimar, and Toon Link - all of whom are pretty amusing to watch. Olimar stops to analyze every new type of ocean plant he finds, and has his blue Pikmin carry random trinkets and garbage back to shore. Villager keeps grabbing shells and small sea creatures to shove into their pocket. Took Link accidentally swims into a Squishy and flails about, inadvertently getting tangled in its tentacles despite the squid creature doing absolutely nothing at all to trap him. You laugh more than you help out.

When you’re further out - where the water gets deeper - Kirby starts excitedly telling you about a sunken ship that the two of you can go explore!! However, just as the two of you are ready to head off, something - nay, some _ one! _ \- comes plunging into the water from above.

Holding his breath and wearing a very serious expression on his face as he locks eyes with the two of you, King Dedede slowly floats back up to the surface.

Both you and Kirby follow him up curiously. As soon as you’ve all resurfaced, Dedede grabs Kirby out of the water and starts shaking him vigorously.

“Kirby! How could you?!” Is that seawater, or are there tears pooling at the corner of Dedede’s eyes? “You knew I wasn’t invited to Smash this time, and yet you brought everyone here to rub it in?!”

_ “What are you TALKING about??” _ Kirby yells, voice fluctuating from the movement. Dedede finally stops shaking him and looks at him with such hurt that yeah, you’re sure he’s going to cry.

“What d’ya mean, ‘what d’I mean’? I never got an invitation!!!”

Kirby pauses a moment before his mouth opens wide as if suddenly remembering something important. He pulls out a letter from somewhere that has “King Dedede” written on it alongside the  _ Super Smash Bros. _ symbol. Kirby beams as he offers it to Dedede, who gapes at the sight of the letter.

_ “See, of course you were invited, silly! Here you go!!!” _

Dedede takes the letter with one hand and then carelessly tosses Kirby somewhere behind him. The pink Star Warrior plunges into the water with a yelp as Dedede starts full-on crying, holding the letter close to his face as if to… ascertain its validity? Use it as a face cloth? You are not really sure anymore. Regardless, you decide to leave him to his happy tears and swim back to shore. You can introduce yourself to him back at the mansion.

It has been a long day, and although you enjoyed yourself, you can’t help but wonder when you’re going home. Maybe you’ll just go wait in the plane after getting changed. You end up reaching the beach about the same time as Pikachu, who is just now returning from its long surfing session. The electric mouse looks very content after burning off so much energy on its own (for the most part). It doesn’t even pay you any mind! Lucky you! It’s lifting its goggles up onto its forehead when R.O.B. (covered in grains of sand) approaches with a tablet. There’s a video call already in progress.

_ “Pikachu! How was the surf?” _ The man with the white coat and greying hair greets Pikachu familiarly, as if they are old friends. The mouse gives a casual nod and says the waves were “pretty good”. You assume there must be some translator device involved in the communication line, because the man hums in acknowledgement.

_ “It looks nice there - maybe I should start planning my next vacation!” _ In response, Pikachu smiles and waves him off, trying to downplay the Kirby world. It’s clear it had a good time today though.  _ “Well, if you say so. Anyways, I just got wind that they’re finally holding another Puzzle League tournament, and as the current champion, you’ve been specially invited! I’m sure you must have a busy schedule…” _

Face twisted in genuine shock and excitement, Pikachu quickly says no, it’s really not busy at all! Then, embarrassed by its wanton display of joy, the mouse clears its throat and claims it will  _ consider  _ gracing the tournament with its presence. The man chuckles, seeing through the facade immediately.

_ “I understand completely. Well, I hope to see you there!” _ The call ends and the tablet clicks off. Pikachu grins and does a fist pump before jumping in the air and doing a twirl. Wow, you had no idea it liked puzzle games so much! You can’t help but smile at its excitement, briefly forgetting all bad blood between the two of you.

Briefly.

In the middle of a twirl, Pikachu catches you staring and stops, even more embarrassed than before. It’s speechless for a moment before it yells  _ “What are you looking at?!” _ and grabs its surfboard off the ground, stomping off. In its path are Duck Hunt Dog and Mario, of whom the latter is using his hat (Cappy?) as a frisbee. Pikachu leaps at the hat with the intent to interfere with the game, but invisible bullets come out of nowhere and knock him back onto the sand. DHD snickers and Cappy turns back into his ghostie self, looking at Pikachu with concern while it gets up and shakes the sand off of it. Grumbling, Pikachu grabs its surfboard again and drags it along the beach, now in an even worse mood than before.

Well, if Pikachu is going to this Puzzle League tournament or whatever, then that means you won’t be seeing him for awhile. That’s a plus, right? You definitely won’t miss him ruining your life and home. Not even a little bit.

You almost start to go your own way, but catch sight of Pichu, who’s staring at Pikachu with an almost starstuck expression. Pikachu notices the smaller mouse as its passing by, and after a moment of consideration, removes the blue goggles from its own head and places it on Pichu’s. 

_ “Assert your dominance over the mansion while I’m gone, okay?” _

And with a pat on Pichu’s head, Pikachu continues walking. Pichu is silent for a moment, touching its own head in awe before suddenly letting out an overwhelmed noise. Tears of joy at being acknowledged spring forth as it calls out to its older evolution.

_ “I WILL! I’LL SHOW THEM ALL!!! I’LL MAKE YOU PROUD!!!!!!!” _

This is a very touching scene, only soured by the fact that now  _ Pichu  _ is the one who is going to break all your stuff. Lovely. So much for a break...

“Heyyy!” You turn to see Zelda approaching you with a smile and a wave. Seeing someone who  _ isn’t  _ a destructive electric rodent immediately lifts your spirits. “How’s it going? Did you have a good day?”

“Yeah,” you reply, and you’re somewhat surprised that your answer is completely genuine. Being away from home always gives you a hum of anxiety in your gut, but at some point today you managed to tune it out. The day had a few unpleasant moments, but… overall, you were content. Maybe even happy? You’re not entirely sure. 

“Well, if you’re not tired out yet…” Zelda’s eyes briefly glance away from you, displaying a moment of shyness before coming back to your face. “...I found a nice place on my walk. I think you’d like it. So maybe we could--”

The Hylian princess is suddenly interrupted by a drop of water hitting her nose. Startled, she looks skyward, and you follow suit just to be greeted by a thick layer of grey clouds. Huh, you were having so much fun today that you didn’t even notice the clouds coming in. 

That’s… interesting.

“Oh, well… Perhaps another time then.” Zelda hides her disappointment with an amused smile as the droplets increase in numbers, signalling the start of a heavy storm. “I suppose that means it’s time to go back.” As she turns to head in the direction of the plane, instead of following her, you are suddenly stuck by an  _ urge. _

“I uh, think I’m gonna take a walk first.” You try to act nonchalantly, but your gaze is unable to stay focused on Zelda’s form. “I’ll… meet you there.”

She studies you curiously, but then eventually decides not to question you, which you are relieved for. “Okay. See you soon.”

You awkwardly wave goodbye and scamper across the sand in the opposite direction. Out of the corner of your vision, you spot Pichu trying to rush into the water, yelling about proving its worth. Ivysaur pulls it away with its vines and heads in the direction of the plane despite the small rodent’s protests. As you walk, feeling the wet sand against your feet, the sounds of packing and retreating Smashers slowly dies out until you’ve gone far enough that you’re completely alone.

You never like it when it rains in your realm, because it’s  _ pathetic fallacy _ at its most accurate. You hate when you pretend to be okay - or worse, when you truly  _ think  _ you’re okay - but see that stupid cloud in the distance that would completely unravel your lie if anyone knew  _ how  _ the weather worked in your realm. It’s actually pretty rare that the sky in your world is completely clear, shining with such brilliance and colour that corresponds to only the purest of bliss. There’s always something weighing down on you: worry, fear, frustration, _ loneliness… _ And so, you can never escape those ugly clouds.

But here, in a whole other world, you cannot feel any clouds inside you. There is no storm threatening to tear you apart. This storm above and around you has nothing to do with you or how you feel inside. It’s just a force of nature, and for once you can actually appreciate how the rain feels on your skin, and how the low rumble of thunder merely shakes you physically, instead of emotionally.

Is this how it feels... to be free?

Is this why your ancestors… … ...?

No, you shouldn’t go there. You have guests in your realm right now! It’s selfish of you to consider such foolish ideas at a time like this. The whole tournament could be ruined because of you! You need to keep these types of feelings in until the event is over. Then… maybe…

You’re shaken out of your thoughts when you spot a small group of Smashers gathered by an outcropping of rocks at the edge of the water. Greninja, Ness, and Lucas are all crouched down and staring at something among the rocks. Curious, you decide to break your walk of solitude and approach to see what’s up. Once you’re close enough to peer over the trio’s heads, you can’t help but gasp.

There in the middle of the rocks is a tiny pool where a green-and-yellow frog with purple stars on it sits. While it’s smaller than Kirby-sized, it’s bigger than you thought regular frogs could be. If you held it in your hand, its pudgy little body would probably spill out over your fingers.

Greninja is staring at the frog in complete silence. Is he curious about this otherworldly cousin of his? Ness, holding a stick, slowly reaches out and pokes the frog gently.

It ribbits.

Quick as lightning, Greninja suddenly grabs the frog and leaps away with it, leaving the rest of you gaping at his sudden exit. Ness and Lucas glance at each other and shrug, before finally getting up and running across the beach in the direction of the plane. Before you make haste to follow, you stand up straight to give the orange-tinted ocean one last long look, admiring the way the rain ripples the surface.

…

Wait a minute. Frogs don’t live in oceans. So what was one doing all the way out here?

Could it be…?

Is this ocean…

...actually a lake?

* * *

 

As you walk along the beach, retracing your steps to return to the plane, you can’t help but stand in the pouring rain to watch like  _ four  _ Smashers try to wrestle Captain Falcon out of the water.

“Unhand me, you villains! I’m not scared of a little rain! Don’t make me look like a coward in front of the cute host!!”

It’s an extra half hour before everyone is  _ finally  _ on the plane and ready to go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NEXT TIME: (the first) sleepover chapter!!!!!!!!!
> 
> i think i've been gravitating towards having more interactions with the girls, but i'm hoping after next chapter (which is almost entirely about The Girls) we will finally see some more dude-centric interactions. the cast has had too many withdrawn/sporadic guys up until now - soon we will have someone who can counter daisy's op romancing powers. 
> 
> as an aside, i was hoping i'd be doing halloween chapters this month, but i have a feeling those are going to be pushed to november lol. i guess we'll wait and see how overlong the next two chapters are!
> 
> cool reminder to follow me on twitter dot com @Yoshichao if you want to see some SNIPPETS of the next chapter(s) before it comes out, and maybe even help me with ideas! alternatively, stop by and watch me make a fool of myself. i'm pretty good at that too.
> 
> as always - thanks for reading!!!


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